Tips for Surviving the Holidays from Some Wise Voices

Last month our writers shared some of their holiday traditions and plans for the upcoming season. In November, we continue our conversation about holidays. How do we juggle visitors, travel with small children, eat well amidst all that delicious food and most importantly, take time to just BREATHE? This time of year can very quickly become stressful, so we hope our writers' words this month will give you a few moments to slow down, think about how you're spending your energy and encourage you during this busy, but wonderful time of year. ~TMC I always feel as if Halloween kicks off the holiday season.  My husband has his birthday November 1st and with that, we're off!  Thanksgiving, then my son's birthday, then Christmas and New Year's,  and suddenly it's January and I'm wondering what happened to the last two months.

The holiday season is a time for family, friends, memory-making and lots of magical sparkle.  But it can also be a time of craziness, stress, and disagreement.  Blending traditions can be challenging, as can traveling with young children, meeting expectations, and trying to complete all the extra holiday tasks on top of our already busy schedules.

Here, then, are three reminders for how to survive the holiday season, provided by some folks you might know.

“Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.” ― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

Have patience.  With others, but also with yourself.  It's okay to strive for those idyllic memories, but remember that you have a lifetime to create memories. Not every one has to be created this year.  Want to start a new tradition?  Fantastic!  Pick one (two if you're really ambitious) and run with it.  Addicted to Pinterest?  Yeah.  Me too.  But don't feel pressured to complete every amazing project you pin.  Focus on a manageable amount, and save the rest for another year.

“A little nonsense now and then, is cherished by the wisest men.” ― Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator

Take time to play.  Yes, there's a never ending list of gifts to buy, food to make, events to organize.  But also take time to take winter walks, or drive around in your pajamas to look at holiday lights, or have dance parties in the living room.  Not only do these provide a good mental break (and no extra planning!), but they're also going to be a part of those holiday memories you want to create.

 "Marilla, isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?" - Lucy Maud Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

Be forgiving.  Know this: things are going to go wrong.  A new recipe will fall flat.  A child will suffer some sort of facial injury the day before family pictures (mine seems to do it every year).  You will misplace a wrapped gift (also seems to be a tradition in our household).  Forgive yourself!  One of two things will happen: it will either be a mistake that's forgotten in a short time, or it will become one of those family stories that's passed around the table for the next 25 years, but shared among folks who love you-- holiday catastrophes and all.  Lock yourself in the bathroom, have a cry, and then jump back in to the game.

Listen, I know it's all easier said than done.  I've had my share of holiday drama, and will likely have more this year.  I'll be checking back on this post as a reminder, too.  But one of the best things about motherhood is knowing that there's a whole legion of women out there who "get it".  So take comfort during the frustrating moments, and celebrate the joyous ones.

A happy holiday season to you all!

Instagram Round-Up | October

Much fun was had this October as we discussed traditions both here on the blog and at our regular get togethers! Between crafting, costumes, and sharing traditions and recipes, we had a busy month here at the Motherhood Collective!

The 2nd Monday of the month we gathered together and listened to one mom's experience with Baby Led Weaning. Recipes were shared and questions were asked. Did you miss it? Check out the following resources our speaker suggested:

• Baby Led Weaning facebook group
• Baby Led Weaning website

The 4th Monday of the month we gathered together to make pomanders and share our family traditions, round-table style! In case you couldn't be there to hear our many mamas share their family traditions, here are a few blog posts we posted this month about holiday traditions:

• Kan Traditions
• Christmas Tree Hunting
• Consider Your Holidays
• Holiday Traditions: Books Provided, Just Add Hot Chocolate And A Cozy Blanket
• Whose Traditions?

As always, our leadership team gathered together a handful of times to brainstorm ideas, check items off their to-do lists, and encourage one another in this balancing act of motherhood.

We are so thankful for all the sweet mamas who share here on the blog, join us at our activities, and volunteer to help make it all happen! We love this community so very much.

Here's to a great November!

Recipe of the Week - Lasagna Soup

I first made this soup last winter and it was such a hit with the family that it's become a regular rotation. The soup really tastes like lasagna! My husband wasn't sure about it when he tried the soup alone but when you combine it with the "cheesy yum" it really pulls together and tastes like its namesake. The soup easily adapts to changes, and I've included some of my previous alterations in {} based on what I had on hand and what I could find locally at the time. I have a hard time getting my daughter to eat most meat, but have recently learned that she loves spaghetti, so this is a great way to get a little extra protein in her diet. Serve with some crusty bread for dipping, and enjoy!

For the Soup: 2 tsp. olive oil 1-1/2 lbs. Italian sausage {I used ground beef and ground pork with no ill affects on flavor} 3 c. chopped onions 4 garlic cloves, minced 2 tsp. dried oregano 1/2 tsp. crushed red pepper flakes 2 T. tomato paste 1 28-oz. can fire roasted diced tomatoes {I've used basil, oregano, garlic tomatoes; or home canned tomatoes with extra herbs} 2 bay leaves 6 c. chicken stock 8 oz. mafalda or fusilli pasta {I've used a variety of spiral and medium shells, we actually prefer the shells because they "cup" the liquid} 1/2 c. finely chopped fresh basil leaves salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste

for the cheesy yum: 8 oz. ricotta 1/2 c. grated Parmesan cheese {Asiago works well too!} 1/4 tsp. salt pinch of freshly ground pepper

2 c. shredded mozzarella cheese {even without mozzarella, it's delicious}

Heat olive oil in a large pot over medium heat. Add sausage, breaking up into bite sized pieces, and brown for about 5 minutes. Add onions and cook until softened, about 6 minutes. Add garlic, oregano, and red pepper flakes. Cook for 1 minute. Add tomato paste and stir well to incorporate. Cook for 3 to 4 minutes, or until the tomato paste turns a rusty brown color.

Add diced tomatoes, bay leaves, and chicken stock. Stir to combine. Bring to a boil and then reduce heat and simmer for 30 minutes. Add uncooked pasta and cook until al dente. Do not over cook or let soup simmer for a long period of time at this point, as the pasta will get mushy. Stir in basil and season to taste with salt and freshly ground black pepper.

