Getting Creative on a Budget

Winter can be a tricky time of year.  The weather often dictates how we spend our time.  I often find myself searching for new, inexpensive ideas to entertain my kids and keep my sanity.  Trying to do this without television can be exponentially harder.  We try to save those special movies or cartoons for extreme scenarios, like sick days.  I also don't have an endless budget, so I have to be creative when trying to find new activities for my VERY ACTIVE boys.  

Maybe you have a child that is very content to stay with an activity for hours at a time.  Count yourself blessed.  I, on the other hand, have a toddler whose first word every single morning is "outside"!  He gets out of bed and runs to the door; while I'm left rubbing my eyes and searching for caffeine.

The internet has a multitude of sites for you to get ideas.  Unfortunately, I have very little time to spend searching through Pinterest for new ideas because of the previous child that I mentioned.  I have to think on the fly most days.  So, to you moms who have little time, here are some ideas that we use:

1. Water play – We fill the bathtub up, and the kids play in the water at all hours of the day.  My toddler loves his bath crayons and my 9 month old loves to splash in the water.  Put food coloring in some shaving cream, give them a brush, and let them paint away.
2. Cooking – My toddler loves to help me cook.  Simple sandwich making or cooking dinner from scratch, he enjoys it all.
3. Bring outside inside – We bring items like acorns, pine cones, leaves and twigs inside to make “outside” sensory bins.  Lay out a big tarp or sheet, and dump all of those things out for them to explore.  Caution: This will be messy, but kids are messy and you can always clean.
4. Painting – We paint all sorts of creations.  The key is to not do it all the time so it never gets old.  Paint your family on rocks, and then tell stories with them.
5. Pillow pile – We pile every pillow in the house in a giant heap on the floor.  I let my toddler jump from the sofa into the pile of pillows.  He gets his energy out safely, my infant thinks he is hilarious, and I just have to monitor and laugh at him.  (Shhh, don’t tell my dad we are doing this!)
6. Go outside – We have clothes for all sorts of weather.  Who says a snowsuit has to be worn in the snow?  Also, don’t project your temperature sensations onto your child.  They may not be as cold as you think.  Also, it helps to get rid of those germs that hang out during the winter when we get no fresh air.
7. Read a book – Something so simple that you probably already do on a regular basis can be turned into something magical.  Build a fort, dress up and read a story about living in a castle.  Let your kids be the storyteller if they are old enough.  Role play.
8. Sensory bins – Create new and exciting sensory bins.  Send your kids on a treasure hunt in an extra large sensory bin.  Give them all sorts of new containers to pour and scoop.
9. Dance party – Crank up some tunes and dance until everyone falls down.  Get the babies involved by babywearing while you are dancing.  Everyone will tire, and you can burn those extra winter calories.
10. Crafting – Pick out specific crafts that go along with holidays, birthdays, seasons or stories that you have been reading/telling.  Make sure the craft is something that is age appropriate so that your kids can really be the one crafting.
11. Blocks – Wooden blocks are fun for kids of all ages.  Get creative.  Use those blocks to see how many blocks a room is wide.  Build a new road for their cars to drive on.
12. Music – See what you can find in your house that makes music.  If the kids have an instrument, then have a symphony in your own living room.
13. Cleaning – Younger kids will especially enjoy getting to “help” you clean.  A squirt bottle of water, an old toothbrush, a cleaning rag and the bathroom floor can be hours of fun.
14. Games – Invent new games or play board games.  If your kids are too young for board games, then use things like beanbags, ropes and wooden rings to create games for them to enjoy.
15. Playdough – Playdough is fun for kids of all ages.  This is a safe and easy thing for younger kids to learn how to use scissors on.  It is fun for the older kids because they can use their endless imagination to create all sorts of objects.

What are some ways that you guys stay entertained through the winter?

"Wisdom" of The Soon-To-Be Mom

January is often a time for self-reflection, starting new projects and making resolutions. Many of us begin the new year with hopes to improve ourselves. What a perfect time to feature a series of posts on gaining wisdom! Over the course of this month, we'll post interviews with experienced mothers and feature stories written by women about what they've learned, and are continuing to learn, about motherhood. Thank you for starting the new year with us. We wish you all a very happy and inspired year of growth! ~TMC--

When I first found out I was pregnant I'm sure my oldest sister probably thought to herself, "Oh crap, here it comes..."

Over the past few months I have texted her at least four times a week asking random questions about aches, pains, breasts, hips, and lady parts. As my oldest sister, with three children of her own, it is her responsibility (opinion warning) to be my living, breathing, and talking version of What to Expect When You're Expecting. 

   My sister has handled me well, but as with most new moms I began my pregnancy in search of as much information as I possibly could. Despite my upbringing with six siblings and experience with babies as a nanny and "Auntie Kels," becoming mom is an entirely different ball game. Don't get me wrong, I've got the job of auntie on lock. Give them lots of candy and treats they shouldn't have, let them watch as many episodes of Fresh Beat Band as they want, and under no circumstances put them to bed when you were instructed to. If they cry, you just give them back. If they bite you, you just give them back. If they are in a bad mood, well you get it by now, just give them back! However, the one growing inside of me right at this moment, the one that could come out at any point in time over the next few weeks - I can't give her back. She's mine. And I've checked all the baby and pregnancy books - kids do NOT come with a return policy! There is no label on them that reads,

"If dissatisfied with lack of sleep, sore boobs, mastitis, crying (even your own), and lady parts on fire please return to hospital to have baby shoved back inside." 

   When I found out that this month's theme would be Gaining Wisdom I realized that I have been seeking wisdom as a pregnant woman and soon-to-be mother. From asking my sister a slew of weekly questions to reading from blogs and books - the past nine months have been based around gaining as much knowledge as possible on pregnancy, labor, pumping, and all things baby related. Quite frankly, I've scared myself more than I've educated myself! But as I prepared to write this post I thought to myself, "What is wisdom when it comes to being a new mom?"

Let me first define wisdom: "(n) The quality of having experience, knowledge, and good judgment; the quality of being wise."

Laughable, right?

   Nothing about that definition applies to a new mom. Nothing. Experience? Being an aunt doesn't qualify me for being a mother. Knowledge? Two days ago I had to ask my midwife why my stomach and back hurt so bad throughout the day only to find out I have been having false labor. Good judgement? When someone shared the benefits of co-sleeping to me I asked her (sarcastically) if it is 'as beneficial' for our baby to co-sleep with our yellow and black labradors instead of me. (She didn't think it was as funny as I did. Actually she didn't find it funny at all.)

