Healthy Moms: Teaching Kids Early

Getting kids to eat their veggies can be a huge challenge for us moms. I know with my kids it was and sometimes is an uphill battle. We started choosing a healthier lifestyle after the birth of our 3rd. He is 5 now, and my other two are 10 and 8. Because we started this process when they were young, they have embraced our lifestyle today. But it hasn't been easy. With our youngest, "green smoothies", or we called them "muscle smoothies", worked best. He didn't like salads at dinner and rarely would eat the veggies served with dinner. I felt more confident that he was getting his nutrients from the smoothies we made. Calling them fun names like "green slime," "muscle smoothie," or "smoothie to grow" made it fun for him. I let him choose the ingredients… we start with a banana, then add apple, carrot, and spinach or kale. Add a little unsweetened almond or coconut milk and blend!  We also can sneak some hemp seeds or flax seeds in there too. He loved throwing the ingredients in the blender!

The USDA is now saying we need to have 7-13 servings of fruits and vegetables a day. How many do you think we can actually get our kids to have? I know we work really hard at this, but realistically, get 6-7 servings each day.

I've heard of the recipes where you "hide" the veggies in food. This is smart to some extent, but a healthy goal for us moms should be to incorporate raw veggies into their bodies. When we cook down vegetables, we lose some of the enzymes and phytonutrients that actually benefit their immune system and developmental system. A couple foods are actually healthier cooked such as potatoes and tomatoes, but most are healthiest in their raw form.

A fun way to sit down with your kids is to divide foods into 3 categories. Have fun with your kids and make a buffet of food. Let them divide out the food into the 3 areas.

Green Light Foods:

Enjoy these foods all the time! These foods help you "GO!" and grow.

Fresh, local veggies like carrots, celery, broccoli, peppers, tomatoes Nuts and seeds Whole grains like brown rice and quinoa 100% whole grain breads Fresh juices and smoothies Hummus & bean dips

Yellow Light Foods:

Proceed with caution. Only eat these foods sometimes! These foods aren't all bad, but if we eat them all day long, we will go "SLOW"...

Bottled juices Sugary yogurts Baked chips and crackers Restaurant foods Meat and Dairy

Red Light Foods:

Try to avoid these as much as possible! These foods make you "STOP" and slow you down. They make you feel weak.

Donuts Pastries Fast food Soda Candy Chips Foods you're allergic to

Basically, when you walk around your grocery store, if you start in the produce area you'll notice the perimeter is Green and Yellow light foods, and the middle is mostly Red light foods. Take your kids to the store with you and have them help you shop for the "Go" foods!

Try this little exercise out sometime with your kids. Even young toddlers understand this because they watch your car stop, slow down, and GO! Train them up early and by the time they're my kids' age, they will seek out those foods on their own! I'm so proud of my kids' choices, especially my oldest. She shares her knowledge with her classmates every day.

For more tips and health information, please check out my site www.puregoodness.net. Share some of your thoughts below on this exercise and how it worked for your kids!

Cooking, Cleaning, Bathing...Oh, My!

In September, the Motherhood Collective will feature posts on balance - having it or not! It's certainly a state most of us struggle to find. September is, for some, the calm before the storm. Our kids are back in school, fall activities have begun and we have a few precious weeks before we really have to start thinking about the holidays. What better time to take a few minutes to reflect on how we spend our time, juggle our lives and what we can do to achieve our own perfect balance! ~TMC For me, living a wholistic life is all-inclusive.  What I mean, it is part of everything we do as a family such as: attachment and purposeful parenting; respecting our children as whole persons; trying to eat a real, whole foods diet; getting the proper amount of rejuvenation and exercise; living a green and eco-conscious lifestyle; and most importantly, striving for an honest and pure Christian lifestyle.  Some of these things seem to come easier than others.  Practicing attachment parenting was a natural course of action for me.  It seems to be what I am naturally inclined to.  Ironically enough, finding balance is one of the eight tenets of Attachment Parenting.  Living a green and eco-conscious life is also very natural for me.  I am a minimalist in most areas; therefore, not being wasteful is fairly easy.

Then there are the other areas that don’t come so easily.  Respecting my children when I am a living lack of sleep is truly a task for me.  It isn’t that I don’t want to do this, but it is difficult to control my emotions when all I want is a moment of peace to gather my thoughts.  I could go through each area of my life, dividing the easy from the struggles.

After 22 months, I know that I need balance to survive.

Here are a few things that have helped me to maintain balance amongst the mayhem:

1.  Be patient.  My favorite mommy mantra is: “This too shall pass.”  Sometimes in the midst of whatever struggle we are going through, we tend to think it will never end.  As with most things with kids, it won’t last forever.  If we are patient, the phase will pass and be nothing more than a fleeting memory.

2.  Stop and listen.  Listen to your kids and your spouse.  Simply stopping to listen will tell you so much about that person’s needs, which in turn, will help you to focus on one thing.  As moms, we tend to do, do, do.  If we are focusing on these priorities, then maybe we can knock out a few of those unnecessary tasks.  This will, hopefully, decrease our busyness.

3.  Go outside.  When everything seems to be spiraling out of control, when everyone’s voices seem to be getting louder and louder, when I start to lose the ability to hear myself think – I go outside!   There are actually very few days that I don’t go outside.  I strap one kid to my body and put the other in a stroller, and off we go.  Everyone is able to take a breather, and reconnect.

4.  Simplify your morning routine.  If I have to be somewhere in the morning by a certain time, then I have to prepare the day/night before.  With two kids under two to get dressed and out the door, I have to have a few things streamlined.  I have my bag packed, my clothes picked out, their clothes and diapers set out, and breakfast in mind.  If I don’t do these things, we are late and grumpy.  Oh, and try to go to bed on time also.

5.  Have sex!  Okay, there, I said it.  I said the “S” word.  Even when we feel like we have been touched all day, we feel like we can’t stay awake one more minute, or we simply have our minds focused on 100 other tasks; this is a much needed act to have in our relationship.  How much?  Well, that is up to you and your SO.  I just recommend you do it enough so you don’t forget how.  I hear it's like riding a bike...

--- The Motherhood Collective is on Facebook. Like us, then comment on our giveaway post for a chance to win a family photo shoot from Adam Barnes Photography. Our contest ends when we hit 500 Likes!  

Learning About Ankyloglossia (Tongue-Tie)

We thank our educator-in-residence, Laurie Flower, for sharing information on a common (and under-diagnosed) issue! Ankyloglossia, what, you might say? You may think it sounds foreign. It is Greek for crooked tongue. It is the true medical name of a baby being tongue-tied. Many new mothers are not informed about the very common condition of babies being tongue-tied and how it can lead to unsuccessful breastfeeding.

A tongue-tie consists of an abnormally short, tight, or deep lingual frenulum, which restricts the mobility of the tongue. It is a membrane of tissue that attaches the tongue to the floor of the mouth that constricts movement for feeding. Tongue-ties vary greatly in length and thickness. It is not always at the tip of the tongue, which is what many people commonly look for, which can mislead the diagnosis. Why is that a problem? Freedom of movement is essential for the withdrawal of milk from the breast.

Symptoms for Mom:

• Sore cracked nipples
• Thrush
• Mastitis
• Insufficient milk supply

Symptoms for Baby:

• Short feeds
• Non-stop feeds
• Unsettled baby
• Weight issues
• Tongue can look like it has a heart shaped tip when trying to extend
• Tongue can look square or flat
• Baby can not poke tongue out beyond bottom gums or lip
• The tongue humps up in the middle instead of plunging forward
• Tongue can not move freely to the left or right of mouth
• Baby often makes a clicking or smacking sound while trying to eat

It affects more boys than girls. Babies who have a family history of tongue-tie are more genetically inclined to have tongue-tie as well. Most of the time it is found through moms trying to breastfeed, because it doesn’t appear to hinder babies who bottle feed.

Not only can being tongue-tied affect breastfeeding, it can affect children and adults who desire to play wind instruments. Long term, it can affect dental hygiene, kissing and speech.

For years every baby was checked at birth for tongue-tie to prevent breastfeeding problems. Then, in the 1940’s and 50’s when the number of breastfeeding babies declined, the monitoring of newborn tongue-tie virtually stopped. As breastfeeding rates have risen, it has once again become a potential issue and a nasty nuisance for struggling newborns. As new parents are educating themselves and choosing breastfeeding as the “normal” way of feeding, tongue-tie can be an issue for some mothers and babies.