While the pasta is cooking, prepare the cheesy yum. In a small bowl, combine the ricotta, Parmesan, salt, and pepper.

To serve, place a dollop of the cheesy yum in each soup bowl, sprinkle some of the mozzarella on top and ladle the hot soup over the cheese.

Servings: 8

Recipe source: http://www.afarmgirlsdabbles.com/2011/03/24/lasagna-soup/

Salad Bar Parenting: The Beauty of Bananas

Salad Bar Parenting: A buffet of ideas, practices and products loved by a Motherhood Collective Mom. Depending on your season of parenthood or mothering philosophies, you may pile on what works for you or pass the salad tongs to the next Mom. ~TMC As our little one transitioned from exclusively "milk" fed into solid foods, I explored the world of homemade babyfood. Creating healthy and wholesome meals for my babe inadvertently led to my husband and I eating more fresh produce and fewer processed foods. The biggest discovery for our family was the beauty (and versatility) of bananas.

This yellow super-fruit is often a baby's first introduction into the world of food. It was usually the only fruit that lived in our junk food-filled house when we were newlyweds. Now that I know better, I sneak it into as many things as possible.

Mashed bananas are the perfect sweet addition (or substitute) for pancakes, muffins, and cookies. Cut up bananas are amazing on peanut butter sandwiches and cereal. But have you ever eaten a frozen banana? Frozen bananas are an amazing popsicle substitute if your kids love ice cream on a stick. (Frozen bananas are also the perfect soother for teething babes).

My favorite method of daily consumption of my yellow friend is in the form of smoothies. I cut up 4 - 5 bananas in a container and stick it into the freezer for at least 5 hours. It takes about 1.5 - 2 bananas to make a serving that satisfies a grown up with a sweet tooth. If we're enjoying a smoothie in the morning, I add spinach and almond butter with skim milk. If we're enjoying a smoothie at night instead of going out to get FroYo, we crush M&Ms or Oreos and make a Blizzard. We've saved money and calories with these frozen concoctions and I'm certain we're the skinnier for it.

Kan Traditions

With the changing leaves and falling temperatures, there's no doubt that fall is here! As mothers, we always try to stay a step ahead of the chaos and this month we're taking some time to share our thoughts on holiday celebrations, family traditions and maybe some new ideas about how to enjoy the upcoming season. So grab that cup of cinnamon-spiced coffee, prop your feet up on a pumpkin and enjoy what our writers have to say this month. ~TMC My husband and I have enjoyed establishing our family and getting to talk about different traditions we bring from each side, as well as what new traditions we want to begin with our children.  There are two main activities we have decided to make a part of every Christmas celebration.

1. The Advent Calendar

The Advent Calendar is something that neither of our families ever used growing up, but Andy and I have enjoyed making it a part of our Christmas the last two years.  There are so many you can choose from.  I opted for making ours.  I sewed 24 draw-string fabric pouches to allow myself plenty of variety.  I also made 24 magnets with different Bible passages that together tell the Christmas story.  Every year, I also buy 24 little treats.  So far, I’ve only used candy, but since Gabriel will be old enough to enjoy opening the pouches this year, I’m also going to include little gifts for him—stickers, balls, homemade treats.  Every morning, starting December 1^st, we go to the basket with the pouches.  We take the pouch for the day, open it, read the passage from the Christmas Story, place it on the fridge, and enjoy the little “treat.” It’s a very small part of our day, but it’s a neat way to make the Christmas joy last longer.  We enjoy a little gift each day, while remembering the greatest gift in our lives, as well as so many blessings we can’t even name them.  I hope this is something we continue every year with Gabriel—that he will look forward to that anticipation that is so precious in children, and that we as adults tend to forget sometimes.  Hope is a beautiful virtue that we can instill in our children, and when we hope in truth, it will never disappoint.

2. Get a gift, give a gift.

Another tradition that we hope to establish once Gabriel becomes more understanding of his possessions is to have him choose a toy to give away at every birthday and Christmas.  We hope to find an orphanage, toy drive, or other donation means by which our children can learn the joy of giving to others in need.  For adults, we have so many means by which to give—finances, time, a meal from our kitchen.  For children, they really only have the gifts they receive as a means to give in return.  We hope to encourage our children to choose one gift to give away every holiday.  We would love to even encourage sacrificial giving—maybe even a favorite toy, or one that we know a child in need would really enjoy.  We hope this will help balance the mentality of only “getting.” This will also help cut out all that accumulation as well J.

We’re still adding to our list of traditions!  What ways are you intentional during the holiday season?

Giving Thanks

With the changing leaves and falling temperatures, there's no doubt that fall is here! As mothers, we always try to stay a step ahead of the chaos and this month we're taking some time to share our thoughts on holiday celebrations, family traditions and maybe some new ideas about how to enjoy the upcoming season. So grab that cup of cinnamon-spiced coffee, prop your feet up on a pumpkin and enjoy what our writers have to say this month. ~TMC It’s October, which means November is just around the corner.  November, the month of my favorite holiday: Thanksgiving.  To me, the holiday evokes feelings of warmth, security, and comfort.  Friends and family gathered around the table, laughing, chiding, enjoying the harvest’s bounty.  Yes, it’s my favorite holiday.  Whether we’re in North Carolina with my family, or at the Isle of Palms with my husband’s family – it is definitely my favorite day of the year.

I can’t help but ponder how this year will work out -

A little background: my father was diagnosed with bladder cancer nearly four years ago.   After three and a half years of “taking it easy” (in the scheme of cancer treatment options), his doctors had a wake up call this year: old tumors, thought to have been thwarted by previous, localized treatments, were becoming more aggressive and reappearing with too much frequency.  Then came the news that tumors were developing in my father’s ureter, and possibly, a kidney (upon being scoped, his ureter was too full of tumors to properly view the kidney).  And so, this summer my father embarked upon chemotherapy.  Watching him come through his treatments has been astounding.  Per his request, my family continued the annual camping trip in the North Carolina mountains.  Looking at my father, you’d never know he left the camping trip mid-week to journey to UNC for his chemotherapy, and return for the Grandfather Mountain Highland Games.  In the past week, we've received the finalized dates for his cystotomy (bladder removal), with the possibility of a nephrectomoy and prostatectomy (kidney and prostate removal) – scheduled the week of Thanksgiving.