   We seek the wisdom and the knowledge of others because we know absolutely nothing. By asking others we are receiving opinions and ideas that we hope to apply when our children come into this world. The simple truth remains, however, that it is ultimately our decisions and choices that guide how we raise and nurture our children. It's important to be educated, to seek the wisdom and knowledge of others, but in the end we gain the most wisdom by doing it. Applying little things here and there, but never living by the books, the blogs, or the opinions. I believe whole-heartedly that there are two births that occur when we have our children. The birth of the child is obvious, something to remember and cherish, but in that moment there is the birth of the mother. Things change for us in that moment. Our existence is no longer defined by our accomplishments, our goals, our tasks, or our agendas. Our world is immediately wrapped around the baby that just ripped apart our downstairs and has spent the past 10 minutes screaming at us because our boobs are seemingly defective. Get comfy ... It will be 18 years before you get a break and unfortunately those boobs will never shrink back to normal.

   When I did research on this post I skipped over all of the "new mommy" questions and went right to the gut of things. I wanted to hear moms tell me what their children do or have done that have made them proud. I wanted to slide past all of the breastfeeding/pumping questions or post-labor healing tips and tricks. With days (or weeks) to go I needed to read that this is all going to be worth it. I needed to see women in my life brag about their children and how parenting, regardless of how difficult, has its rewards. The task before me is a daunting one and in my search of wisdom I've often just returned scared or confused. I hoped to find the light at the end of the tunnel that says, "You'll get through it and it will be awesome." So, I posted on my personal Facebook account asking mothers what has been one of their proudest moments. You know what most of the ladies responded with?

"I can't choose just one!"

   I read each response. I poured over the brags and the flaunts and praises and I smiled to myself. I sought comfort in my time of fear, and I found it. Maybe that's all the wisdom I need to glean right now. Maybe, just maybe, I just need to know it's worth it; that the pride outweighs the challenges.

So for now I'll sit back and wait on my daughter to make her grand entrance into the world. And when I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing or am fearful I will focus on what's to come:

Pride, confidence, wisdom, and the birth of a mother. 

Recipe of the Week - White Chicken Chili

Chili is my husband’s favorite  soup/stew, but we get tired of the mainstream beef, tomatoes, corn and kidney beans.  This is an excellent one to mix things up!  It is very flexible, and my favorite way to make it now is to sauté the onions, garlic, spices, and green chilies, then throw everything in the crockpot to let the flavors really meld together.

Ingredients:

1 Tbsp. oil

1 onion, chopped

3 cloves garlic, crushed

2 4 ounce cans chopped green chile peppers

2 tsps. ground cumin

1 tsp. dried oregano

1 tsp. ground cayenne pepper

2 cups low-sodium chicken or vegetable broth (you can add more if you want it to go further)

3 cups chopped/shredded cooked chicken (I’ve used way less than this, or none at all)

3 15 ounce cans white cannellini beans (drain 1 can, use a whole can, and puree one whole can in a food processor to thicken the chili)

1 can pinto beans, drained

1-2 cans black beans

Optional cilantro, lime, Monterey jack cheese

Directions:

Heat the oil in a large saucepan over medium-low heat.  Slowly cook and stir the onion until tender.  Mix in the garlic, green chiles, cumin, oregano, and cayenne.  Continue to cook and stir until the mixture is tender, about 3 minutes.  Mix in the chicken and stir briefly.  Add broth and beans.  Simmer 15 minutes, stirring occasionally (or place in crockpot on low 4-6 hours or high 2-3 hours).

You can always add more beans or broth to adjust texture, as well as to make the chili go further.  Dried beans would work as well, you would just have to add more cooking time and much more broth or water to desired preference.

Adapted from http://allrecipes.com/recipe/cha-chas-white-chicken-chili/detail.aspx?event8=1&prop24=SR_Title&e11=cha%20cha%27s%20white%20chicken%20chili&e8=Quick%20Search&event10=1&e7=Home%20Page

Feeding Your Future Foodie

I've heard "wisdom is knowledge applied." So, as we read books and blogs, talk to experienced moms, live in community with other wise parents we take in their knowledge and turn it into wisdom. Let's not just read these words, but try to apply them and share them! I only started on my health journey after my 3rd son was born. Unfortunately, the wisdom of whole foods, foundational nutrition for my kids and their development, and the simple tips to follow when feeding them were not presented to me. Or maybe, I didn't listen to my healthy friends.

When my daughter started eating solid foods, I remember feeling lost, nervous, and scared. It's an incredible responsibility to be sure she was receiving all that she needed.  I thought I had to buy the expensive magical jars on the shelf that had been there for who knows how long, cooked to oblivion, and filled with some unnecessary ingredients. This was 10 years ago! We are so blessed now with Pinterest and amazing blogs to help us now. Admittedly, I did not feed her very well. Now, I'm happy to share with moms about some easy and wonderful tips to feeding your baby! I wish someone had sat me down and shared this with me.

Today, by some amazing act of grace, my 3 kids are all very healthy. I believe it's never too late to start building their immunities up again. They love fruits and vegetables now, and we do our best to keep an abundance of fruits and vegetables in our systems with smoothies, soups and salads!

First, is your baby ready for solid foods? Here are a few signs that he or she is ready, but be sure to talk to your pediatrician to be certain.

• Lets you know she's full from a meal of nursing or bottle by turning away
• Can sit up and hold her head up without assistance
• Newfound interest in your food
• Doubling of birth weight

Some basic tips about starting solid foods:

• Try one per week to be sure there are no allergies
• Start with non-sweet veggies first (babies will enjoy sweet fruits more, and possibly not enjoy veggies when introduced)
• No salt or sweeteners are needed for their foods
• Room temperature is best to avoid burning their tender mouth
• Don't assume they don't like something, re-introduce it another week
• Talk to your pediatrician

Handy tools you might need:

• A food processor, or high powered blender like a VitaMix
• A good vegetable peeler
• Apple corer
• Small mason jars for storage
• Ice cube tray for freezing
• Potato masher or fork

One day on a trip to Our Father's Farm, I learned of an interesting food for babies. An egg yolk a day beginning at 4-6 months. The egg yolk supplies cholesterol needed for mental development as well as important sulphur-containing amino acids.

The white, which contains difficult-to-digest proteins, should not be given before the age of one year.

Please make sure to find egg yolks from pasture-fed hens or hens raised on flax meal, fish meal or insects are also rich in the omega-3 long-chain fatty acids found in mother's milk but which may be lacking in cow's milk. These fatty acids will assist in the proper development of the brain. Parents who feed egg yolk to baby have been known to have children who speak and take directions at an early age.

