As the year comes to a close I find myself trying to take time to stop and find some quiet. December can be a crazy time for our family. The holidays always hold their own level of busyness. On top of that we have two little girls and a plethora of school activities, the last push at my husband’s work to make end of year sales numbers, and finishing up Christmas orders for my shop. But in the midst of all of it, I find myself craving some downtime to sit and reflect. To truly processes through what this past year has brought us.
We have been through a miscarriage, celebrated 6 years of marriage, started our oldest in pre-school, celebrated one year of my husband’s new job, grown my business, and I started writing again. It has definitely been a year of changes for us. It has been a year of letting-go of expectations and learning to simply be. To live with the dozens of questions that have filled our life. Living with the questions has never been my strong point. I like answers. Not questions. And yet, as I have given myself into living the questions, I have found a side of myself I thought I lost. As I have faced some of the most painful experiences of my life, I have found comfort in women I did not expect.
If 2012 has been a year of questions, it would be easy to say that I would like 2013 to be a year of answers. I am not sure how practical that is. So my goals for the next few months are to find more peace with the questions. To rest in the unknown and trust my gut. To let go of my expectations and allow myself to embrace the reality. To show more grace to other and myself. To search for what I have in common with other moms, rather than what makes us different. To continue to build relationships with whomever crosses my path, whether expected or sought after. To allow who I am to continue to grow and blossom. To remember who I want to be, not just for me, but for my daughters. A woman who rests, laughs, loves, plays, thinks, reflects, and offers unconditional grace.