A breastfeeding baby with a correctly-working tongue should be able to lick his lips and touch the tip of his tongue to the roof of his mouth. The tongue is the major component of breastfeeding. It is what pulls the breast into the mouth and holds the breast in position. When the tongue tip elevates, it traps the milk in the front of the breast and then presses the breast moving the milk from the areola to the nipple. The tongue then helps “catch” the milk and “throws” it smoothly down the throat for the baby to swallow. When that cannot happen, the baby instead struggles to use his lips and jaws to clamp down, and painfully compensates with an incorrect latch. This causes pain to the mother and can contribute to low milk production.

Who Usually Finds a Tongue-Tie?

• Lactation counselors/specialists
• Lactation consultants
• Occasionally pediatricians

Breastfeeding clinicians base their assessment of tongue-tie upon the following:

• Closely monitoring the mother and baby dyad during a feeding
• Comfort/pain level of the mother
• Breast damage
• Babies feeding poorly, if at all.
• Referral for either low milk supply or low baby weight

What to do Once Tongue-Tie has Been Found?

A frenotomy can be an appropriate option for most babies. A referral would be made to one of the following specialists to perform this quick and easy procedure: an ENT (ear, nose and throat doctor), general dentist, some pediatricians, some midwives or pediatric surgeons.

What Does the Procedure Entail?

When many new parents are told their baby might need a surgical procedure, they might become very alarmed and filled with concern. However, this office procedure takes less then one minute. Sometimes a local anesthetic or a topical analgesia is used. When the frenulum is released the tongue is then freed to make natural wide movements. This is done by making a small direct cut to the part of the frenulum that is preventing the tongue to move properly. Usually within a minute the baby can go right to the mothers breast to be calmed and also to see if a proper latch can occur. This is a very low risk procedure. On occasion, there can be short term bleeding or infection, but these complications are very uncommon.

The joy, success and the health benefits of breastfeeding outweigh the fear of this extremely common procedure. If you find that you are having any of the above mentioned symptoms, it is imperative to see a breastfeeding specialist/consultant as soon as possible to help you get breastfeeding back on the right track; before too much damage is done to the breast or the milk supply is depleted.

Recipe of the Week - No Knead Bread

For me, any season is good bread season, but I must say that as the months grow darker and colder, my desire for something warm and yummy grows stronger. This recipe is called No-Knead Bread, but you might as well call it Italian Bread Straight from a New York Bakery. It is quick, inexpensive, practically fool proof and absolutely delicious! The only catch is, you have the remember to make it the day before you want it because it needs to rise overnight. My friend Julie shared this recipe with me years ago and it has been a favorite go-to recipe ever since. It is adapted from this recipe, only I'm lazy and have skipped a few steps and I'm here to say it didn't matter!

Time:

About 5 mins. to prepare plus 14 to 20 hours rising

Ingredients:

3 cups all purpose or bread flour

¼ teaspoon instant yeast

3/4 Tablespoon Kosher salt or 1 teaspoon table salt

1 1/2 cups warm water

Things you'll need that you may not have already:

Heavy pot with lid (cast iron, enamel, Pyrex or ceramic). I bought my cast iron one at TJ Maxx. It was $40, but oh so worth it!

Parchment paper

Instructions:

1. THE DAY BEFORE combine flour, yeast, salt and water in large bowl, and stir until blended; dough will be shaggy and sticky. Cover bowl with plastic wrap or lid. Let dough rest at least 12 hours, preferably about 18, at warm room temperature.

2. THE NEXT DAY fold dough over on itself once or twice. Cover loosely with plastic wrap or lid and let rise another 2 hours.

3. At least a half-hour before dough is ready, heat oven to 450 degrees. Line a 6- to 8-quart heavy covered pot (cast iron, enamel, Pyrex or ceramic) with parchment paper and place in oven as it heats. When dough is ready, carefully remove pot from oven. Plop dough in. Shake pan once or twice if dough is unevenly distributed; it will straighten out as it bakes. Cover with lid and bake 30 minutes, then remove lid and bake another 15 to 20 minutes, until loaf is beautifully browned. Cool on a rack.

4. Slice. Eat plain, smothered with butter or dipped in olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Declare yourself an Italian culinary master!

*image source http://www.thefreshloaf.com/recipes/italianbread

Salad Bar Parenting: Baby Carriers

Salad Bar Parenting: A buffet of ideas, practices and products loved by a Motherhood Collective Mom. Depending on your season of parenthood or mothering philosophies, you may pile on what works for you or pass the salad tongs to the next Mom. Hello. My name is Laura and I am addicted to babywearing. It all started with my Moby. After having my daughter via C-section, I had to wait several weeks before I could carry her 10 pound body around safely. I began carrying her in her carseat as soon as I was able. However, the weight and awkwardness of that plastic basket injured my back to the point that I had difficulty sleeping. Rather than give up carrying my sweet daughter, I began wearing her in a Moby stretch wrap. Thus began my love of babywearing. 

To help those that want to learn more about babywearing, I gave each of my 6 carriers a rating of 1 out of 10, 1 being the "worse than a carseat" and 10 being "this is the best thing in the world".  I also compare each one to shoes to describe the comfort. I don't cover many technical details about each carrier, I only speak about my personal experiences with them. If you're looking for a detailed review that talks about the measurements and where it's made, I'm not your girl. If you want just a quick play by play of the carriers we've used and how we like them, then you’re welcome. 

Moby stretchy wrap - 8 out of 10

Like a well-made comfortable canvas shoe

From 0-4 months, my olive green Moby was my favorite. It took about 30 minutes to master but it was well worth the practicing and frustration. It's incredibly versatile and stretchy - perfect for beginner mamas and beginner babies. They retail from $25 - $40 and are found at most major baby stores. Joanna could fall asleep within minutes of me putting it on. I also liked it because it fit over my large chest and didn't irritate my C-section incision. 

Seven Sling – 4 out of 10

Like a strappy flat sandal: cute but not great for long-term use.

[Image from Seven Slings' Website]

My yellow and red Seven Sling was my emergency sling when Joanna was under 20lbs.  It's valued at $40, but it was "free" with $12 shipping and $5 fee of some kind.  It was great to keep in the diaper bag in case I forgot to bring a carrier.  The sizes run small so I bought a size 5 even though the chart said I needed a size 3. It fit perfectly for several months.

Bjorn - 1 out of 10

Like a flip-flop: zero support, can cause immediate and long-term discomfort

 

[Image from Bjorn's website]

The Bjorn is like the 1980s Cadillac of carriers. They retail for $100 - $150. The price makes it seem like a good carrier, but it’s painful for the wearer and the baby. It hurts your back and doesn't support the baby's hips and legs properly. They can be especially uncomfortable for little boys. I could last about 30 minutes before I would want to put her back in her car seat and carry her. I only used the Bjorn a handful of times.

Girasol Woven Wrap - 8 out of 10

Like one of those weird "foot shoes": it takes time to get used to before it feels like a second skin.

Woven wraps are the most versatile way to wear your baby. They can be difficult to learn but they have a very dedicated following. (Just ‘google’ woven wrap and you’ll find a myriad of websites and videos dedicated to the many ways to wear your baby.) You can also do a back carry with woven wraps - you cannot do a back carry with a stretchy wrap.

Boba (3rd generation) - 9 out of 10

Like a supportive canvas shoe: I can wear it all day but it can get a little warm and sweaty.

[Image from Boba's website]

I have come to the conclusion that I’m a structured buckle carrier kind of girl. This style is my go-to carrier when I need something quick, easy, and comfortable. The Boba stays in the car at all times so I always have it on hand. There are multiple points of support (unlike the Bjorn) so it doesn't hurt after 5 minutes of wearing it. I've been able to wear her for hours of walking without pain. They can retail from $130-$150. It is WELL worth the investment! This carrier will fit Joanna until 35 pounds. The only reason this didn't get a 10 out of 10 is it gets a little warm in the Virginia humidity. It's all cotton and black, so that was my fault for not choosing a lighter color.

Onya Carrier - 10 out of 10

Like a sturdy sneaker: all-day wearability with great support and breathability

[Images from Onya's website]

The Onya is one of my favorite purchases. When we first got it, it seemed too big for her. It collected dust until she was 6 months old. When I brushed it off and put her in, it was perfect! I bought the Onya Outback, which is a more rugged structured carrier. It's mesh and nylon compared to my cotton Boba. It breathes beautifully in hot weather and it even comes with an attachment so she can sit in a chair safely! Genius. My husband prefers this carrier because it looks more manly. It's super comfortable, breathes well, looks nice, and Joanna loves it. Here is a great review of the Onya. 