A couple ways you can serve an egg yolk:

• Place and egg yolk in a bowl and pour simmering water to lightly cook it, let cool and serve.
• Mix in an egg yolk with hot cooked rice cereal, cool and serve.

First foods for baby:

Avocado

A great first food for baby, avocados burst with essential fats and nutrients that a growing baby needs. Smooth and creamy, avocados are easily digested and well tolerated by most babies! Like the banana, it's a portable food in its own wrapper!

Vitamins: A, C, Niacin, Folate Minerals: Potassium, Phosphorus, Iron, Magnesium, Calcium

1. Peel and take out the pit of a ripe avocado - do not cook 2. Cut “meat” out and mash with a fork 3. There should be no need to use a machine as just like bananas, avocados have a very soft consistency and texture. Avocados do not need to be cooked 4. Add breast milk or water to thin or add cereal to thicken up if you'd like

Acorn or Butternut Squash 

1. Cut acorn, hubbard, or butternut squash in half, scoop out seeds 2. Place an inch of water in a baking pan, then place squash halves "face" down in the pan. Check on water level while baking 3. Bake in a 400 degree oven for 40 minutes or until the “shell/skin” puckers and halves feel soft then scoop squash “meat” out of the shell 4. Place squash "meat" into the food processor and puree 5. Add water as necessary to achieve a smooth, thin consistency 6. You can also peel the squash, scoop out the seeds and then cut into chunks and boil/steam until tender (like when boiling potatoes for mashed potatoes) 7. Follow steps 4 and 5

Yams/Sweet Potato

Vitamins: A (24,877 mg ), C, Folate Minerals: Potassium, Sodium, Selenium, Phosphorous, Magnesium, Calcium

1. Wash and poke holes in sweet potato with fork then wrap sweet potatoes in tin foil - do not peel for baking 2. Place in a 400 degree oven and bake for 30 minutes or until soft 3. Let cool and puree the potato in a blender or food processor

OR

1. Peel sweet potatoes and cut into small chunks 2. Place chunks into a pan with just enough water to slightly cover potato 3. "Steam" boil until tender, be sure to check on the water level 4. Reserve any left over water to use for thinning out the sweet potatoes 5. If you have baked your sweet potato, remove skins and use liquid from your preferred source 6. Place sweet potato into the processor and puree 7. Add the reserved water or other liquid as necessary to achieve a smooth, thin consistency minutes or until a knife inserted near center comes out clean

Peas

Peas are high in protein, vitamin C and A! Anything green has amazing detoxifying properties. As with any of these fragile vegetables, don't over cook them as you will lose some of their valuable nutrients.

1. Bring a cup of water to boil 2. Add frozen peas, cook until just tender 3. Blend in food processor or blender 4. Cool and serve

Bananas

Bananas are another great first food for your baby. Research indicates that bananas and their mucosal properties actually help coat the tummy and help aid in digestion. Bananas are sweet, which may help baby more readily accept the first food experience.

Vitamins: A, C, Folate Minerals: Potassium, Phosphorus, Selenium, Magnesium, Calcium

1. Peel a ripe banana - do not cook 2. Place banana in a food processor/food mill or blender and puree 3. You can also mash the banana in a bowl using a regular fork – heat in microwave for 25 seconds prior to mashing for extra softness 4. Add breast milk or water to thin or add cereal to thicken up if you'd like

Apples (Applesauce)

Vitamins: A, C, Folate Minerals: Potassium, Magnesium, Calcium

This recipe is written so that you may use any amount of apples you wish 1. Peel, core and cut apple into slices/chunks 2. Place slices or chunks into a pan with just enough water to slightly cover apples 3. Boil/steam until tender; be sure to check on the water level and stir. 4. Apples may be mashed with a potato masher to achieve a smooth applesauce consistency. If your masher will not achieve a puree type of consistency, then follow steps 5 – 7 5. Reserve any leftover water to use for thinning out the apples 6. Place into your choice of appliance for pureeing and begin pureeing 7. Add the reserved water as necessary to achieve a smooth, thin puree 8. Add cereal to thicken if you'd like 9. Ask your pediatrician about adding some cinnamon for new tastes

Pears

Vitamins: A, C, Folate Minerals: Potassium, Phosphorus, Magnesium, Calcium

1. Peel and cut into chunks so as to avoid the little seed portion. 2. Steam gently until tender; 3. Place in a blender/food processor and puree until smooth. You may be able to just use a fork too. 4. Use the leftover cooking water if needed but Pears tend to be very runny and watery without adding liquid - Add some baby cereal to thicken if needed.

Mango (6-8 months or older)

Vitamins: A (1262 IU in one cup), C, E, K, Folate Minerals: Potassium, Phosphorus, Magnesium, Calcium, Sodium

1. Peel 2. Scoop our the "meat" 3. Puree in a food processor, or mash up until smooth

Organic Brown Rice Cereal

If you decide to make homemade baby cereal, make it with brown rice (organic if preferred). Whole grains are more healthy and nutritious for your baby (and for the whole family).

1/4 c. rice powder (organic brown rice ground in blender or food processor) 1 cup water

1. Bring liquid to boil in saucepan. Add the rice powder while stirring constantly. 2. Simmer for 10 minutes, whisking constantly, mix breast milk, egg yolk and fruits if desired Serve warm

For more tips on a healthy family and a community of healthy minded friends, please check out www.puregoodness.net and our facebook page!

What I Wish I'd Known

January is often a time for self-reflection, starting new projects and making resolutions. Many of us begin the new year with hopes to improve ourselves. What a perfect time to feature a series of posts on gaining wisdom! Over the course of this month, we'll post interviews with experienced mothers and feature stories written by women about what they've learned, and are continuing to learn, about motherhood. Thank you for starting the new year with us. We wish you all a very happy and inspired year of growth! ~TMC-- Wisdom is certainly something I have gained through being a mother -- my ideas and thoughts change from baby to baby, or even minute to minute.  As parents, we are always evolving as we find what works and what doesn't, and I think that is a good thing -- the ability to change and grow.  As a doula, I love watching moms and dads prepare for and start their journey into parenthood -- what an amazing time!  It is not something to enter into blindly, however, and I love educating women on all the choices that they have when it comes to birth.  Below is a bit of information about my journey -- my journey to find something that felt just right.