How fitting, I muse, that this surgery is scheduled the week in which we celebrate giving thanks.  I am so thankful to this man, who raised me, and provided me with so many memories.  I was most definitely a “Daddy’s girl,” and many childhood memories evolve around him.  Simple memories – riding in his truck, oldies on the radio, singing, while doing such mundane chores as taking trash to the landfill – evoke feelings of love and comfort.  For me, one of the hardest adjustments to adulthood, has been living away from my father.  Communicating has been difficult, as he is not much of a phone talker (unlike my mother), and so phone conversations seem lackluster.  In his presence though, words don’t have to be said – simply sitting alongside him is enough.  He has been strong, steadfast, since his diagnosis.  Determined to fight, I have been amazed by his strength and attitude.  I sit and ponder, thinking.  My father is amazing. I hope my daughter has that attitude towards her father.

The father-daughter bond is something special to behold.  While for a long time (seemingly, forever) my daughter wouldn't let me out of her sight. Now at 17 months old, it’s wonderful to my husband and her together: her excitement at his arrival at home after work, the happiness she gets from a “pony ride” on her daddy, watching her take his hand and insisting he walk with her.  These special moments are forming the bond that will last a lifetime.  It is certainly a wonderful thing to watch and be thankful for.

Recipe of the Week - Sweet Potato Biscuits

In our house, we thank God for our daily sweet potatoes.  They have become such a staple, not only because of their awesome nutritional value, but because they’re just plain scrumptious and versatile.  I was thrilled when I came across a Sweet Potato Biscuit recipe by Martha Stewart.  I have no doubt that the great Martha’s recipe is delicious, but I immediately set to work modifying it.  I am allergic to milk, so we couldn’t use cow’s milk and butter.  We’ve also cut out refined flours and sugars at our house, so I knew I would want to substitute the flour and sugar it called for.  The recipe below is the first batch I tried with all the changes.  They turned out perfectly—I think the moistness of the sweet potatoes makes them pretty fool-proof, so feel free to experiment!  They are now vegan, amazing, and a weekly occurrence.  To elevate them even more, serve them with honey or apple butter!

 Sweet Potato Biscuits

1 pound sweet potatoes

2½ cups white whole wheat 4 teaspoons baking powder 1 teaspoon salt ¼ teaspoon cayenne pepper 8 tablespoons (1 stick) unsalted butter, chilled [To make this vegan, I use soy free earth balance spread.] 2 tablespoons honey ¼ cup milk [I use coconut milk.]

1. Heat oven to 400.  Peel sweet potatoes, roughly chop , and steam in rice cooker.  You could also prick with a fork, bake until done, and scoop out the flesh.  You should have about 11/4 cups of puree.
2. In a mixing bowl, combine the dry ingredients.  Cut in butter until mixture resembles coarse meal.
3. In another bowl, whisk together milk, honey, and sweet-potato puree.  Add to dry ingredients, and mix until well combined.
4. Place dough on lightly floured board, knead once or twice, and pat out to ½ inch thick.  Cut out biscuits with a floured 2-inch-round cutter (I have a specific drinking glass that works well for this). Bake on parchment-lined baking sheet for about 20+ minutes, or until golden brown.
5. Eat half of them immediately.  Quickly!  Before anyone else comes in the room.

If you have a favorite recipe you'd like to share with our readers, please submit it here or email us at: submissions@themotherhoodcollective.org

Chicken and Children: My Thoughts on Free-Range

So what do chickens and children have in common, you ask?  Well, simply put, I want to allow my egg-laying friends and boundary-pushing offspring the freedom to roam.  That is the simple answer to that question. The complex answer involves:

- What freedoms do I give?

- At what ages are those freedoms given?

- How much do I assist?

- How much frustration do I allow?

- Where do I allow my children to roam about freely?

Free-range parenting is actually quite a complex parenting philosophy.  It goes well beyond the area of play in our household.  The idea of free-range parenting involves A LOT of trust and respect on the shoulders of both parents and children.  My children are two years old and seven months old.  Their freedoms and boundaries may look very different than what you offer to your children, but the idea is the same.  Other things that may cause variations besides ages are: the area in which you live, access to outside spaces, child safe zones in your house and your child’s physical ability.

Here is what free-range may involve in our house on any given day:

- allowing my 2 year old to play by himself in a designated area outside

- allowing my 7 month old a safe area in the floor with toys within reach, but not directly in his hands so that he discover the way his own body moves

- not helping my 2 year old cross the monkeybars at a playground before he is physically capable to accomplish this task on his own

- not placing my 7 month old in assisted sitting devices such as a Bumbo seat

- allowing my 2 year old to go out of my sight when in a safe outside area for short periods of time

- respecting as many “noes” as I can when safety is not an issue

- asking my children if they want my help before jumping in when they are frustrated with learning a new task

These are just a few scenarios where we try to allow our children freedom to discover their own personal capabilities, teach respect for boundaries and learn to trust.

Each of us has a small voice inside our heads that tells us if we are capable of accomplishing a task.  Sometimes, we may be fearful of the task ahead or excited by it; but we are the only ones who can determine our capability to do the task.  That little voice is the voice that we learn to trust.  As an adult, I call this my instinct.  If we, as parents, continually hover over our children, extinguish their “attempts” by telling them they can’t do something or even give them a false sense of security by helping them do a task that they are not physically ready for; then we suppress their ability to trust that instinct.  Once we lose the connection with what we can and cannot accomplish, our performance declines and our built-in safety net disappears.