The best thing to do is find a retailer that sells multiple brands. It's like finding a good pair of shoes - you have to try them on to find the best fit. There are also Babywearing groups in many cities where you can attend and try on different types of carriers. You can also learn about other types of carriers like ring slings, mei teis, Ergo, Beco, and many more. I am a member of the Babywearers of Lynchburg and have learned so much about how to safely and comfortably carry my baby close to me. 

Balancing Balance: Yet Another Mothering Irony

In September, the Motherhood Collective will feature posts on balance - having it or not! It's certainly a state most of us struggle to find. September is, for some, the calm before the storm. Our kids are back in school, fall activities have begun and we have a few precious weeks before we really have to start thinking about the holidays. What better time to take a few minutes to reflect on how we spend our time, juggle our lives and what we can do to achieve our own perfect balance! ~TMC Okay, I’ll be honest.  This was a crazy summer for our family.  We ran around like, well, my son after his birthday cake—eyes roving and all.  We have recently crashed and burned—and are taking this opportunity to re-evaluate.

Finding balance?  It’s hard.  Especially when you try to balance good things.  I feel like I have weeks in which I spend the perfect amount of time at home, taking care of Gabriel, cleaning, cooking, and resting.  Friday comes, and guilt overtakes me—I didn’t spend time with others, or serve anyone else in any way!

So I call up my friends—let’s book up the next week!  That Friday comes, and I feel like I’ve just lugged Gabriel around to whatever plans I made, without thinking of his needs.  Or my husband comes home from work, and I haven’t even started dinner.

Ugh!  The irony is that I feel like I don’t have time to figure out balance.  It takes too much work, too much strength, too much thought!  Sometimes I think I’m still figuring out my identity as a mother, let alone how I’m going to be the same wife, friend, daughter, and sister that everyone else knows me as.

Of course, it’s very easy for me to speak the language of failure.  I mean, my son is 12 months old.  Shouldn’t this whole mothering thing be figured out by now?  Ha, ha.  Funny you should ask.

Come to find out, this is a universal struggle.  I love reading proverbs of every kind—they have a way of putting the daily grind and the wisdom that solves it into one sentence.  One of my favorites is from the Bible, Proverbs 14:1, “The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down (ESV).”

Does this describe how I feel about all things homemaker at times?  Most definitely.  I spend the morning building a fortress of peace, instruction, sweet kisses, vacuumed floors, and homemade bread (just for good measure).  I then find myself in the afternoon—with a jackhammer between my hands, pointed at the foundation of all I built that morning, a crying baby in the carrier, a caffeine headache (because I just can’t get around to that cup of coffee), and a constant stream of “You’re doing this ALL wrong,” going through my head.

I have been taking some practical steps every week to help get me on the right track.  Even if every plan deviates from what I expected, I have assurance that next week is a new week.  I get to start all over again!  (And honestly, isn’t every day a new day?  I even feel like my child waking up from every nap is a new day.  We are given endless grace in this!).

•  Weekly Planning Retreat:  I try to take time every Sunday to ponder the coming week.  I prefer to do this while Andy watches Gabriel, and whether I’m home or at Starbucks, I make a list of three things.

1. What goals do I have for this week?  I write down the things I want to accomplish in housekeeping, errands, time with the Lord, Andy, Gabriel, and friends, and a fun project that I can look forward to (like that awesome new recipe, or my ever-beckoning sewing excursions J).
2. What meals do I want to prepare this week?  I decide on those, make my grocery list, and gather my coupons.
3. I space all these things out as evenly as possible through the days.  I’ll admit, I’m a “get it all done” kind of girl, so my Mondays and Tuesdays tend to be busier than my Thursdays and Fridays.

This may sound simple, and you may already be doing this (if so, keep it up!), but if you haven’t and you want to start—it’s not hard.  Ask your husband or friend to help you establish this routine.

• Ask Yourself Good Questions:  When you’re young, all the “old” people ask you challenging questions that help get you on track.  When you’re a “big girl,” you’re expected to be able to do this for yourself now.  But it’s easy to forget!  Something I’m working on is asking myself a few simple questions every week (these are adapted from Lindsay Edmond’s blog “Passionate Homemaking” http://www.passionatehomemaking.com/2012/04/take-time-to-live-intentionally.html).

1. If you follow a certain faith, ask yourself about your place spiritually.  What areas can you improve in?  What new character traits would you like to develop?
2. If you’re married, ask yourself questions like these:  How can I bless my husband? How can I love him like he has never been or ever will be loved? What is one aspect of his character that I could thank him for? What is one thing I could say to cheer him up?
3. What practical steps can I take to love my children? What is one creative activity we could do together? Think of a one-on-one activity to do with each child. How can I bring life to them through my words?
4. What practical step can I take to serve others, express thankfulness and/or encouragement to a friend?
5. What practical steps can I take to simplify my life - what is one area I need to simplify to provide more peace in our home? What steps will I take to accomplish this?  (This is a big one for me!)
6. What is one step I can take towards completing long-term goals?

•  Gratitude List:  So this doesn’t exactly plan my week for me, but I do find that it keeps my attitude in line!  I like to keep a pad of paper out, and periodically write down anything and everything that strikes me as beautiful.  Beautiful things become blessings.  Blessings produce thankfulness.  Thankfulness literally transforms us.  Of course, it’s great to remember the blessings of food, clothing, shelter, jobs, a husband, and children.  I like to also remember really small things.  Here’s an example:

1. Kisses initiated by Gabriel
2. Dairy-free chocolate chip cookies (since I’m allergic to dairy!)
3. Sunlight streaming in on my plants—a reminder of the slow yet beautiful process of growth
4. A new notebook
5. Movie time with Andy
6. Five senses to fully experience my son
7. Breezes while walking
8. Early morning bird songs

I, by no means, have perfected any of these practices.  I certainly find them helpful, though!  The Motherhood Mountain is a journey, and it’s not just about “making it” to the top.  Our kids are following close behind.  Let’s find small victories in jumping over streams, and working together to scale boulders—dirty diapers, sticky fingers, and all!

Recipe of the Week - Natilla, A Cold Morning Delight

Its hard to believe that fall is just around the corner! You know what, that's just fine with me. Having grown up in Massachusetts, fall is the perfect time to think of my favorite cold weather foods.

None comes to mind quicker than the crema that my Abuela Elena used to make. According to Puerto Rican Cookery its name is Natilla (pronounced nah-tee'-ya) and it's classified as a cold custard dessert. But to me, it will always be a breakfast similar to oatmeal.

My abuela passed away when I was young, yet whenever I make this cold morning treat, I remember how I felt when my grandmother would place that warm plate in front of me. Unfortunately, food that comforts the soul does not always do well for the body and this natilla is no different.

The recipe is provided as it appears in the Puerto Rican Cookery, but as my mother pointed out, it can be adapted. For instance, as a child I was never a fan of the lime peel, so now I don't add it. My mother adds vanilla and decreases the amount of sugar. Both of us double the cornstarch to make it a little thicker, and as I've said before, we prefer it warm.

One thing I know for sure, I can't wait to share this with daughter, Elena, named for the the woman who inspired this recipe.

Group A 1 tablespoon cornstarch 1/8 teaspoon salt 2 egg yolks 2 cups milk

Group B 1/2 cup sugar 1 thin cinnamon stick 1 lime peel, rinsed and drained

In saucepan, blend cornstarch and salt with part of the milk. Add egg yolks and mix well. Add remaining milk and ingredients included in Group B. Place saucepan over moderate-high heat and bring to a brisk boil, stirring constantly with a wooden spoon. Remove immediately and strain into a dessert bowl or 4 individual cups. Allow to cool and set in refrigerator.

Salad Bar Parenting: Greener Cleaner Recipes

Salad Bar Parenting: A buffet of ideas, practices and products loved by a Motherhood Collective Mom. Depending on your season of parenthood or mothering philosophies, you may pile on what works for you or pass the salad tongs to the next Mom.

I’ve made quite a few changes this year in the way I clean our apartment.  Many baby steps later, I find myself with nearly all homemade cleaners and virtually no paper towels!