What I wish I knew for my 1^st birth:

• You only get 1 “first birth.”
• You have lots of choices—do your research.
• Listen to others and ask questions—don’t take what one person says as an absolute truth.  Sample lots of people (friends and family members)—learn from their experiences.
• You have time.  Although good prenatal care is important, not every decision has to be made by the time you are 6 weeks pregnant.
• Choosing your Primary Care Provider is more important than choosing a hairdresser—ask more than one person (even if she has good hair).
• Listen to your gut—if you don’t feel comfortable, move on.
• Read, study, learn, grow—devour information.
• These are not good reasons for picking a place to have your baby: gourmet food, new building or state of the art labor and delivery rooms, or distance (within reason).
• There is no reason to be afraid of the pain—the pain is manageable, exhilarating, and necessary for having a baby.
• Fear comes from lack of understanding—labor is natural and the female body was made to have a baby.

My first birth did nothing but set me up for failure in future births.  That statement seems very harsh (so harsh I almost did not type it), but it is true.  I was induced early, and despite a fairly uncomplicated labor, I was given a terrible episiotomy (after only pushing 3 times, so I doubt it was any sort of “emergency”).  Breastfeeding was almost a complete failure, except for the fact that an amazing lactation consultant helped me and encouraged me.  My baby had to stay in the hospital for almost a week due to jaundice, because he was born too early—this only added to my breastfeeding trouble and my baby blues.  I never saw the doctor that delivered him again, and I am fairly certain that I cannot even picture her face.

My first birth taught me nothing—surprising—because people kept commenting on how well things went.   That birth led me into my 2nd birth, which lead me straight to the O.R. to welcome my baby with my arms strapped to the table and my husband outfitted in scrub gear.  I first laid eyes on my daughter as she was lifted over a blue surgical curtain.

I finally hit my birthing wall and wised up, however my 1^st and 2^nd births followed me.  I desired to have my future babies in a Birthing Center; however, due to being a VBAC (Vaginal Birth after Cesarean) I had to be monitored more closely in Labor and Delivery.   (I won’t even mention that stupid episiotomy—scar tissue is not very strong, and even by baby number 4, he was still showing his ugly face.)  Even so, my 3^rd and 4^th babies were welcomed into the world by the skilled and patient hands of an excellent midwife.  Her face will always be etched in my mind, her calm voice in my head—she is a part of our family. When my 3^rd baby was born and placed on my chest, I was so surprised by how calm and miraculous it was all at the same time.  My husband said, “I love midwives!” while staring into the face of our new son.

If I could do it all over again, it would be so different.  However, I can’t go back, only forward.  There is no reason to sit around and think about all the “what ifs”, and likewise, there is no reason to blame myself or point fingers.  That being said, I don’t want to sit back and watch women march blindly into birth—I want them to be informed one way or another.  I want women to make choices that best fit themselves and their families, even if they are not the same choices that I would make.

My birth journeys have made me who I am today, and for that I am thankful.  No matter what, I will never forget the emotion of laying eyes on my first born child—there are no words to describe the feeling, so I won’t even try.  However, if you are a mother, I know you are picturing it, feeling it deep within.  The sounds, the sights, the smells…they will never be like the first time, will they?

Recipe of the Week - "Southern Boy Approved" Crock Pot BBQ

Once upon a time there was a Georgia Boy. Like most good Southern boys, he was raised to love three things: His church, his mama, and his bbq.

That Boy grew up, and got his first job.  At a bbq restaurant.

And then he moved north to attend school.

Where he met a Pennsylvania Girl.

After a couple years, they got married and settled into a life in Northern Virginia.

But the boy was sad.  Because, you see, it is common knowledge that Northern Virginia just does not have a "true" bbq joint.

Until one day, his loving and devoted wife stumbled upon a recipe.  The easiest, most hands-free bbq recipe EVER.

And the Boy loved it.  He loved it so much that he requested it over and over again.  When the Boy's parents came to visit, they loved it, too.

So now, that Pennsylvania Girl (me!) is sharing that recipe with you.

INGREDIENTS:

3 pounds (approx.) Pork Roast 1 package dry onion soup mix 1 cup water barbecue sauce sliced American cheese

DIRECTIONS:

Trim as much fat off the the pork roast as possible. Place in the crockpot. Mix package of soup mix with cup of water and pour over roast. Leave in crockpot for 10 hours on low. Take most of the juices out of crockpot leaving about 1/2 cup.

Shred pork roast and pour Barbecue sauce over, stir and let it warm up about 10 minutes. Serve on Hamburger Buns or Steak Rolls with cheese slices.

Um, that's it.  It's ridiculous how easy this is.  But I've served it over and over and it's always a crowd pleaser.  It even looks yummy.  See?

Salad Bar Parenting: How to Get Your Baby to Poop.

As moms, we have the glorious duty of dealing with doody. Sometimes it comes on a schedule, sometimes it comes as a surprise, but sometimes it needs a little help. But how can you help your #1 priority go #2? Never fear, mamas. I made a list.

How to get your baby to poop:

1. If you cloth diaper, put most of them into the washing machine. As soon as you start the load, a load will come.
2. If going to the pool, put a swim diaper on your baby and squeeze their sausage legs into a one piece suit. As you set them into the hot car, you'll smell their warm surprise.
3. Be sure to run late for church. As soon as you're ready to go, they just went.
4. Two words: white outfit
5. Find the only gas station for miles and find that there is no changing table: Gassy lassie.

Good luck, mama. You're not alone.

Motherhood 101: Looking Back at the First Year

Happy December, Readers! Too often this month can become a frantic checklist of holiday planning, last minute shopping (or crafting), readying the house for guests, packing for travel, stressful eating and general busyness. Let's be honest, that is not a recipe for a calm and happy parent. This month we asked our writers to share some of their holiday plans, their reflections on the past year and their thoughts and goals for 2013. As 2012 closes, we are so thankful for the wonderful things that have happened at The Motherhood Collective over the past months. We wish you all a very happy and fulfilling end to your year. ~TMC-- When I graduated college in 2009 I had no idea that in just three short years I would be celebrating my first Christmas as a mother. I still have to pinch myself from time to time and make sure this is really my life. This loving and honorable husband is really mine. This beautiful and silly girl is really mine. This crazy adventure is really mine... and only the beginning! Our daughter will celebrate her first birthday just two days after Christmas so it's very fitting that the time of year when we tend to reflect on the past coincides with my 1-year 'anniversary' of motherhood.

So now as I look back at 2012 {what a year!} I make note of the MANY important lessons I learned in my first year with the title of "mommy" and pass them along to fellow rookies. Here are just a few, because I'm sure you have better things to do than spend the whole day reading.