Now, I am like every other mother.  I want to protect my children from all things harmful.  I can guarantee if you do some of these things, your children will incur a few bumps and bruises.  There will be some minor accidents.  I feel as long as the risk is small and the bumps are minor, then the lesson learned is a valuable experience.  This has been something that has taken time for me to become comfortable with.  If I can build this trust early on, I will be able to trust my children's decision-making later on in life.  They will also be more confident in to make their decisions!  After all, who doesn’t want a confident child that you can trust?

Christmas Tree Hunting

With the changing leaves and falling temperatures, there's no doubt that fall is here! As mothers, we always try to stay a step ahead of the chaos and this month we're taking some time to share our thoughts on holiday celebrations, family traditions and maybe some new ideas about how to enjoy the upcoming season. So grab that cup of cinnamon-spiced coffee, prop your feet up on a pumpkin and enjoy what our writers have to say this month. ~TMC

For as long as I’ve known them, my husband’s family has had the tradition of gathering together the day after Thanksgiving to go Christmas tree hunting. That is, to go to a tree farm and cut down their own Christmas tree. The word family in this instance includes his parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, and cousins. I have always looked forward to this day, even when we were dating! Since we've been married it's been fun watching our group grow. We now have new cousins, a brother and sisters-in-laws and a nephew to add to the list (as well as our own children). Instead of cutting one tree for the Guelzo family as in years' past, he and his three siblings are cutting their own tree for their own families and children. In more recent years, we have added eating breakfast together to our yearly ritual, as well as frequenting the same location, Piney Mountain Christmas Tree Farm in Appomattox, VA.

It's been fun traveling down memory lane looking through some of our old photos.

(See how many times I've worn the same white scarf!)

2006

Our second year as a married couple. As you can see, my husband was still in shock that

he was able to snag me as his wife.

2007

At our favorite breakfast joint, "Granny Bee's", also located in Appomattox.

It is said that Ben Franklin wrote, "Keep your eyes wide open before marriage and half shut afterwards."

Seems Jeremiah is taking this advice one step further.

2008

Our first year that we would be displaying our tree in our house, not apartment. Our last year with no children.

We would find out we were pregnant with our son a month or so later.

2009

With our son, Ian, who was just shy of three months old.

2010

We thought we had fun before, but having Ian able to help pick out our tree that year was the best!

2011

Last year I was 16 weeks pregnant with our sweet daughter, Miriam. At this point, we weren't even aware we were having a girl.

I am so excited to be able to carry on this tradition with our children over the years (and hopefully grandchildren too!) Singing Christmas songs in the car on the way up; the smell of pine once we arrive; "oooing and ahhhhing" over everyone's picks; having a tummy full of hashbrowns, eggs, grits and coffee; the laughter and hugs and smiles and reminiscing about years' past. I can't wait to see what the hunt of 2012 will bring!

The Act of Nursing

I’m a formula feeding mom. Not by my mind’s choice, but my body’s. Most days I really don’t think twice about it.  I don’t feel sad. I don’t feel guilty.  I just shake up a bottle, hold my little one close and watch her drink up like it’s nectar straight from heaven.

Last night though, she caught her brother’s cold. She couldn’t breathe; she couldn’t sleep. Thoughts of guilt started setting in. If only I could of breastfeed, she wouldn’t be sick.  She would be getting all of the garlic and vitamin C I had been downing over the last few days.  If I could nurse her, she would be comforted, she could be lulled back to sleep. For a moment, I felt helpless and a bit jilted. But then I remembered, I may not have milk, but I’m her mama. Nursing is not the only way my body was designed to comfort. I picked up her sniffling, crying body and wrapped it up in her soft cotton “baba”. I held her close while I swayed back and forth, pacing the floor. I sang and “shhhhhed” right next to her little ear, feeling her sweet wispy hair on my cheek. I drank in her scent and hoped she was doing the same of me. She relaxed and stopped crying. I sat down and rocked her and held her up against the left side of my chest so she could hear my heart beating. I squeezed her deliciously chubby thighs and patted her back and listened to her breath become slower and more calm.  First rest, then sleep, then deep slumber. I had done it.

I prayed for strength and patience, knowing that this routine would be deja vu at 11pm, 2am, 4am and so on. I didn't mind.

Early the next morning, I curiously looked up the definition of the word nurse. Over one hundred years ago, Florence Nightingale defined it as “the act of utilizing the environment of the patient to assist him in his recovery.” I smiled knowing I had not breastfed my baby, but I had nursed.

Recipe of the Week - White Chocolate Snack Mix

Making this "snack mix" at Christmas time has become a tradition in my extended family. We also call it "Christmas Crack" because it is addictive! I don't even like white chocolate and I could eat a whole recipe of this! After our children were born, my husband decided that we should call it "Christmas Snack" instead of "Christmas Crack." You can decide for yourself what you'd like to call it. Buy red and green M&Ms to make it more Christmas-y. You can also dye the melted white chocolate with food coloring if you like. Work quickly. The white chocolate cools and hardens in a short amount of time. 10 oz mini pretzels 5 cups cheerios 5 cups corn chex 2 cups salted peanuts 14 oz M&Ms 2 11 oz packages of white chocolate chips 3 T vegetable oil

Line three baking sheets with waxed paper. (You can also tape a long piece of waxed paper to the counter or your dining room table. It's easier to work with this way.) In a large bowl combine all ingredients except white chocolate chips and oil. Heat white chocolate chips and oil in the microwave on medium-high for two minutes, stirring once. Microwave on high for 10 seconds. Stir until smooth. Pour over cereal and mix well. Spread onto prepared sheets. Allow to cool and then break apart and store in airtight containers.

Recipe and photo from allrecipes.com.

If you have a favorite recipe you'd like to share with our readers, please submit it here or email us at submissions@themotherhoodcollective.org

Kanned Goods: DIY Fall Wreath

Fall comes around, and I once again find myself in the mood to make (yet another) wreath.  There’s something about the approach of the holiday season that needs to be met with festivity right at the entrance of my home. I have been very “fabricky” in my crafts the last few months, so I decided to use some of those scraps and make fabric flowers.  I do love the beautiful oranges, yellows, and reds of the autumnal season, but this time I went with deep maroons and purples.  I wanted the wreath to flow with the greens and pinks of my living room.  I used a giant raffia bow I made to add a fallish look.