My desire to change began when Gabriel would fall asleep in the baby carrier, and I desperately wanted to clean the bathroom.  But I didn’t want him to smell all the cleaners I was using.  A friend of mine said she had begun making her own cleaners.  I’m not going to lie—I’ve always thought that was a little weird.  I mean, do they really clean as well?  Don’t you need the smell of bleach to really know that toilet is clean?  And doesn’t that take a lot of time (which I don’t have)?

I didn’t want to pay for the “green” cleaners at Kroger, so I decided I would try just one thing – an All-Purpose cleaner.  I was shocked.  It was cheap (cheaper than I could have imagined), green, safe (if you really want to, you can drink it—no worries of Gabriel accidentally discovering it!), and it, well, REALLY WORKS!

All I had to do was buy 5 ingredients (and most of them, you might already have on hand):

Vinegar

Baking Soda

Borax (you can get this at Kroger and Wal-Mart)

Super Washing Soda (Kroger and Wal-Mart)

Liquid Castile Soap (health food store, Target, Wal-Mart)

Optional: a naturally disinfecting essential oil such as a peppermint, lemon, or lavender

With these five ingredients, I now make All-Purpose Cleaner, Liquid Dish Soap, and Dishwasher Soap.  When I run out of my laundry detergent, I have everything I need to make that as well!

All-Purpose Cleaner:  (I adapted this from one of the hundreds I found on the web)

Combine 1 cup vinegar, 4 cups water, 2-3 tsp. baking soda, and a few drops of an essential oil (optional).  Pour into a spray bottle, and spritz!  For more intense cleaning, like for the tub and toilet, I’ll just pour straight up vinegar, and then sprinkle baking soda or borax and let it sit for a few minutes before scrubbing.

Liquid Dish Soap:  (copied from http://frugallysustainable.com/2011/09/homemade-liquid-dish-soap-that-really/)

-1 ½ cup of hot water

-½ cup liquid castile soap (I usually use Dr. Bronner’s baby mild liquid soap, but feel free to use any scent just be sure to adjust/omit essential oils accordingly. You may want to use a variety that is already scented for a more frugal option.)

-1 tablespoon of white vinegar

-1 tablespoon of Arm&Hammer’s Super Washing Soda (used to thicken the soap)

-1/8 teaspoon of tea tree oil (optional)

Directions:

1. Combine all ingredients into a large bowl and then pour in 1 1/2 cups of very hot water. Be sure to whisk/stir this mixture until all ingredients are thoroughly blended (and the washing soda is melted).

2. Allow mixture to cool completely on the counter, stirring occasionally.

3. Store in any dish soap dispensing bottle and use as you would the commercial brands.

Note: You may choose to naturally increase the anti-bacterial qualities of the soap by adding 1/4 tsp. of lavender or eucalyptus essential oils.

Dishwasher Soap:  Place one Tablespoon of Borax and one Tablespoon of Baking Soda in the dispenser.  Voila!

I also mix 1 part vinegar to 4 parts water when I mop the floors.

I use those green scour pads first, and then I finish off with microfiber cloths—their woven fibers pick up and trap germs and debris.  It’s also nice to polish everything off, since the baking soda can sometimes leave streaks on chrome.  I then just throw the scrubbers and cloths in the washer every week, and I’m ready to begin again!

This is something that has really worked for me.  I love hearing about how others keep house.  What tips do you have?

Another Mother's Balancing Act

In September, the Motherhood Collective will feature posts on balance - having it or not! It's certainly a state most of us struggle to find. September is, for some, the calm before the storm. Our kids are back in school, fall activities have begun and we have a few precious weeks before we really have to start thinking about the holidays. What better time to take a few minutes to reflect on how we spend our time, juggle our lives and what we can do to achieve our own perfect balance! ~TMC If you want to make a mom laugh, ask her how she "balances" her life.

My response to that question?  Snort.

The truth is: balance is really hard...and ever changing...and REALLY hard.

I mean, some days it's easy.

You know, the days when: - the baby's slept well and you've slept well. - everyone's had a good breakfast. - you went for a walk - or even to the gym. *GASP* - you talked to a grown up for more than 5 minutes. - your husband had a great day at work. - you can share an interesting story - because you actually know one. - your "made from scratch" dinner was delicious. - and you all went to bed on time, so that everyone could sleep well again!

And then there are THOSE days.  The days where pretty much the opposite of everything above happens.  And those days stink.  Real bad.

Those are the days that people think of when you ask about balance.  The days where you're exhausted and there is no food in the house, all the laundry is dirty, the baby won't nap, everyone in the entire world is cranky, it's raining and blah, blah, blah...

Yeah, those days are a real downer.

But as to how to find balance - hmmm.  Personally, I just take it one day at a time.  Oh, and deep breathing helps.

But seriously, these are the things that are always on my mental "to do" list.

I try to go to bed on time. And yes, "on time" is relative. I try to get up, shower and be dressed before noon.  Stop laughing...goals are important. I try to plan for and complete chores and errands before my husband notices the lack of bananas or clean socks. I try to eat well and feed my family well. I try to keep my house "together"...as in, someone could show up unannounced and I wouldn't be mortified.  (P.S. - If you happen to stop by, please don't ever ask to see my basement.)

Those are the easy ones.  Then there are the harder ones.

I try to be a thoughtful wife. I try to be a kind mother. I try to be generous and thankful. I try to maintain good relationships. I try to learn constantly and be creative And mostly...I try not to take myself too seriously.

Of course, I don't do all these things everyday.  Usually, if something starts to get neglected, I'm reminded (by my grouchy husband, the overflowing hamper, the tumbleweeds of dog fur, the towering stack of unread and possibly overdue library books or the to-do list that takes up more than a page) that something needs to change.

"The key to keeping your balance is knowing when you've lost it." - said somebody smart, but anonymously, on the internet.

Everyone has their own balance and you do know when you don't have it.  The important thing is to identify the imbalance and try to right it.  And usually, something's gotta give.  (At least for me, it's usually the amount of time I spend on Facebook. Strangely enough, the amount of time I spend cleaning is never the thing that needs to be reigned in.)

So, was this helpful?  Maybe not, but that's because balance is so personal.  If anything, rest assured that most of us struggle with balance in our lives.  Even if you think someone else has it all together, they probably don't...at least not all the time.  As with most things motherhood-related, your situation is never exactly the same as someone else's.

So my three bits of balancing advice: 1. Identify the things that are most important to you. 2. Check in on those things from time to time and adjust your time and energy accordingly. 3. Forgive yourself when things get out of whack and try to do better tomorrow.

So simple, right?  You're welcome, Internet.  Next month I'll tackle the debt crisis.

Photo courtesy of www.old-picture.com

Jaxon's Birth Story

The Motherhood Collective loves a good birth story! Reading the good, the bad, the ugly and the BEAUTIFUL experiences of other mothers gives us a real appreciation for the strength we have in childbirth. Hopefully stories like these will inspire you. ~TMC My husband, Don, and I prepared for many months in advance to have a natural, hypnobirth labor and delivery. We took the class, read the books, listened to the CDs, and practiced the hypnosis and affirmations. I agree with most of their model, so we thought it was a great way to prepare. Little did we know that things would be so abrupt, and most of our preparations would remain “all bagged up”.   I truly believe in natural birthing and natural pregnancies. The last thing I wanted was a cesarean section or an induction unless absolutely medically necessary. Many of you may not agree with me, but that is my preference. I believe birth is a rite of passage and that it is a beautiful experience that should be enjoyed and not fretted.  Our society, family experiences and personal experiences shape our beliefs about pregnancy and birth.  I am no different.  My past experiences as a labor and delivery nurse have greatly shaped my thinking when it comes to maternity care.

Let me begin by saying that I don’t really enjoy pregnancy so much.  I am one of those lucky people who get to have nausea and vomiting for their entire pregnancy.  I would get so sick that I would have petechial hemorrhaging around my eyes from throwing up so much.  Needless to say, I was very much looking forward to not being pregnant any longer.  As I approached 40 weeks, I was getting very excited about my impending “due date”.   The mental aspect was getting the best of me. My mind was definitely ready to go into labor, but my body and my baby had other plans. At 40 weeks, I still had not dropped, was having little to no contractions, and had not lost my mucous plug.  Apparently Jaxon was way too comfortable. I was taking Evening Primrose Oil, having sex on a more than regular basis, doing nipple stimulation, pumping with a breast pump, tried Castor Oil a few times (only induced vomiting), and walked until I had a stress fracture in my heel. Nothing was happening.