The emotions surrounding having a baby can really screw with your head. Especially because no one mother and no one birthing experience are the same, so our natural instinct to compare ourselves to other mommy friends just adds to the screwiness. So what if I didn't immediately cry when I saw my baby for the first time. It doesn't make me a bad mother. Not at all. I was more in love than I could possibly imagine but my body hadn't quite caught up with the euphoria of my brain. Natural childbirth will have that effect on a gal. Instead my tear ducts were reacting to the trauma the rest of my body had just faced while my brain surpassed it all and went into mommy mode. No tears. Unfathomable love.

Assuming that your husband is automatically on the same page as you is even more ridiculous in the first year of parenthood than it was during the first year of marriage. "They" say that the first months of marriage are the hardest. Quite frankly I don't think "their" marriage lasted long enough to get to the first months of parenthood. It's difficult. You disagree. You fret over little things. You keep things bundled up inside you so long that you find yourself crying over dirty diapers for no reason at all. Ok, so maybe that last one is just me. The point is, marriage doesn't get easier with 'new additions'. I wouldn't say it gets harder either, it just changes. You both change, for the better in my book. And hopefully you get the chance to fall in love with this changed person all over again. I did, and continue to.

There is no such thing as baby proof. Whatever it is, they will always find a way to climb up it, get it open, knock it over, push it under, tear it up, barf on it, step on it, and completely ruin it. I think it's God's way of reminding us to pay better attention and not be so attached to material possessions.

You will look at women with pierced nipples in a whole other light that first time your 8-month old baby locks his/her jaw in the middle of breastfeeding. Holy bruised boob Batman! I never thought I would have to battle the undeniable urge to smack, swat, punch, or toss this evil THING that was causing me such excruciating pain. Thankfully I reminded my cavewoman instincts that beating my child was not an option. And speaking of boobs... it's totally possible to feel a 'let down' if you're still nursing and you hear another baby crying.  For some reason I always thought that was one of those mystical mommy myths people tell you for fun, but it's totally true. It's like magic.

Embrace the fact that other mothers, including complete strangers, will give you parenting advice. Just like the ladies who continuously said, "you just wait" all throughout your pregnancy, some moms will stop at nothing to make sure you know that they could parent your child better than you could. It's annoying. It's unavoidable. It will make you want to smack them across the face and say, "I got this Crazytown, BE GONE!" Please don't smack a perfect stranger. Instead, listen to what they have to say while nodding like you are soaking it all in. It will make them feel like they are making a difference and it will keep you out of a cat fight.  If their 'wisdom' is worth holding onto, appreciate the encounter for what you learned. If it's a load of crap, take it with a big fat grain of salt, and do your best not to laugh as you leave. In fact, this whole post could be seen as "advice" of which you are welcome to do with as you please.

I'm pretty sure I learned more about myself and my life within this last year than I did in all 4 years of college, and I can't wait to see what else this tiny person has to teach me in years to come. What are some of the most memorable lessons you learned during your maiden voyage of mommyhood?

Instagram Round-Up | December

Even though our days of December were filled with the busyness of the holidays, we still found time to get together a couple of times this month!

Our new playgroup calendar continued steadily with a morning & afternoon playgroup meeting on the 1st and 3rd Mondays of the month. We had so many great mamas and babies come out even when playgroup locations were changed to warmer, inside locations. (For the latest updates about playgroup, like us on Facebook!)

We were honored to be mentioned in The Clutch Guide, a local women's magazine, this month. Look for us at the conclusion of Amour Bebe, the monthly column about all-things-motherhood. What a treat!

Even though there were no cafe meetings this month (we understand how busy everyone is this time of year!), the leadership team was busy churning out new ideas for 2013. We can't wait to share with you what is coming up! (Do you Like our Facebook Page? We share TONS of info there during the month!)

Here on the blog, we asked our writers to share some of their holiday plans, their reflections on the past year and their thoughts and goals for 2013. Here are a few wonderful posts that were shared by our team of writers this month:

• Thriving on a low-budget Christmas
• Celebrating the Holidays with Preschool Aged Children
• Making a List and Checking It (more than) Twice

As 2012 closes, we are so thankful for the wonderful things that have happened at The Motherhood Collective over the past year and we are excited for all of the things in the works for 2013!

Resting in Questions

As the year comes to a close I find myself trying to take time to stop and find some quiet. December can be a crazy time for our family. The holidays always hold their own level of busyness. On top of that we have two little girls and a plethora of school activities, the last push at my husband’s work to make end of year sales numbers, and finishing up Christmas orders for my shop. But in the midst of all of it, I find myself craving some downtime to sit and reflect. To truly processes through what this past year has brought us. We have been through a miscarriage, celebrated 6 years of marriage, started our oldest in pre-school, celebrated one year of my husband’s new job, grown my business, and I started writing again. It has definitely been a year of changes for us. It has been a year of letting-go of expectations and learning to simply be. To live with the dozens of questions that have filled our life. Living with the questions has never been my strong point. I like answers. Not questions. And yet, as I have given myself into living the questions, I have found a side of myself I thought I lost. As I have faced some of the most painful experiences of my life, I have found comfort in women I did not expect.

If 2012 has been a year of questions, it would be easy to say that I would like 2013 to be a year of answers. I am not sure how practical that is. So my goals for the next few months are to find more peace with the questions. To rest in the unknown and trust my gut. To let go of my expectations and allow myself to embrace the reality. To show more grace to other and myself. To search for what I have in common with other moms, rather than what makes us different. To continue to build relationships with whomever crosses my path, whether expected or sought after. To allow who I am to continue to grow and blossom. To remember who I want to be, not just for me, but for my daughters. A woman who rests, laughs, loves, plays, thinks, reflects, and offers unconditional grace.

