The Journey is actually the Destination

A lot of times, in life and parenting, I feel like I'm on a carnival ride. Sometimes it entertains me and other times it makes me queasy.It seems like I am always looking forward to tomorrow; to the next stage in life, to the next developmental milestone for my kids, to a time where I can slow down and enjoy myself. Well, Self, that time needs to be NOW. How is it that I stop and think and realize my son is almost a year and a half old?! I always think about what I was doing this time last year, or the year before, and wonder how time has moved so fast! I used to scoff when people would tell me, "It[time] goes so fast, especially when you have children". I didn't believe them. Then, I found myself wishing time away because I was so impatient to accomplish something or to witness another big step in my sons life. I couldn't wait until he could crawl, then I couldn't wait for him to walk, now I hardly remember the crawling stage. How did that go by so quickly?

I recently read on a recipe blog that "the journey is the destination" (Source: therebelchick.com). Wow, I had never thought of life like that. I'm always aiming at a goal but I lose sight of how I get there, or what happened along the way. Sure, in the moment, I think that I'm cherishing my kids and my life, but as a whole I'm so not as present as I want to be! I'm always rushing, even when I don't have any kind of time constraints. Once, I made it into Walmart, with a toddler, got the 15+ items on my list, and made it out to my car in ten minutes. Why am I proud of that? Thinking back, I don't even think I had anything pressing. Do I really need to move like a maniac in a store to get the things I need and get home? No. The simple answer is NO. Yes, there are times when rushing is required but on a regular day would it kill me to let my son walk through the store and look at whatever he wants more than once and awhile? When he points at something and says, "Doh" why can't I wheel him over there so he can get a closer look at what has grabbed his attention more often than not? These are small and frivolous things but if I can't do that, how am I to change the big things?

The Journey is the Destination. Where do I want to go as a parent, as a friend, as a daughter or a sister? How can I make my Journey more meaningful and deliberate? Maybe that is the key, being deliberate. I'm challenging myself this month to actively stop, breathe, and savor the everyday moments that I take for granted. Will you take that challenge with me?

Recipe of the Week: Breakfast Puffs

Have you ever made Yorkshire pudding? I hadn't even heard of it until I was watching Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives on Food Network a few weeks ago. A Yorkshire pudding is a savory bread-like dish that is simultaneously crispy, chewy, and all around delicious!

I decided to make a sweet, breakfast version so here is my recipe for Breakfast Puffs!  They are a cross between a muffin, doughnut, and a pancake.

They are so easy that my son (who calls them "Hush Puppies"…go figure?) asked me to make them on a school morning and I easily agreed (granted, school starts at 8:35 for us so…we had a bit of time).

Ingredients:

1 cup milk

3 eggs

dash of salt

2 TBS sugar

1 tsp vanilla

1 cup flour

Vegetable oil

Sliced strawberries

powdered sugar

Make it!

Preheat oven to 425 (key step!).

Warm milk in microwave for 60 seconds. This helps bring all the ingredients (including the cold eggs) to room temperature for optimum PUFF while baking.

In a blender, add milk, eggs, salt, sugar, vanilla, and then flour on top. Blend until smooth. Scrape down sides to incorporate all the flour and blend again if necessary.

Carefully pour one teaspoon of oil into 10 cups of a regular muffin tin. Put the muffin on a sheet pan (to  catch any overflow while the puffs cook) and put the tin in the oven while it is preheating. You want the oil to get nice and hot (but not smoke! so keep an eye on it. I usually put the tin in when the oven is half way heated and the oil does just fine).

Slice the strawberries and add a little sugar so they will make their own syrup. Set aside.

When the oven is preheated, pull the muffin tin out and carefully pour the batter into the cups, filling 2/3 of the way full. This recipe makes 10 puffs.

Put the tin back in the oven and set the timer for 25 minutes.

This recipe is very entertaining to watch bake! The puffs start out as a really thin, unimpressive batter and then they quickly puff up as they cook. It is really exciting. (if you get excited about food. I do!) I have actually put a chair in front of my oven and watched them bake the entire time! (can you say "food nerd"?) This morning, though, I took a shower while they baked. Hey, it was a school morning, after all.

When they are done, the puffs should be huge, (3+ inches above the tin) and golden brown. Loosen the puffs with a small knife and place them on a paper towel lined plate upside down to drain off some of the oil.

Note: The ONLY downside to these puffs is that they are hard to get out of the pan. I have tired cooking spray + oil, butter, more oil, etc. and every method sticks. So…just be prepared. But they are worth it, I promise!

Sprinkle puffs with powdered sugar and top with strawberries. Serve to your hungry kiddos!

Serves 4-6.

Yum! They are filling and delicious: crispy, chewy, and slightly sweet. Mmmm!

Enjoy!