Then came 41 weeks. My Bishop score (cervical exam to check for ripening in order to strip your membranes) was a total of 3. Nothing great.  This meant that I was not ready to go into labor, and I couldn’t have my membranes stripped.  Jaxon was just enjoying himself as I continued to be sick and huge.  Oh the looks that I got as I walked around NYC and rode the subway.  We had to start at least talking about an induction. I also started getting bi-weekly NST's, BPP's and AFI's. I talked all of the details over with my midwives. All of the above testing for Jaxon was more than perfect. He was simply comfy and growing still. I continued to try all of the above remedies for cervical ripening. No contractions, though.

I had my next appointment at 41 weeks and 6 days. We decided to strip my membranes on this visit, despite my Bishop score. My cervix was very soft, though. At least all those remedies were doing something. That visit was on Tuesday. I did not have a single contraction all the way through Tuesday evening or Wednesday. I actually went to the mall after that appointment.  As I was walking through one of the stores, a lady asked me when I was due.  I told her “two weeks ago.”  She then proceeded to get a very concerned look on her face and follow me around as if I were going to drop my baby out at any moment.  I guess she thought she would catch.  Needless to say, I was getting a wee bit frustrated with my body at this time. I also had doubts that anything was going to go the way we planned - as if birth is ever planned!

Thursday rolled around and I had some mild cramping, but nothing that I had not already experienced and had went away. I went walking, took more primrose oil and decided to try Castor Oil one last time. I made a peanut butter, chocolate and vanilla milkshake with 2 oz of castor oil. That actually disguised the taste enough for me to get it down. Again, nothing happened though. I went for another walk, kept well hydrated, cleaned some things in the house and went about my day like normal. The cramping did not end this time though, but it also did not turn into contractions.

Around 8:30pm, I finally started feeling cramping that became more regular. I started making lasagna and put it in the oven at 8:30. I decided to call Don and tell him what was going on. I talked to him while he drove home and told him that I think I might actually go into labor.  We both were beginning to think I was having the gestation of an elephant. I called the midwife to update her, and she recommended a walk, some wine and some Benadryl to sleep. In my experience, this is typical for a first time labor. I called Don and told him that I would like to take a walk while the lasagna finished, and then try to get some sleep.

He walked in the door at 9:15pm, and my water broke at 9:20 with a huge gush of green fluid. It was the best worst feeling I have ever had.  I was in labor!!!  With my water breaking, Jaxon finally dropped and I could breathe.   I called the midwife back and updated her. My contractions had decided to start with my water breaking and were 2-3 minutes apart. She recommended that we come to the birth center because we were 45 minutes away, but we would probably have to go to the hospital for the meconium. Don and I turned off the oven, threw the lasagna in the microwave, grabbed my shoes, and rolled out of the apartment. I left wearing multiple pads, sweats, and sat on a huge towel. My fluid continued to gush, making quite the yucky mess. I had bought Depends for this very thing, but they were conveniently located in the trunk of the car behind our building.  My contractions all of a sudden were 2 min apart and were continuing to get stronger.

We drove down the West Side Highway in Manhattan, all the way to Brooklyn where the birth center was located.  This was truly an amazing moment because there were no traffic jams, no accidents, and open parking spots.  We actually made it in about 45 minutes.  Don drove while I sat in the passenger seat really regretting my clothing choice at the moment.  I was trying to get into a zen moment while we drove with the Hudson River on one side and the night skyline of NYC on the other, but my darn contractions kept screwing that up every two minutes.

We arrived to the birth center at 10:45pm. Andrea checked me, and I was 3-4 cm with a good fetal HR. My contractions remained 2 minutes apart, so we prolonged as long as possible before heading to the hospital around the block. Once we finally arrived at the hospital, I checked myself in while Don fought with NY parking. I paced in the hallway doing my hypnobirth breathing while the nurses stood looking at me. I felt a little weird in that moment. I'm pretty sure no one knew what theywere doing in triage, considering I was a direct admit.  I continued to walk up and down the hallway rehearsing birth affirmations in my head, while Don ate a dinner of rice pudding without a spoon.  Finally, a Hesidic Jewish man offered (at least I think – He spoke only Hebrew) to go to the cafeteria and get him a spoon.

I finally got a room, got hooked to the monitor and had a hep lock placed.  I had to argue with my nurse a bit as to where to place the IV, and where the best location for the fetal heart monitor was.  These are the reasons I wanted an out of hospital birth.  I knew I needed these things, but as soon as I entered the hospital, I entered “nurse mode”.  From here on out, I felt like I had to play two roles: mother and nurse.  My contractions were still 2 min apart. The midwife checked me and I was 5-6 cm and that was around midnight. Don started videotaping at this point.  My bouncing up and down on the birth ball made for some really exciting footage.  I was doing hypnobreathing, but at this point is where we really failed. My husband is a physical therapist, and had all sorts of “tools” to work with for decreasing the pressure of contractions.  We forgot about all of them.  They remained in the bag the entire time.  Big fat fail!!  The whole time, my contractions were all in my back and I had continuous pressure. Don was pushing on my hips, and Andrea was doing the hypnobirthing rhetoric. Everything seemed to be moving right along.

Then it hit, the contractions fell into this overzealous pattern of mayhem. They were less than a minute apart. The pressure intensified, and I lost all control of my body and mind. The hypnobirthing philosophy went out the window, and I just tried to maintain any respectable level of composure. I told the midwife that I felt a lot of pressure, so she checked me again. I was still 5-6 cm, but it had only been a bit since my last exam.  I thought I might go insane at this point. I was in tears because my contractions were about 45 sec apart lasting what seemed to be an eternity. My uterus was making up for the past 42 weeks! I had no time to even catch my breath in between contractions. I told Don I wanted an epidural. She and Don both asked me multiple times if that is what I really wanted. I had no idea what I wanted, but I wanted the insanity to end. Fortunately, the anesthesia team was in with another patient at the time. So I continued to breath, focus on the "opening rose", and listen to Don.  My room seemed to be filling up with curious onlookers posing as medical personnel (interns, residents, nurses, etc.) observing this crazy labor pattern that I was having.  Jaxon’s heartbeat was also starting to fluctuate too much.  I don’t know the exact rate, but I could hear it on the monitor.  That is a sound a labor and delivery nurse can always detect, a low fetal heartrate.

While all this was going on in my head, my labor continued in this crazy pattern. I told Andrea once again that I felt pressure. I was unable to hold back the urge to push. This was only 45 min from the last check she had done. She agreed to check me again because Jaxon's heartrate kept dropping. Something was going on, but no one knew what. She did check me, and I was complete and +1.  I was having a baby, like, NOW!  Just a few hours ago, I was making lasagna and pouring a glass of wine for my good night’s rest that I was going to have.

This meant I could push. The relief was coming. I forgot about the epidural and began to push my heart out. The greatest feeling of relief I had had since 9:20pm. I pushed a total of 2 times before the lovely hospital attending came in "to save the day"! She decided she would not let me push because his heartrate was too low. He was already at +2 station after only 2 pushes. She made me sit with her hands inside of me doing fetal scalp stimulation through about 5 contractions. I finally lost it and told her she needed to move along.  Between contractions, I proceeded to tell her about the current guidelines for Neonatal Resuscitation.  Finally, the MD that covers the midwives and the birth center arrived. He was the greatest doctor on the earth that night. He had the other attending leave because all she wanted to do was cut me. He told me to push.  Now we were seeing eye to eye! We got up into the bed and used the squat bar. I pushed a few times, and then we had to lay back down to get the heartrate. He told me I had 2 more pushes, and then he would use the vacuum because Jaxon's heartrate was in the 70's for quite a while. I agreed that it was the best plan. We pushed, but he wasn’t coming. He set me up for the vacuum and prepared for shoulder dystocia. Don was on one side and Andrea was on the other. The contractions came and so did the most intense burning sensation that anyone could ever imagine. The pop came, and his head was out. Only one more hurdle to over come now...the shoulders.

Well, I had a big child so these shoulders were some work, but they came on out. He laid him on my chest, and we sat there for a couple of seconds before he had to be suctioned for the meconium. One of the greatest moments of my life came in those few seconds. Yes, the pain had ended, but I had accomplished something. I had given birth to a beautiful baby boy (that might I add was very healthy)!

I had no idea that my labor would be less than 5 hours, and be almost a precipitous delivery with a hyperstimming uterus. I had no idea that we would completely forget about the massage tools, CDs, breathing baby down and all of the other hypnobirthing stuff. I had no idea that I would only have back labor. I had no idea that he would not tolerate being abruptly brought into this world. I had no idea that I would have 3rd degree vaginal tearing that would require vaginal packing and 12 different sutures in areas that pain medication could not reach.