Recipe of the Week - Ginger Melts

It doesn’t matter the time of year.  I am ALWAYS ready to eat Ginger Snaps.  But I do crave them even more when I’m already drinking pumpkin lattes, in a sweater, while watching the leaves fall.  I have an amazing recipe—one we tend to call Ginger Melts at our house, because there’s not much snappy about them…except maybe the speed at which they disappear.  Their tragic flaw?  Refined flour, refined sugar, and shortening.  Don’t get me wrong—I’m not going to sit here and tell you I will never make this recipe again.  My husband worked a 14 hour day a few weeks ago.  I dug for the shortening, dusted it off, and set to work making the bonafides. After that batch, I wondered about a healthy version—one with nothing refined.  My understanding of sugars is growing, so I’ve been trying to mold my kitchen worldview.  I loved my original recipe so much that I thought I would set about modifying it before I searched for a new one.   I was pleasantly surprised when this batch came out just as soft as the originals, and even more “gingery” from the added molasses!  We like this one even better now.  And they continue the name of Ginger Melts!  I am going to continue experimenting (maybe some pureed prunes or dates for a more natural sugar?).  What do you use for sugar? Ginger Melts

2 ½ cups whole wheat or white whole wheat flour 2 tsp. baking soda 2 tsp. ginger 1 tsp. all-spice 1 tsp. nutmeg 2 tsp. cinnamon ½ tsp. salt ¾ cup coconut oil 5 Tbl. molasses 4 Tbl. honey 4 Tbl. Agave 1 egg Flax Seed (optional)

Oven Temp:  350 degrees.  Mix dry ingredients.  In separate bowl, mix wet ingredients.  Stir into dry ingredients until well mixed.  Form into balls (smaller than golf balls, bigger than grapes).  If you want, you can roll them in flax seed (this gives it that “grainy”texture like the ginger snaps that are rolled in sugar).  Place on greased cookie sheet or parchment paper and bake for 10-12 minutes.

Note:  The cookies won’t look/feel done when you take them out, but they are done.  Let them sit for a bit to help them solidify.

If you have a favorite recipe you'd like to share with our readers, please submit it here or email us at submissions@themotherhoodcollective.org

Tools for "A Loving Birth"

Assurance  

Let go of tension

Output – visit the restroom frequently

Vocalize

Imagery

Nourishment

Get Moving

Breathing

Intuition

Rest in between contractions

Trust

Hands on! (massage)

Trying Out a Toy Rotation

Happy December, Readers! Too often this month can become a frantic checklist of holiday planning, last minute shopping (or crafting), readying the house for guests, packing for travel, stressful eating and general busyness. Let's be honest, that is not a recipe for a calm and happy parent. This month we asked our writers to share some of their holiday plans, their reflections on the past year and their thoughts and goals for 2013. As 2012 closes, we are so thankful for the wonderful things that have happened at The Motherhood Collective over the past months. We wish you all a very happy and fulfilling end to your year. ~TMC-- A couple of months ago I noticed that my two sons, 18 months and 3 years, would go to their play area, dump all their toys into a large pile and then wander around the house looking for something to do. While they enjoyed dumping all the toys out of their boxes, it seemed to me that the pile then overwhelmed them. They couldn’t see the individual toys and couldn’t figure out what to play with. Likewise, it was difficult for them to put their own toys away, because, again, the pile was overwhelming.

I had heard of toy rotations before and have friends that do it, but I never thought it was for us. I didn’t think we had so many toys to warrant a toy rotation. But after many days of toy piles and bored children, I decided to give it a try.

After the kids had gone to bed, I went through all their toys and arranged them into categories. I decided on a few rough categories: thinking/logic (like puzzles and games), pretend play (toy food, cell phones, wallet, broom, etc), and toys that foster motor skills and active play (blocks, cars, balls, train set). My goal was to have 10 total toys out at a time. I chose a few things to stay out all the time. For me these were a set of blocks, a train set, and some accessories to our toy kitchen. I picked 2-3 toys from each category to be out at a time. I included groups of toys as “one” toy—so a small collection of cars or airplanes or a small box of pretend items (wallet, cellphone, broom) counted as one.

As I was categorizing I also noticed toys we had out that were either no longer played with (like baby toys) or that I didn’t like. I set these toys aside and either donated them or packed them up.

We ended up only having enough toys for two full rotations with a few extra items to mix things up a bit. Honestly, I was skeptical as to whether my kids would take to it or not. The first thing I noticed was that my children did not notice the missing toys. The second thing I noticed was that my children did not dump all the toys in a pile, but actually played with them! It was honestly surprising. After about a week, they were ready for a switch. But the longer we’ve been doing the rotation, they longer they seem to be happy with a set. I just switched toys today for the first time in two or three weeks. Another benefit I’ve seen is that I play with them more! I’m also less overwhelmed by the toys and am more likely to want to sit down and play with them (WITH the children!).

There are many blog posts on the internet about toy rotations, so you can get a lot of different ideas that might work for your family. I would encourage you to give it a try and see if it doesn’t bring a new perspective into your house. If it doesn’t, you can always go back!

Giveaway - A Light In The Night!

Okay... are you catching on to a schedule yet? We have been announcing new giveaways twice a month and we have zero plans to stop! If you haven't already subscribed to the blog, be sure to do so so you don't miss out on any of the fun! And if you are interested in donating any items for giveaways, contact us and let us know! Today's giveaway was a generous donation from a cafe mama: A Light in the Night!

Have you heard of A Light In The Night? It is the sweetest idea! Of course, it was created by a mom so it totally makes sense. This mom came up with the idea as she was moving her toddler to a big kid bed and he was getting scared at night. The kit comes with a little pal that lights up when you squeeze his belly, a Certificate of Bravery, and a story book to help introduce the idea to your toddler. Seriously! How adorable is this?!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

We will close the giveaway in ONE week, at 12:00am December 28th. The winner will be announced the morning of the 28th right here on the blog!

Recipe of the Week - Sante Fe Chicken

All busy parents adore their slow cookers for the benefit of producing delicious meals without having put forth very much effort. It's easy to get stuck in a rut with a slow cooker, so this take on a shedded Mexican chicken is delicious, especially when served over cilantro lime rice!

Crock Pot Santa Fe Chicken Servings: 8 24 oz (1 1/2) lbs chicken breast 14.4 oz can diced tomatoes with mild green chilies 15 oz can black beans 8 oz frozen corn 1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro 15oz chicken broth 3 scallions, chopped 1 tsp garlic powder 1 tsp onion powder 1 tsp cumin 1 tsp cayenne pepper (to taste) salt to taste Combine chicken broth, beans, corn, tomatoes, cilantro, scallions, garlic powder, onion powder, cumin, cayenne pepper and salt in the crock pot. Season chicken breast with salt and lay on top. Cook on low for 10 hours or on high for 6 hours. Half hour before serving, remove chicken and shred. Return chicken to slow cooker and stir in. Adjust salt and seasoning. Serve over rice -- see other recipe for delicious cilantro lime rice!