You can find a million DIY on the internet for making these flowers, but I thought I would include the instructions just for the fun of it!  The best part about this wreath?  Only took me half of a morning nap to complete.

You will need:

Wreath Fabric Scraps (I used a combination of cotton, canvas, and wool) Felt circles—they can be any color as they won’t be seen, cut smaller than the flowers you’ll be making.  Confession?  Mine weren’t really circles.  Just free-hand shapes. Hot Glue Gun Miscellaneous embellishments—I used a raffia bow and a homemade banner (pictured at end of post)

1. Plug in your hot glue gun so it can begin heating up.
2. Cut scraps of fabric about 1 ½ inches wide by however long you want (at least 18 inches).  Confession?  I just made a nitch at the top of the fabric and tore the strips.  They won’t stay perfect, but it adds to the scrappiness of the flower.  You can see I thought I would only want a neutral wreath (I love beiges way too much), but I was having so much fun that I ran to the closet for more fabrics!
3. Make a knot in one end of the fabric piece.
4. Holding the knot in your left hand, begin spinning the rest of the piece around the knot, fairly tightly, keeping the knot centered.  You will begin to see the flower take shape.  If you want, give the fabric piece a twist now and then, to add extra dimension.  When you get to the end of the piece, tuck it underneath.
5. Grab a felt circle, put some glue on it, and place the bottom of the flower on top, and press firmly.



6. That’s it!  Truly.  Assemble all your flowers, and begin arranging them and gluing them onto your wreath.



7. I had so much fun with this, and when I was finished, I loved the look of it on my door!

I still didn’t feel like it had a super autumnal look, so I cut some freehand pendants out of canvas, wrote letters on them with a fabric marker, and glued it to some twine.  Now we have a beautiful reminder of this holiday season, every time we come home!

Consider Your Holidays

With the changing leaves and falling temperatures, there's no doubt that fall is here! As mothers, we always try to stay a step ahead of the chaos and this month we're taking some time to share our thoughts on holiday celebrations, family traditions and maybe some new ideas about how to enjoy the upcoming season. So grab that cup of cinnamon-spiced coffee, prop your feet up on a pumpkin and enjoy what our writers have to say this month. ~TMC  

The holidays can be such a hectic time and we as mothers shoulder much of the responsibility for decorating, baking, shopping, costume-making, hostessing, among many other things. We are goaded by commercials and sale papers to buy, buy, buy to make the perfect house and have happy children. We walk into stores and are bombarded by sales encouraging us to buy generic gifts that no one needs or just one more cute decoration we never knew we needed. We spend money we don’t have, use time we don’t have and end up feeling burnt out and unable to really enjoy and rest.

I would encourage you to think about all the things you tend to do for various holidays. Then think about what each of those holidays actually means to you. What you are trying to communicate to your family through all the activities you do? Does decorating make you feel invigorated and your family feel blessed? Then do it! Is it a burden to you that makes you feel overwhelmed? Then don’t feel obligated to do it or do less. Does the idea of making another Thanksgiving turkey give you a panic attack? Then ditch it and make something you enjoy making that your family enjoys eating!

Build in time to be with your family and friends to reflect on what each holiday really means to you. Find activities that point your children to the meaning of the holiday and encourages giving and generosity and a focus on others. Last year our family began using a Jesse tree as an advent activity. Each day for the month leading up to Christmas, we read a different Bible passage related to the coming of Christ and hung an ornament on the tree that stands for that passage. It was a great way to keep us centered on the true meaning and doing it each day provided a built in time for reflection, a moment of rest, as well as time together.

Simplifying your holiday activities to ones that really mean something to you and are a blessing to your family help to make the time more meaningful, reflective and restful—as it is meant to be!

Recipe of the Week - Savory Homemade Brunswick Stew

Autumn beckons, and for me that's soup season. This recipe is a winner for us because it's very flavorful, reasonably healthy, and makes a HUGE amount for delicious leftovers which somehow taste even better when reheated! Our version is based on a recipe from Southern Living magazine years ago, but with lots of tweaks over the time we've been making it. Feel free to customize it yourself and call it your own. This makes anywhere from 8 to 16 servings depending on how hungry everyone is!

1 whole chicken (small to medium size is good, say 3-4 lbs) 1 large onion, diced 2 green bell peppers, chopped 1.5 Tbs olive oil 1 large (28 oz) can and 1 small (15 oz) can of whole peeled tomatoes, undrained, coarsely chopped (I use kitchen shears to snip them up while still in the can to save some mess) 1 small (8 oz.) can tomato sauce 1/4 cup sugar 3 Tbs white vinegar 2 Tbs Worcestershire sauce 2 Tbs all-purpose flour 1.5 lb. white or red potatoes, peeled and cubed 1 tablespoon Cholula or similar hot sauce (if you like it spicy, add more!) 1.5 teaspoons salt 1/2 teaspoon ground turmeric (Don't skip this! And watch out because it'll dye your wooden spoons yellow.) 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper 16 oz. frozen or canned corn, drained 16 oz. frozen or canned lima beans, drained

Instructions:

1. Rinse the chicken and remove any giblets, etc. Place in a deep pot and cover with water. Boil for 45 minutes or until done.
2. Remove chicken from broth and place on a plate to cool. Allow the broth to return to a boil over medium to low heat, and let it cook down until it is quite concentrated, boiled down to about two cups.
3. Skin, bone, and chop chicken. Don't chop it up too small or it will all disintegrate later when reheated. One inch cubes are good.
4. Cook the onion and bell pepper in the oil in the bottom of a large soup pot (this is a great recipe for a big enameled cast-iron pot if you have one, but any large pot will do, really, even the one you boiled the chicken in). When softened, add the chopped cooked chicken, both undrained cans of tomatoes, the tomato sauce, sugar, vinegar and Worcestershire sauce.
5. Carefully scoop about 1/2 a cup of your reduced chicken broth from the pot it's been simmering in, into a glass measuring cup. Add the flour and whisk until smooth. Stir into the chicken mixture. If there are a few lumps, don't worry, just stir things around and it will incorporate.
6. Add the rest of the reduced chicken broth, as well as the potatoes, hot sauce, salt, turmeric, and pepper.
7. Cover and cook over medium heat until the potatoes are fork-tender. This can take anywhere from 20-40 minutes depending on your potatoes. When this is done and you are about 10 minutes away from serving, add the drained corn and lima beans, and continue to cook for the remaining 10 minutes or so. This is fairly forgiving if you need to leave it on the stove on low for a bit.