I do know that I was and still am so grateful to have a healthy baby boy.  We stayed at the hospital for about 24 hours, which is a whole new story within itself.  Stories of my Hebrew speaking roommate, renting the television, my one boiled egg for breakfast, preparing for Jewish Sabboth in a Orthodox Jewish hospital, calling to get my own medical orders, walking out the door and down a few blocks at discharge, not being allowed to turn my light off all night long – oh it was an experience!

We left the hospital on Friday afternoon, went to Brooklyn to eat, drove across the Brooklyn Bridge with the Statue of Liberty in site, and then drove through tourist-crowded Chinatown during rush hour to take our new baby home.  I had never been so excited to sleep in my own bed!

---  

If you have a birth story you'd like to share with our readers, please submit it here.

  --- The Motherhood Collective is on Facebook. Like us, then comment on our giveaway post for a chance to win a family photo shoot from Adam Barnes Photography. Our contest ends when we hit 500 Likes!

Recipe of the Week - Chicken Pesto Cavatappi

  I’m feeling rather generous today and sharing with you my "go to" meal for company. This recipe is a family favorite in the Earl household. My husband and my 21 month-old both ask for seconds and I think it tastes even better the next day, cold, out of the fridge. It is easy to prepare - especially if you’ve cooked the chicken earlier in the week along with another meal. I usually just serve it with a good loaf of bread and maybe a glass of red wine.

Chicken Pesto Cavatappi

• 1lb Cavatappi Pasta (I use whole wheat rotini)
• 12 ounces boneless, skinless chicken breasts
• Olive oil cooking spray
• ¼ tsp each salt and pepper
• 1 tub (6-7 ounces) basil or cilantro pesto
• 1 cup jarred roasted peppers – red and yellow (drained and cut into strips)
• 1 cup halved grape tomatoes

Cook pasta and reserve 1 cup of water. Coat chicken in olive oil; sprinkle salt and pepper. Grill on stovetop grill pan 4-5 minutes until cooked through. (I just cook it in the oven on 350 for 30 minutes or so). Cut chicken into strips. Add to pasta, pesto, peppers, tomatoes and ½ of pasta water. Mix and serve! Enjoy.

--- The Motherhood Collective is on Facebook. Like us, then comment on our giveaway post for a chance to win a family photo shoot from Adam Barnes Photography. Our contest ends when we hit 500 Likes!

Balancing the Stacks: How Books Have Drawn Me Closer To (And Away From) My Kids

In September, the Motherhood Collective will feature posts on balance - having it or not! It's certainly a state most of us struggle to find. September is, for some, the calm before the storm. Our kids are back in school, fall activities have begun and we have a few precious weeks before we really have to start thinking about the holidays. What better time to take a few minutes to reflect on how we spend our time, juggle our lives and what we can do to achieve our own perfect balance! ~TMC

Last month, I shared with you my dirty little secret: I don't read to my baby.  At this stage in his life, he's more interested in chewing on the books than listening to them.  We talk, we sing, we explore (taste) our collection of board books, but that baby-on-the-lap-before bed traditional storytime is just not part of our bedtime routine.

At least not for my 9 month old.

I also have a daughter who is almost 3.5 (how did that happen?!?) and for her, our bedtime story is sacred.  We really began incorporating books into our bedtime routine when she transitioned to a toddler bed around 20 months.  It was a way of calming her at night, trying to make her drowsy enough that she wouldn't fight bedtime and would stay in her bed after we left the room. I was always the one who read the story, but it was family time, with all three of us--my daughter, my husband, and myself--huddled together on the floor.

And then last December my son was born.  From the day I returned home from the hospital, that bedtime story became "Our Special Time".  With a new baby in the house, one who turned out to be a horrible refluxer and needed even more mama attention than usual, carving time out for my daughter was both a necessity and a challenge.  But we made that storytime a priority.

One night we read a book about a brother and sister who were constantly getting into messes throughout the day.  Hands, feet, and noses always sticky.  For some reason, she latched on to the "sticky noses" phrase and now it's part of the way we say goodnight, a sign of affection, to rub "sticky" noses.  How awesome is that?  That something so simple as a bedtime story could become something so important as a way of saying "I love you"?

Precious, isn't it?

But let's forget about the kiddos for a minute.

Reading is also how I find my own balance and space.  After the kids are in bed, I can be found with my laptop and a pile of library books.  While my husband edits his latest batch of photos, I catch up on the latest in children's literature.  When I was in the classroom, I book-talked with my students constantly.  Literacy is a passion, something I want to share.  It's why I went back to school for my graduate degree in library science.

And then I had kids.  And now instead of being in the classroom, I'm teaching my own little ones at home.

The most challenging part of being a stay-at-home parent?  The lack of adult interaction (can I get an "Amen!"?).  You have to create opportunities, otherwise it is entirely possible to go an entire day  speaking to nobody over three feet tall.  Even with those opportunities, my poor husband still braces himself for an avalanche of stored up conversation the moment he walks in the door.

So I turned to blogging. And blogging led to networking.  And networking allowed me to turn Once Upon A Story into a site where I can share my passion for children's literature, where I can share what I'm reading, where I can get suggestions and chat with other teachers, librarians, and parents.

Mother.  Wife. Teacher.  Librarian. Blogger.

Balance.

--- The Motherhood Collective is on Facebook. Like us, then comment on our giveaway post for a chance to win a family photo shoot from Adam Barnes Photography. Our contest ends when we hit 500 Likes!

The Treasure Box

August is "Back to School" Month at The Motherhood Collective. Over the next few weeks, our writers will be sharing their teaching moments, the ways they encourage learning, their thoughts on education or the things THEY are learning as a parent. Even if your child isn't heading back to the classroom in a few weeks, we hope that our thoughts on learning will inspire you. ~TMC ---

I decided to start schooling my son, Gabriel, a few months ago. He was seven months old at the time. I’m a big believer that schooling and educating does not just take place September through June, in a classroom, from 8:00-3:00, once your child turns six years old. I was homeschooled from Kindergarten through high school, and though I’ve always loved the “bookish” side of things. Some of my fondest school memories are the opportunities I had to experiment outside the classroom—to take head knowledge and apply it to everyday tasks (such as baking, sewing, and piano playing).

I was inspired by a post from the blog www.ellekeepsmoving.com. She writes a post about a Montessori Treasure Basket. The Montessori School of Thought is very student-driven, and it seeks to create an environment in which the child is encouraged to discover on his or her own. Some begin school as early as two months! Many say that it’s an approach that fits very easily with what parents already do with their children—provide opportunities for them to discover the world in very sensory ways. Typically, they turn six, and we then expect them to learn through only reading and writing. The Montessori Method has been called the learning of life, because it is an approach that translates so easily into the every day.

Though my husband and I have not yet decided on our approach to schooling, we do like the idea of providing Gabriel with more than the just the flashy-loud-button-pushing toys that you can find at any store. There is nothing wrong with those toys, but we just feel that in an age of technology (i.e. plenty of button-pushing to go around), this will not encourage the same mental development as putting our son in front of a mound of blocks. Or a pile of cardboard boxes. Or a treasure basket.

A treasure basket is simple, and it has provided hours of fun and learning for my son. I merely found a small basket and filled it with sensory objects from around the house. I tried to provide as many textures as possible for him to experience. Remember to only allow things that are safe to place in the mouth. Some ideas include:

--A ball of yarn --Pieces of felt --New sponges --New paint brush --Silver spoon --Scraps of fabric, ribbon, trim, and fringe --Wooden spoon --Silicone Pastry brushes (his favorite by far!) --A sealed jar filled with dry beans

Place the item in front of your child and enjoy watching him or her explore and learn! Voila! First day of school! Be sure to take a picture!

The treasure basket has kind of bled into the desire to let him explore many areas of our house (the safe areas, of course, and always supervised!). I love watching him dip his head into the food cupboard, and reaching way back to grab the box of macaroni, or letting him pull open the drawers in his bedroom and dump all the clothes on the floor (then watch him fill it with his own toys instead). I love to lay him on a blanket outside, and hand him blades of grass, a flower, and a pine cone. Gabriel now loves following me around the house because he knows that I will give him a small part of whatever I am working on. If I’m folding clothes, he sits right in the basket with the clothes all around him, and hands me one at a time, or plays with the buttons on my husband’s shirt, or sits on the bed and unfolds every piece I’ve just set neatly aside (sigh).