My take on Chipotle's Cilantro Lime Rice 1 cup extra long grain rice or basmati rice 1/2 lime, juice of 2 cups water 1 tsp salt 3 tbsp fresh chopped cilantro 3 tsp vegetable oil

In a small heavy pot, add rice, water, 1 tsp oil and salt. Boil on high until most of the water evaporates. When the water just skims the top of the rice, reduce to low and cover about 15 minutes. Shut off flame and keep covered an additional 5 minute.

In a medium bowl, combine chopped cilantro, lime juice, rice and remaining oil and toss until completely mixed.

Book Review: One Recumbent Mommy by Rachel Blumenthal

One of the things that drew me to The Motherhood Collective community last summer was the embracing of all mothers.  When you gather a community of women together, you are bound to come across different birth experiences, parenting styles, and overall philosophies.  The Motherhood Collective supports mothers.  In a culture that seems determined to divide women over their birth and parenting decisions, a community such as this is essential. When Rachel Blumenthal, author of One Recumbent Mommy: A Humorous Encounter with Bedrest approached me to review her book, I wanted to bring the review to this site.  Rachel is a Northern Virginia mom, like myself, with two young children.  After an uneventful first pregnancy, Rachel became pregnant again in July of 2008.  In November of that year, her 20 week ultrasound showed an incompetent cervix and Rachel began a 15.5 week hospital stay of strict bedrest.  One Recumbent Mommy tells the story of that time.

What drew me to Rachel's story is that there's not alot out there dealing with this topic.  There are shelves upon shelves of books covering the ups and downs of pregnancy along the What to Expect vein.  You probably have one or two of these books on your own bookshelf right now.  And for most women, these books are all that's ever needed. I was fortunate to have two uneventful pregnancies.  Many women are the same.   But for some, bedrest is a part of the pregnancy experience.  And for those, especially first-time mothers on bedrest who may not yet have a strong support network, it's nice to know that there are others out there who can empathize.

Rachel's book is actually the compilation of several months of blog posts, written during her hospital stay and beyond.  The tone is informal and candid.  Exclamation marks abound.  The topics discussed within the pages range from the mundane, such as her struggles with the hospital food service, to the serious, trying to keep her baby safe as the weeks stretch on.  Reading this book is, as you would then expect, like reading an online journal.  The voice is not that of an expert, it's that of a friend.

A book for every pregnant woman you know?  The ideal shower gift? Perhaps not.  But for those that find themselves unexpectedly in a bedrest situation, One Recumbent Mommy provides encouragement (and a happy ending).

Rachel hasn't forgotten the little ones, either. Wherever I Am, I Will Love You Still, illustrated by Juliette Kopp, is a companion picture book that shares the hospital bedrest experience through the eyes of a small child.  The language is simple, the tone positive, and the colors cheery.  Again, maybe not the first book you think of when preparing a young child for a new sibling, but most definitely fills a need for the young child that finds himself confused by his mother's sudden (and lengthy) absence.

Both books are available through Amazon and Rocket Science Productions, or at Rachel's own site, rachelblumenthalbooks.com.

Disclosure: I received a copy of both books for review.  No monetary compensation was received .  All thoughts and opinions are my own and do not necessarily reflect those of The Motherhood Collective.

Thriving on a Low-Budget Christmas

Happy December, Readers! Too often this month can become a frantic checklist of holiday planning, last minute shopping (or crafting), readying the house for guests, packing for travel, stressful eating and general busyness. Let's be honest, that is not a recipe for a calm and happy parent. This month we asked our writers to share some of their holiday plans, their reflections on the past year and their thoughts and goals for 2013. As 2012 closes, we are so thankful for the wonderful things that have happened at The Motherhood Collective over the past months. We wish you all a very happy and fulfilling end to your year. ~TMC-- This has been a rather challenging year for our family financially and as Christmas neared, I realized with sadness that we would not be able to spend virtually any money on gifts. We’re not a particularly materialistic family, but there is joy in watching others open your gifts and seeing how happy you’ve made them. Fortunately, the children were the least of my concern as the oldest is just 2 and the youngest only 6 months, too young to correlate Christmas with gift giving. However, we had hoped to watch Osias, our 2 year old, open something from us. He is, after all, old enough to at least open the presents and get excited about them. So this year we have decided to re-define “Re-Gifting”.

For the kids: Avia, our 6 month old, will not be receiving anything from us this year. Fortunately for us, she wouldn’t know one way or another anyway and I feel confident she’ll forgive us when she’s older and finds out her stocking was empty this year. For Osias, we’re using an old trick. About a month before Christmas, we packed away a bunch of fun toys that he loves and we’ll fill his stocking with them. I can’t wait to watch him pull each thing out of his stocking and see that adorable look of excitement (and recognition) at finding toys he hasn’t played with in so long! Whatever won’t fit in his stocking will be wrapped and placed under the tree (okay, on the floor since we’re skipping the tree this year).

For our parents and siblings: I love Pinterest, don’t you? I stumbled upon a DIY pin that instructed you how to make…well, let’s just say it’s a simple but useful gender neutral item that I can easily afford the material for (just in case any of our family are reading this, let’s keep it a surprise). So, for almost no money and just a few hours of my time, we are able to give to our parents and siblings as well this year. Aren’t homemade gifts often the best kind? I sure hope so for their sakes!

For each other: The idea for the kids, in addition to an article I read in an old December issue of Real Simple magazine (Susan Dominus. “Honey, guess what I got you for Christmas?” Real Simple December 2009: 254-255.), helped pave the way for what my husband and I would be doing for each other for Christmas. This year, in place of gifts, we’ve decided to write each other “Gift Certificates” for tasks that we know each other would appreciate. Doing chores, give a massage, etc. How nice is it to think, “I’d love to get out of cooking dinner tonight” and then realize that you have a gift certificate for that very thing! In addition to the gift certificates, we will also be stuffing each other’s stockings with items already in our home. Sounds lame, right? Actually it has been quite the fun and exciting experience to wander our house and come across little lost or forgotten items that I know he enjoys, or would make him laugh, or even bring back a fond memory. We happen to move frequently (especially in the past few years) and so much of our belongings have remained in boxes that we keep storing away. Let me tell you, that has been a gold mine for gifts! So far, I have found the little black jewelry box from Zales that I gave him his 2^nd wedding ring in (he lost his first in a waterfall of all places), a mini Maglite that has been missing for-ev-er, his old broken Blackberry that got lost in the move and still has all his photos on it, and some pictures I found of us from high school! Ha! I also plan to throw a piece of fruit in there along with one of my homemade sweet potato biscuits that he loves (wrapped of course). I feel confident that his stocking will be filled to the brim with thoughtfully selected gifts that will bring him laughter, gratitude, warm memories, and more. And all at no cost to our faltering budget.