Serve over rice or with warm crusty bread.

Again, this reheats beautifully. We have frozen single servings of it to have as a quick go-to meal for later, and it's one of my favorite things to see a stack of these in the freezer!

If you have a favorite recipe you'd like to share with our readers, please submit it here or email us at: submissions@themotherhoodcollective.org

Dreaming of Sleep

Sleep issues are a big deal in our house.  Our first child has had a difficult time sleeping since day 1.  Maybe you can relate.  I could give you the background, but the general idea is that he is 22 months old, and I have haven’t slept through one straight night since he was born.  Some of you are in shock right now.

Sleep can fall under one of the controversial categories in the realm of parenting.  My husband and I agreed early on that we wanted to respect our children’s needs in the way that felt most natural to us.  We opted to never choose to allow our children to Cry It Out alone when dealing with sleep.  I feel that a child will learn to sleep through the night when they are developmentally ready.  Not everyone agrees with me, and that is perfectly fine.  This is how we have chosen to parent our children.  I truly believe there are a million ways to raise a child.  What works for one family may not work for another, and what works for one child may not work for another.

Way back when he was around 3 or 4 months old, I read The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley.  It is a fabulous book on sleep that didn’t really work for us.  One thing she wrote in the book is, “You can either have tears or take time.”  We have chosen the time route.  Well, I’m here to tell you that the time route can take its toll on a mama.  But nevertheless, we have stayed the course.

Some things we have worked through are bedsharing versus cosleeping; tandem nursing; night nursing; differing schedules; nursing to sleep; night terrors and nightmares; schedules versus routines versus child cues; and crazy nap habits.  Maybe some of you have had to work through one or all of these topics.  Maybe some of you can’t relate at all.  Maybe some of you are so sleep deprived that you can’t even read the words on this page.  I wish I could write that I have all of the answers, but I don’t.

What I do have is a few great resources to give you.

The first one is a book, Sleepless in America:  Is Your Child Misbehaving or Missing Sleep by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka.  I have found this book to be fantastic.  While other sleep books have been very helpful, most only cover the topic of the newborn or infant period.  Kurcinka covers so much more.  I highly recommend this book for any parent dealing with sleep issues, behavioral issues, grade issues or just issues in general.

Another good book is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Weissbluth.  Now while I don’t ascribe to his every theory, he has a wide array of advice for many different parenting styles.

And when all else fails, come up with a good list of things to do when you are up all of those extra hours.  A good friend of mine wrote a great post about it here.  I have done quite a few interesting things in the middle of the night while waiting for certain little people to go back to sleep.  Unfortunately, I am so sleep deprived that I can’t really remember what most of them are.

What are some things that keep you going through the constant haze of sleepless nights?

Holiday Traditions: Books Provided, Just Add Hot Chocolate and Cozy Blanket

With the changing leaves and falling temperatures, there's no doubt that fall is here! As mothers, we always try to stay a step ahead of the chaos and this month we're taking some time to share our thoughts on holiday celebrations, family traditions and maybe some new ideas about how to enjoy the upcoming season. So grab that cup of cinnamon-spiced coffee, prop your feet up on a pumpkin and enjoy what our writers have to say this month. ~TMC I love this time of year.  November and December are two of my favorite months.  Cold enough to snuggle up, but not the bitter cold of January and February.  Lots of family time.  Mounting excitement from our three-year-old.  Holiday parties with friends.

It all catches up with me in January and I spend that entire month recovering, but that's something I'll worry about then.

In our house, books are a part of our daily lives, but I also have seasonal books that only come out at certain times of the year.  I keep a box of books in our living room that are rotated about once a month, and as certain holidays come up, I pull the corresponding books out of hiding and we read them during that season.  Once the season is over, those books go away for another year.  Today, I thought I'd share some of our favorite books for the upcoming season.

Fall/Halloween:

If you have not yet discovered Tad Hills and his Duck and Goose books (available in both board book and hardcover format), you're in for a treat.  These adorable friends are well-loved in our house, and my preschooler can recite Duck and Goose Find A Pumpkin by heart.  Following the theme of "it's always in the last place you look", Duck and Goose search all over for the perfect pumpkin.  Except, of course, the one place they're most likely to find one.  Once you meet these two, you're going to want to run out and gather every book you can get your hands on.

You might already be familiar with the Five Little Pumpkins poem, but I particularly like this version, illustrated by Dan Yaccarino.  Available in board book format, the illustrations show ghosts, and jack-o-lanterns, and witches, but in a manner that is almost cute, and not scary to little ones.   This is another book that my preschooler can recite.  She particularly likes the ghostly "Woooooo" of the wind and enthusiastically clapping her hands together while yelling, "And OUT went the lights!".  Because, after all, a good book MUST contain shouting.

Thanksgiving:

For a fun twist on a classical story, try I Know An Old Lady Who Swallowed A Pie by Alison Jackson, illustrated by Judy Schachner.  This elderly relative travels to Thanksgiving dinner with her pie contribution.  But she's so ravenous that the pie is gone before she even reaches the house.  So then she needs cider to wash it down.  And then a roll.  And then...well, you know how the story goes.  This version is truly giggle-inducing.