There are many ideas you can find online as well. One of my friends put her boy in the tub, dumped flour and raisins all around him, and let him enjoy digging, throwing, and licking the fun, powdery texture.

Check out this website for more ideas: http://www.ellekeepsmoving.com/2012/02/raising-baby-treasure-basket_1501.html

What are some fun sensory activities that you have enjoyed with your child?

--- The Motherhood Collective is on Facebook. Like us, then comment on our giveaway post for a chance to win a family photo shoot from Adam Barnes Photography. Our contest ends when we hit 500 Likes!

Recipe of the Week - Hard-Boiled Eggs Masala

We love Indian food at our house and I have been making it at home for a while. The nearest Indian restaurant is an hour away, so if we want to eat it, I need to make it! This recipe is a great introduction to Indian cooking because it is very simple to prepare. It is full of flavor and my children love it, but you should cut back on the cayenne to make it less spicy. Serve with rice or bread. 1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper

1/2 teaspoon ground tumeric

1 teaspoon ground cumin

1 teaspoon ground coriander

1 teaspoon fresh lemon juice

3/4 teaspoon salt

freshly ground black pepper

2 tablespoons vegetable oil

1/2 teaspoon cumin seeds

5 tablespoons finely chopped onion

1/2 inch piece fresh ginger, peeled and finely chopped (I like to grate mine)

1 cup canned chopped tomatoes

1/4 teaspoon sugar

3-4 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro

4 hard-boiled eggs, peeled and cut into halves lengthwise

Combine the cayenne, turmeric, ground cumin, ground coriander, lemon juice, salt, black pepper, and 1 tablespoon water in a small bowl.  Mix.

Put the oil in a medium sized, frying pan and set over medium-high heat.  When the oil is hot, put in the cumin seeds.  Ten seconds later, put in the onion and ginger.  Stir and fry until the onion turns medium brown.  Put in the spice paste.  Stir and cook for 15 seconds.  Now put in the tomatoes and sugar.  Bring to a simmer.  Cover and simmer gently for 10 minutes.  Put in the cilantro.  Stir once or twice.  Lay the cut eggs in the sauce and spoon more sauce over them.  Cover and simmer gently for 2 to 3 minutes.

The amount of sauce is just enough, so don't be expecting lots and lots of sauce that you might get at a restaurant.  This serves 2-4.

Taken from Madhur Jaffrey's Quick & Easy Indian Cooking.

A Story of Miscarriage

At the Motherhood Collective, we recognize that not all pregnancy stories have happy endings.  We're committed to supporting women through their childbearing years and while we understand the pain of labor and empathize with that 2 am feeding, sometimes the grief of motherhood is far greater.  Stories about infertility, miscarriage and child loss are stories of motherhood, too.  We are thankful for those of you willing to share your personal experiences, especially the painful ones.  It's our hope that stories like these will help mothers connect with and support one another.  Thank you, Laura, for agreeing to tell your story.  ~TMC --

On July 2nd, we had an appointment scheduled for a first sonogram for our second baby. Due to circumstances beyond our control, I had to cancel that appointment. On Friday June 29th, our unborn baby went to be with the Lord.This is our story.

June 29th was weathered by the Eastern half of the country as the heatwave gave birth to a giant freak windstorm: the derecho. Ninety mile per hour gusts swept through the narrow passages between our 1920s row house. Our daughter, Joanna was asleep before the storm hit, but woke up when the power went out. Our little family waited through 40 minutes of strong winds and frequent lighting and thunder. The winds died down, the lightning danced over the mountain and the power remained off. I held my sweaty baby and sang show tunes to try and lull her back to sleep. My back and stomach were cramping, but my face kept smiling. After all efforts to sing failed, I made her 4oz of a midnight snack and she was eternally grateful. She conked out a few moments later.

When I earned my freedom, I went to the bathroom in the dark.

There was blood.

I checked again with a flashlight.

More blood. Like a period. But more. “Your will be done. Your will be done..” I chant like a monk. It brings an eerie calm to know that all things work for the good of those who love Him, even if 'things' involve losing a pregnancy at 12 weeks.

Do we go to the hospital? Do we wait it out? Who do we call? How do we even get phone numbers?

We have no internet to google "heavy bleeding during pregnancy". We have no internet to look up phone numbers of local doctors. We have limited light to find paperwork that may have a phone number of the hospital. We have no power to control our outcome.

We called our dear friends, Derek and Michelle, to watch our sleeping babe so we can go to the Emergency Room. The city is in darkness. The hospital is running on auxiliary power and only the vital machines are running. No vending machines, bathroom lights or television to distract from our thoughts.

12:30: We arrive, check-in, and they tell me they’ll get me back to triage as soon as possible.

1:00: Nurse Betty took my vitals and told us, “Usually you’d be back there by now, but tonight is kind of a disaster. The power outage caused a lot of car accidents and we don’t have any beds. Even the beds in the hall are filled. We’ll get you back there as soon as we can, Sweetie.”

2:00: Guy with a tree branch between his toes comes in cussing. Sits near the overweight mother and daughter and adjacent to a homeless gentleman.

2:45: I’m taken in the back to have an ultrasound. The nurse first tries on my stomach but my bladder is too full and I have too much gas to get a clear picture. She also says I have a tilted uterus. Thanks. So I pee and we try a transvaginal ultrasound. She quietly wiggles the wand to get snapshots of all of my important innards. I can tell when she finds the baby. It’s not moving. She goes to the screen where it shows the heartbeat. It’s a straight line; no heartbeat. She says nothing as she goes to the next screen.

4:15: I’m wheeled into a hallway.

4:30: Vitals are taken by another nice nurse who assures us that we will be seen soon.

5:13: Started hating the doctor and his stupid face.

5:15: "Where the hell is his stupid face."

5:35: Doctor comes in, confirming that there is no heartbeat. He said the baby was smaller than 12 weeks, so it likely stopped thriving around 10 or 11 weeks. He gives me drugs, sets up an appointment for another ultrasound and says he wishes us luck in the future. His face isn't nearly as stupid as I presumed.

6:00: The 3rd nice nurse returns with ginger ale and drugs. She genuinely asks "How are you feeling". I love her. She sends us on our way.

We arrive home in the sunlight at around 6:30 after weaving around tree branches once more. Traffic lights are still out, but the birds are chirping and the heat has not yet begun its terrible reign upon our powerless heads. It’s a gorgeous morning. We thank Michelle and Derek profusely for watching Joanna for us in our emergency. I’m still in shock and can’t really accept their “I’m so sorrys”. I’m still in the logical stages of the news; emotions haven't hit yet.Although I was only 12(ish) weeks along, I could feel that he was a boy – I just knew it. We were calling him Buddy because he would be joining us for Christmas.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Aftershock

[June 30] Jonathan moved Joanna’s pack n play to the living room to watch her from the couch with his eyes closed. She thankfully entertained herself while Jonathan snored.

About 1/5 of Lynchburg is doing fine, with power, AC, water, and only a few leaves scattered across their lawns. When the traffic lights get dark, you can see lawns with debris, broken tree trunks, and smashed cars. Strange winds. We decide that our powerless home isn’t safe for our baby so we pack our things, dump our trash, wrangle the cat, and head north to my parents’ house.

Jonathan’s grandmother called me. She said that God knew our baby wasn't well enough for this world so He took him to Heaven. I started crying and she apologized for making me upset - I was crying at the beautiful image of God taking care of my sweet baby.

We arrived at my childhood home and my mom watched Joanna while Jonathan and I had some quiet time to process. It was the first time we'd been able to just sit in an air-conditioned room with no 'next step' to plan. We sat and talked about what happened. We talked about that it may be God's will that Joanna be a role model and older sister to her sibling instead of an Irish twin. We talked about how we didn't want to push down the sadness but rather use it to remember him. We talked about the nice nurses. We talked about what movies we wanted to see. We just talked. It was so nice to just talk.

I think the hardest thing is that I’m going to miss imagining what he'd be like.

10-25% of pregnancies end in a miscarriage [according to the American Pregnancy Organization], yet few women talk about their experiences. I didn't want to be silent about our loss. If anything I want those 10-25% to know they aren't alone.

We're placed into communities for a reason: to be with each other. We're here to help, hug, humble, and grow with together.