To tell you the truth, I am really excited about how we will be spending (or not) Christmas this year! I expect these gifts to be just as fun if not more than in previous years! Who says you have to break the bank for Christmas?

Recipe of the Week - Secret Ingredient Chocolate Chip Peanut Butter Cookies

I have recently been intrigued by desserts based on pureed chickpeas. They taste good, they're relatively healthy and my kids like them. My husband likes them, too, especially if I don't say anything before he eats them! This recipe does require a food processor, but other than that, it's easier to do than a typical cookie recipe. They do have a slightly soft texture, but really do taste delicious. You could also use this unbaked for "truffles" or cookie dough dip!

1 can chickpeas, rinsed 2 teaspoons vanilla extract 1/2 cup plus 3 tablespoons natural peanut butter 1/4 - 1/3 cup honey (I used brown sugar for a more traditional taste. Plus I hoard my honey for tea and toast.) 1 teaspoon baking powder 1/2 cup chocolate chips

Place all ingredients except chocolate chips into the food processor.  Pulse until everything is smooth (about two minutes).  It will be very thick.  At this point I removed the dough to a bowl and folded in the chocolate chips.  You can also add the chocolate chips to the food processor and pulse a couple times.

Scoop teaspoonfuls onto a parchment-lined baking sheet and bake for 15-20 minutes in a 350 degree oven.  (I didn't line my baking sheet.  They stuck a little, but not so much that I couldn't get them off.  I immediately removed them to a cooling rack.)

Makes about 16 cookies.

Adapted from http://eatgood4life.blogspot.ca/2012/06/gluten-free-dark-chocolate-and-peanut.html.

Trust Your Gut

Permissive parenting, passive parenting, Attachment Parenting, Helicopter Parenting, free range parenting, main stream parenting, Intentional Parenting, Peaceful Parenting…yada, yada, yada!!  Then there is the advice of your mother, your mother-in-law, your sister, your sister-in-law, your boss, your BFF, your husband's boss's wife's cousin.   How in the world is one to choose which advice to follow?!

There are proclaimed experts in every area of parenting.  There is one (or many) in each school of thought.  There is a whole section on parenting in Barnes and Noble.  Thousands of pages, blogs, magazines and articles that specialize in telling us how to rear our children fill all of our media sources.  Parenting is big business!

So how does a newly pregnant woman go about narrowing what works and what doesn’t?  The answer is to read it all.  That’s right, read everything that you can get your hands on while you are pregnant.  Take information from all sources possible.  Listen to other mothers.  Sit in on cafes and small groups at The Motherhood Collective.  This is all very important information to gather, especially when your baby is easily contented with your avoidance of spicy foods and nourished from the umbilical cord.

As you start collecting this information, certain thoughts and ideas will begin resonating with you.  Certain parenting practices will just seem “right” to you.  You will get an idea of what to do when your little bundle of joy arrives.  You will get a gut instinct that will continue to develop as you develop as a mother.

So now your little newborn is here, and you want to know why the things you just knew you wanted to do with your baby aren’t working.  You have a whole arsenal of things to try.  The next step in developing your parenting skills is to stop reading those books and to start reading your baby.  Watch your baby’s cues and signals.  Determine your child’s rhythms and work with them.  All of those thoughts and words of wisdom that you have gained from your pre-baby preparation now need to be adapted to fit your baby’s personality.  I am here to tell you that no baby will fit inside one parenting book, but there are many ideas on parenting that will amalgamate with your baby’s personality.

You will, of course, continue to have questions throughout this crazy and fast journey of mothering.  Your baby will continue to develop and you will continue to adapt.  Continuing to grow and adjust are all part of this wonderful journey.  You are your baby's best mother.  You are also never alone.  Continue to seek advice of those other mothers and your trusted physicians; but more importantly, remember to trust your gut, listen to your instincts, and NEVER say never.

Celebrating the Holidays with Preschool Age Kids

Happy December, Readers! Too often this month can become a frantic checklist of holiday planning, last minute shopping (or crafting), readying the house for guests, packing for travel, stressful eating and general busyness. Let's be honest, that is not a recipe for a calm and happy parent. This month we asked our writers to share some of their holiday plans, their reflections on the past year and their thoughts and goals for 2013. As 2012 closes, we are so thankful for the wonderful things that have happened at The Motherhood Collective over the past months. We wish you all a very happy and fulfilling end to your year. ~TMC-- I love the holidays. I always have. However, as a mother it definitely presents an interesting challenge.

When my girls were in the infant/toddler phase of life, I had to figure out how to work naps and feedings around crazy travel schedules and countless parties. Even nursing habits had to get creative when we drove the four hours up to my parents’ house for Thanksgiving when my oldest was just three weeks old.

Now that my girls are in the preschool age group, those challenges are a thing of the past. However, as they grow older I am presented with new challenges during the holidays. Things like, how do I help them focus on what really matters rather than the crazy dash for “more” and self-focus that can overwhelm the best of us this time of year? While I am still learning how to help develop their little characters, I have found a few things that have helped both them (and us) focus on what really matters.

Experiences, over stuff. This is something that is so important to my husband and me. We want our children to value people, relationships and experiences over simply, more stuff. One of the ways we have incorporated this value into our Christmas celebrations is by using an Advent calendar. You can find these all over the place or simply make your own. While some families use this to give a little gift each day, we focuse on daily experiences. Each day has a slip of paper with a special activity to do that day. While these are often holiday activities we would do anyway (decorate cookies, drive around looking at lights, have dinner with the grandparents), using the Advent calendar makes them into something special and has really helped us to celebrate the small moments in life.

Giving, over getting. Another thing we try to do with our children is focus on the act of giving, rather than getting. While we do help our children make a list of what they want to get for Christmas, we also help them making shopping lists. We ask them who they want to buy gifts for and help them think through what they want to buy each person. We help them purchase, make, or bake gifts for special people in their lives and talk about how much fun it will be to GIVE the gifts. When we open gifts, it’s about whose turn it is to give out their gifts rather than whose turn it is to open one. This is something my parents started with me as a child, and to this day, I love this part of Christmas. There is nothing like watching as someone opens a gift you have carefully selected for them. Because of this we open gifts one by one and make sure a sincere thank you is said before moving on to the next one.

As an adult, my favorite parts of Christmas are being with family and celebrating small moments. I sincerely hope to instill these in my children and would love to hear what YOU all are doing with your little ones to help them grasp these concepts.