This next book might not be appropriate for the preschool set, but add it to your collection as a classic for future years.  Molly's Pilgrim is not a new book, in fact it was first published in 1983.  Based on author Barbara Cohen's real family history, this is the tale of Molly, a Jewish, Russian immigrant who struggles to participate in the Thanksgiving discussions of her third grade classroom.  When the class is given the assignment of creating a pilgrim, Molly goes to her mother for help, but her mother's interpretation just embarrasses Molly even more.  This story goes beyond Thanksgiving to discuss bullying, confidence, and acceptance.

Christmas/Hannukah:

There are so many Christmas books out there, it's just about impossible to select one. The one I want to share is one that you may not be familiar with, but is one of the most moving, beautifully illustrated picture books for the Christmas season that I think I've ever read.  Angela and the Baby Jesus, written by Frank McCourt of Angela's Ashes fame, and illustrated by the award-winning Loren Long, revisits McCourt's mother, Angela, this time as a child.  The young Angela is distressed by the thought of the baby Jesus, resting in the village church's nativity, freezing in the winter night.  So she steals him (of course!), and takes him home to warm and care for him.  What follows is a story of family ties, faith, and Christmas forgiveness.  Simultaneously touching and humorous (and did I mention amazingly illustrated?), you will find yourself reading this book even when the children are not around.

For Hanukkah, one of my favorite books is The Miracle Jar: A Hanukkah Story by Audrey Penn (author of The Kissing Hand), illustrated by Lea Lyon.  This is the story of a poor family busily preparing for the arrival of Hanukkah.  When Mother shares her concern that there may not be enough oil to last through eight days of cooking, the children's spirits are dampened.  As the days go by, Father recalls the story of the miracle of the oil and the family watches their own oil disappear bit by bit, wondering if it will last to the final day.  While this is a story celebrating the Hanukkah holiday, it also has a universal theme of love and perseverance.

These books only scratch the surface.  My own collection for each season grows each year as I rediscover old classics and fall in love with new ones that I want my children to experience.  Please share your favorites! And enjoy the chance the colder weather offers to cuddle up on the couch.  Even if it only lasts for a few seconds.

Children, Photos, and the Internet; Oh My!

The internet is like a big room filled with people shouting. Some feel a sense of security in the noise and may reveal more information than they would otherwise in a face to face environment. Others can feel overwhelmed in this giant room and crank their privacy settings to 11. Some days, I'm comforted by the noise as I peruse through the 'web's news, photos, and gossip. On other days I want to shout my own opinions and share photos of my beautiful daughter and hot husband. But some days I second-guess my openness. I don't mind being open about my experiences. I don't mind sharing my personal photographs. But would Joanna mind?

The biggest fear circling child safety on the internet is often about pedophiles coming to abduct our children. Stephen Balkam, CEO of the Family Online Safety Institute, told the New York Times that, "Research shows that there is virtually no risk of pedophiles coming to get kids because they found them online." [New York Times] Reading this brought a huge sigh of relief.

Then I kept reading. "The real danger is that a photo is appropriated and mistreated." The act of saving a photo to one's computer takes mere seconds. The act of creating a social profile using said photo takes minutes.

Again, my mind jumps to "what about the pedophiles?" Thankfully, Professor Finkelhor addresses my fears: "The possibility always exists that pedophiles are lifting such pictures, but it is not something [I have] encountered... it’s unlikely for a disconcerting reason: actual child pornography is so readily available that pedophiles aren’t likely to waste time cruising social networks looking for less explicit material."

First of all, it is incredibly sad that child pornography is available at the click of a button. It makes me want to adopt all of the kids that are being sexually exploited. It also makes me want to castrate those that are exploiting them. My heart breaks for those girls (and boys) that are lied to and abused for the sake of money and perversion.

Professor Finkelhor's comments about pedophiles reshaped my hesitation in displaying my child's photos. Although I doubt anyone would believe that a 10 month old has their own Facebook profile, it brings a new perspective for parents to consider before posting pictures without appropriate privacy settings. And the concern doesn't just apply to bloggers. Whenever I enter my child into a Cutest Kid contest, I could be giving that company permission to use my image at their discretion. Whenever I share a meme on my Facebook page featuring a kid I've never seen before, I'm furthering the use of a photo that the parents may not know is floating around. Whenever I upload my images to a website, I could be allowing that company to use my photo in their advertising. Although this may excite some stage mothers, I won't get modeling gigs from that image. I won't even get credit for the photo because I checked that little box before hitting 'submit'.

So what's a mommy blogger to do? I'm not going to stop taking photos of my daughter. I'm not going to stop uploading her ridiculous faces. However, I may take more photos that focus on her hands or cankles (not a typo). I may also greatly limit posting photos after her first birthday. Or maybe I'll put a paper bag over her head (with air holes of course.) She'll be running at that point anyway so I doubt I'll even have time to find the camera.

What do you think? Do you post photos of your children in a public forum? Do you have your privacy settings tailored to your preference?

Recipe of the Week - Pumpkin Cookies

 

These are a fall family favorite in the Earl household. We typically only last a few days without before making a new batch. The best thing about them, besides the taste, is they can be relatively healthy if you follow my directions in bold and avoid the frosting. They are delicious both ways; I prefer them without the frosting but they make a festive addition to any party if you frost and top with a piece of candy corn.

Pumpkin Cookies 2 cups flour – I use whole wheat flour. 1 cup quick oats 1 teaspoon baking soda 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon 1/2 teaspoon salt 1 cup butter softened – I substitute at least ½ cup coconut oil. 1 cup firmly packed brown sugar – I only use ½ cup and sometimes replace with honey. 1 cup of sugar -  I only use ½ cup of raw cane sugar. 1 egg 1 teaspoon vanilla 1 cup Libby’s Solid Pack Pumpkin 1 cup semi sweet chocolate chips or M&M’s (optional) I skip this. 1 cup raisins (optional) – I skip this. 1 cup nuts (optional) – I skip this.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Combine flour, oats, baking soda, cinnamon and salt. Cream butter, gradually add sugars, beating until light and fluffy. Add egg and vanilla; mix well. Alternate additions of dry ingredients and pumpkin,  mixing well after each addition. Stir in morsels. Drop dough, using cookie scoop or teaspoon, onto lightly greased cookie sheet. Bake 10-11 minutes until cookies are firm and lightly browned.  This recipe will make close to 60 cookies.