If you’d like to read more or know of someone that would benefit from hearing our story, please share this link: http://www.housebrokenmom.blogspot.com/search/label/miscarriage

Kidz Kraze Children's Consignment Sale is Around the Corner!

“I’m a first time mom… I need everything…  He has no winter clothes… We need shoes… I love girl clothes, and I just can’t stop buying… It’s all so expensive!”

We’ve been there! The semi-annual Kidz Kraze Consignment Sale has been the solution for many! Whether you are in need of everything, clothes for your ever-growing toddler, or Christmas presents for your nieces and nephews, Kidz Kraze is for you!

Offering superbly organized and gently used consignment merchandise from hundreds of local families just like you, this is truly a “one-stop-shop”.

The Fall Sale runs from September 10 – 15 at the Lynchburg First Church of the Nazarene on Wards Ferry Rd. Visit the Kidz Kraze site here for more details on when you can shop and how to volunteer, allowing yourself to be eligible for pre-sales galore!

Mark your calendars today and make sure to swing by the last day of the sale to shop 50% off and visit your friends from The Motherhood Collective!

Winner of the 250 Facebook Likes Giveaway

Thank you to everyone who entered the 250 Facebook Likes Giveaway. And a huge thanks to Sweet Sparrow again for donating the beautiful handbag! 

The winner is:

Congratulations, Kayde! We will email you shortly with information about how to collect your winnings.

Don't forget to check out the Sweet Sparrow Etsy Shop and like Sweet Sparrow on Facebook for product sneak peeks!

Recipe of the Week - "Lauren" Bars

Confession. I’m in love with Lara Bars. Too much. Too much for my pocket book, that is. So I was thrilled when I stumbled upon this ultra simple recipe of my favorite treat. I’ve played with all of the proportions, and I can guarantee you that you really cannot mess them up! I’ll throw in a few of my alterations at the bottom: Ingredients: •1/3 cup nuts (cashews, almonds, etc) •1/4 cup whole dates (remove pits)-about 3 large dates (more if dried) •1/4 cup raisins (or more dates) •dash of cinnamon (optional) Directions: 1. Put nuts into food processor and chop until in small pieces. Remove and put in bowl. 2. Put dates and raisins (any combination of the two that equals 1/2 cup total) into the food processor and pulse until play dough consistency. It will start to clump together when it is done. 3. Mix the two ingredients by hand until well incorporated and the consistency of stiff playdough or cookie dough. (You can do this all in the food processor also) 4. Roll between two sheets of wax paper to a 1/2 inch thickness and cut into bars. (Or make it really easy and just roll into energy balls!) 5. Wrap in wax paper, plastic wrap or snack size ziploc bags (or glass containers if you aren’t giving to kids) and store in fridge until ready to use. Enjoy!

Ok, a few of my favorite variations with APROXIMATE measurements (I did most to taste):

Cinnamon Raisin Cookie: •1/2 cup almonds •15 dried dates •1/2 cup raisins •1 T. (or more) cinnamon

Apple Pie: •1/2 cup almonds •15 dried dates •1/2 dried apple slices •1 T. (or more) cinnamon •½ t. nutmeg

Cashew Cookie: •1/2 cup cashews •15 dried dates

Cherry Pie: •1/2 cup almonds •15 dried dates •1/2 dried cherries •1 t. (or more) cinnamon •½ t. nutmeg

Original source – http://wellnessmama.com/1047/amazing-homemade-energy-bars-the-wellness-bar/

Please share some of your experiments with us!

If you have a favorite recipe you'd like to share with our readers, please submit it here or email us at submissions@themotherhoodcollective.org.

The Motherhood Collective is on Facebook. Like us, then comment on our giveaway post for a chance to win a family photo shoot from Adam Barnes Photography. Our contest ends when we hit 500 Likes!

You Just Never Know (Until You Know)

 

I want to talk about my five-month-old, and pee, and the Dunning-Kruger effect.

Nine years — almost my entire adult life — I have worked as an educator. My husband is a college professor too. Education, facts and research are a big part of our lives, and we were willing suckers for every baby book and doodad that claims to be somehow educational. Black and white brain stimulating mobile? Check. Baby sign language? Alphabet sheets to somehow ooze literacy into his wispy baby head? Check check. But even after just a few months with our little boy, I feel like, cliché or not, really it's I who have most to learn.

Most people are familiar with the paradoxical phenomenon called the Dunning-Kruger effect, even if they’ve never heard of it before. Basically two Cornell researchers did a bunch of observations indicating that in general, the more you actually know about a topic, the more you worry that you don’t know enough. And, not coincidentally, the less you truly know, the more likely you are to overestimate your own expertise! Now, if you're like me, you can instantly, snarkily think of one or two people in your life who this just perfectly applies to. But maybe it’s more useful if we each were first to try applying it to ourselves.

Raising my hand right here: I was a classic Dunning-Kruger parenting “expert” before my baby was born. Reading and note-taking are kind of my favorite thing ever, so I researched the very soul out of every single newborn issue I could imagine. Nine glorious months of page-turning and highlighting! I knew that parts of my pregnancy, birth, and parenting journey would be out of my hands, and parts I could do my best to control. Statistics and anecdotal evidence alike were ready and confident on the tip of my tongue. I spent time reading birth stories of every possible variation of experience. And I don't regret any of that reading, or thinking, or planning. It helped me do pregnancy my way, and made so much of the unknown feel safer to me. Yet within a few weeks of my actual son’s actual arrival? Even though in fact I suddenly had much more experience, I felt so much less of an expert.

Despite having great support, I found there were so many things that felt harder than I had anticipated. It isn't that nobody warned me; on the contrary I had several honest mama friends who shared their hearts and tried to prepare me for the changes newborn life would bring. But nothing really could. So many of the shortcuts, tips, and tricks that had been “lifesavers” for my mama friends didn’t work for me, or for my baby, at all. Even some of the issues I thought I would feel most passionate about, in my prenatal fits of highlighting, ended up falling away as I found myself with a new, smaller set of certainties. Here are just a few of the things I held on to in those early days:

• Things will get easier. Even though every age will have its challenges, newborn life is a tough adjustment for almost all new parents. The roller coaster cliché is true. But it will be okay.

• It’s only a little pee. Let’s just say my standards of what constitutes a true midnight laundry emergency have… evolved.

• Don’t mess with happy. Whether it’s the baby’s happiness, or my own, I have realized how much I tend to over-meddle. He's asleep with his head flopping to the side? That can't be comfortable... maybe if I just "fix" it... You see where this is going, right? It’s not always wise to try to perfect something that is already working out okay.

• Let him see you smiling. He looks to me so often in this phase of his life. Okay, at first he mostly stared at my hairline or maybe the ceiling fan, but pretty soon he realized it's the parents who are the first center of his universe. So I don’t want to always have my brow furrowed, to always be worrying about the next thing that could somehow be better. I want him to see me smile, because really? We have a lot to smile about.

And even any of these, I know, might not ring true for any one reader in particular. My point is: Not one of them would have seemed like an important idea to me back when I was an expert. And it's this change, from the researched knowledge to the experienced, that no one could really prepare me for.

I still read a lot, when I can fit it in. I still care about doing the best I can to make reasonable decisions on issues that come up. But as my little boy grows, I continue to realize how much is probably out there that I still really don’t know. There are times when I imagine all the questions ahead of us, all the things I don't even know I don't know yet, and within me anxiety starts to rise. But when it does, I try my best to remember good old Dunning-Kruger, take a deep breath, and remind myself that maybe, just maybe, the less I feel like I confidently know “for sure” as a parent, the more I’ve actually learned.

--- The Motherhood Collective is on Facebook. Like us, then comment on our giveaway post for a chance to win a family photo shoot from Adam Barnes Photography. Our contest ends when we hit 500 Likes!

250 Facebook Likes Giveaway!

We are so excited that our Facebook fan page is growing! We promised a giveaway when we reached 250 likes so here we are!

Sweet Sparrow has generously offered this chic Round Satchel Handbag (valued at $45!) for us to gift to one of our faithful readers. It is so sweet, I wish I could win it myself! To enter the giveaway, simply leave a comment on this blog post. You can gain more entries by sharing this blog post and/or our Fan Page on Facebook, Twitter or your personal blog. Just be sure to leave a comment for each individual entry so we can count them!

We will close the giveaway at 11:59pm on Wednesday, August 22nd. The winner will be announced Thursday here on the blog.

In the meantime, please check out the Sweet Sparrow Etsy Shop and like Sweet Sparrow on Facebook for product sneak peeks!