Cream Cheese Frosting 1, 3-ounce package cream cheese 1/4 cup butter 1 teaspoon vanilla 2 cups powdered sugar

In a mixer bowl beat together cream cheese, butter and vanilla till light and fluffy. Gradually add powdered sugar, beating until smooth.

Whose Traditions?

With the changing leaves and falling temperatures, there's no doubt that fall is here! As mothers, we always try to stay a step ahead of the chaos and this month we're taking some time to share our thoughts on holiday celebrations, family traditions and maybe some new ideas about how to enjoy the upcoming season. So grab that cup of cinnamon-spiced coffee, prop your feet up on a pumpkin and enjoy what our writers have to say this month. ~TMC Can I share a secret with you? As self-centered as it sounds, I never really gave much thought to how my children would experience the holidays. I just assumed they would celebrate the same way I did. Yet as Halloween ushers in the holiday season, I am aware of just how different Miss E's experiences are going to be than mine. One of the reasons is: I didn't take into account my husband and his traditions.

Of course I started thinking about holiday traditions while we were dating. His family does Christmas differently than mine, not to mention Thanksgiving.

Yet it really wasn't until Halloween last year that I realized just how different our experiences were. Growing up, my family was very religious; church on Sunday, as well as, Tuesday, Thursday and any other day special services were held. Our church was very strict compared to some of the churches I've visited today. Women didn't wear pants. Jewelry, make-up, dancing and movie theater-attendance weren’t allowed. And Halloween, well Halloween was definitely a holiday we did not celebrate. I remember last year, I was pregnant and in between trick-or-treaters, my husband talked about what his family did. He talked about carving pumpkins with Miss E and what we would do for her first trick-or-treating. I usually have a plan, but in this I had no clue. I explained to J-man we didn't do Halloween in my house. I explained I only went trick-or-treating once as a child. Most of my childhood Halloweens were spent in church.

At first I was a little saddened by the thought that Miss wouldn’t get to celebrate her first holidays the same way I did. I remember Thanksgivings spent at the homes of family filled with lots of noise and even more food. Our big Christmas celebrations were held on Christmas Eve, with carols being sung and filled with family fun. Christmas mornings were filled with visits from my Abuelo and my cousins who lived upstairs, and the evenings spent at church watching, or participating in, the Christmas play. I think even though there are many things from my childhood I want to share with Miss E, I know that they aren’t all possible. Things like getting together with family for the holidays is not going to be as easy as it was for me growing up. Both our families live out of state. As I get a melancholy feeling at the holiday celebrations Miss E will not know, I remember that as my cousins, sister and I grew up, my family’s traditions changed. Their holidays are no longer spent the same way they were when I was young.

As I typed that last sentence I realized the important thing is that we, J-man, Miss E and I, are starting our own holiday traditions as a family. So this year, with Halloween quickly approaching, I can’t help but think how Miss E’s Halloweens will be filled with jack o’lanterns and costumes, and you know what I’m quite okay with the difference. I was even excited when my husband and I bought her first pumpkin carving set, since I'm sure pumpkin carving will become one of our family traditions. Are there traditions you followed as a child that you haven't carried on with your own children? Do you miss those traditions or are you happier with your new ones?

Recipe of the Week - Goat Curry

Have you tried goat meat? Goat meat is an up-and-coming meat here in the United States, but comprises 63% of all red meat consumed worldwide. This mainly does with the economics of raising goats (versus cattle and other protein sources) as goats are very hardy and can live in sparsely vegetated areas where other animals cannot. All that aside, goat meat is a lean meat, with fewer calories and fat grams while maintaining comparable protein levels versus other popular meats (see http://www.aces.edu/pubs/docs/U/UNP-0061/ for more information).

However, most of us approach goat meat with a "what do I do with THIS?" attitude. Trust me, I've been there. Here's one of our favorite ways to serve goat meat, and even my toddler loves it. I like this recipe because while it's labor intensive at the start, it cooks slowly on its own. I normally start making it during naptime. It's also nice to have a relatively simple curry recipe that doesn't require an exorbitant amount of exotic spices!

Goat Curry - Serves: 8

4 lb bone-in goat meat (we prefer a shoulder or flank roast) 4 tbsp vegetable oil or ghee 2 large onions, chopped 2 tbsp grated or finely chopped fresh ginger root 2 tbsp Madras or other good quality curry powder 2 tbsp curry paste 1 cinnamon stick 1 3/4 cup coconut milk 1 3/4 cup diced or crushed tomatoes, with juices 1 cup chicken stock (or water) salt, to taste

In large, heavy dutch oven or saucepan with lid, heat 2tbsp of oil over medium high heat. Add goat meat in single layer and cook in batches until browned all over.

Heat remaining 2tbsp of oil in large heavy skillet over medium heat. Add onions and cook a minute or two. Add ginger root; cook until golden brown and carmelized, about 10min. Add curry powder, curry paste, and cinnamon stick; cook a couple of minutes or more until aromatic. Add to goat mixture. Add coconut milk and tomatoes. Add chicken stock, adding a little more if necessary to cover meat. Bring mixture to a boil; reduce heat to low and cook, partially covered 2-3 hours or until goat meat is soft and just falling off bones. Remove bones. Taste; add salt.

Cool curry, then place in fridge until fat congeals on surface. Remove fat. (TIP: If you're using local, pasture-raised goat meat, you will likely be able to skip this step as most pasture-raised meats are lower in fat).

Serve with smashed potatoes, rice, or noodles. We prefer it over potatoes. If you want to get fancy or authentic, serve with raita (plain yogurt mixed with grated cucumber), chutneys, or Indian pickles. But we never do. ;-)

Recipe from: http://www.marionkane.com/recipe-2/melissa-leithwood-is-championing-goat-meat-no-idding/