Single Mom Survival Guide: Adventures in Dating

I am quickly approaching the two year anniversary of my newly-"re"found singlehood, and feel like I am finally in a place where I can think about dating again. I tackled my relationship fears early on, regrouped on my own, got my life together, and have really embraced being single. There are a lot of aspects of being on my own that I really do enjoy, especially after so many years as a couple. I make my own decisions, I don't rely so much on second opinions, and I can hog the whole bed at night. But at the same time, I am ready for companionship from someone. Someone who makes me laugh. Someone to go to dinner or the movies with. Someone to have grown up conversations with, to travel with, and to let into my life again. I tried my hand at dating early on in the divorce process. It wasn't an effort to find Mr. Right so much as an exercise to see if I still had "it." I was searching for confirmation that, despite my sleepless nights caring for tiny kids and long work days in a poorly lit cubicle hopped up on caffeine and stress, I could still pull myself together, dress myself up, and be capable of attracting the opposite sex. But there is a lot of truth to the idea that you will attract the wrong people when you're not comfortable with being on your own. Most of the people I met were in the same boat as me: recently divorced, bitter, untrusting. Or they were guys just playing the field - something I was never fond of even when I was younger. These dates all went horribly, and I immediately thought it must be me. I was attacting losers, so I must be a loser too. I was embarassed to even talk about these dates, because I thought my friends would think I was nuts. But after a few drinks with friends, these dating horror stories made for good entertainment. And I quickly learned that everyone has been through it, and a bad date (or 10) doesn't make you a bad catch.

So as I embark on this dating adventure again, I reached out to my friends for some funny dating stories from their journeys to find Mr. (and Mrs.!) right. It's always nice to know I'm not alone in this crazy search for love. And as a tribute to those friends that make me laugh every day and remind me that I'm still a hot tamale, I'm sharing some of our most classic dating gems from our archives.

(Disclaimer: Identities have been hidden to protect the innocent, and their stories have been censored to protect the faint of heart. The unrated versions are raunchy and fabulous.)

"I found what I refer to as a solid gold online match: an engineer, who was good looking and seemed nice enough. We met for dinner on a Friday night. He refused to eat, since he made waffle fries at home prior to the date. He also looked nothing like his picture, and in fact resembled the lizard creature from Monsters Inc. He was the most miserable person I've ever met. He told me about his horrible job, which turns out he wasn't in any way an engineer. An hour into the date, he informed me that his mother was there with us at the very same bar. Super! Trying to sneak out wasn't an option, so I spent the next 40 minutes getting acquainted with his mother, who was drunk and high on narcotics, as she recently had back surgery. Between screaming "what's this girl's name again?" and falling off of her bar stool, she did engage me with an unforgettable yet compelling conversation about Chris Daughtry's new album. As my date and I were leaving, he asked to see me again. Umm, were we just in the same air space?!?! No way! Unless of course your mom is coming again."

"I went out on a blind date with a guy right before I was going to be out of town for two weeks on vacation. He made a comment over dinner that it was a shame I was going away, because he had 'needs' that wouldn't be taken care of. At this point in the evening, I was pretty drunk, so I flipped out over chicken fajitas and told him that sleeping with me is a privilege and that he should take care of his own needs."

"I met a guy through a dating website, who seemed like a nice guy trying to make conversation. Like each person on a dating website, I checked out his profile immediately after reading his message. The guy seemed normal, good looking, 5'10" height, great! So we scheduled a date to meet for sushi. Date night arrives and he texts me that he's outside. I jump in his SUV, and we head to my favorite sushi place. As we park and I get out of the car, I look over and couldn't see him after he jumped out. I suddenly see him appear from around the hood of the car and realize that this guy is no where near 5 feet tall, let alone 5'10". Not what I expected, and not a great night to wear platform heels. I looked like a giant!"

"I went on a date with a guy I met through a dating website. He asked me to meet him at a Dunkin Donuts on a Saturday afternoon. He stared at my chest the whole time and proceeded to tell me he was waiting for his new teeth to come in, since his actual teeth were broken in a car accident. He then segued into conversation about his grandmother, who keeps asking him when he is going to get married and settle down. He says, 'I just haven't found the right girl, but maybe I won't have to look any further.' We then head to the movies, and the only movie playing was the kids' Disney movie, 'Up.' We were the first ones in the theater, so he tries to make out with me. I stop him just before the theater starts to fill up with little kids and their parents. After the date, I say thank you for the nice time but that I didn't feel any connection. So he asks if I like German guys because he has a German friend who just recently broke up with his girlfriend that tried to stab him. I wasn't really sure how to nicely respond to that."

"New to world of attempting to date while in my 30s, and after serious pressure from my friends, I thought 'what the hell' and put myself back out there. I was in my early 30s, divorced, good career, attractive, and slightly athletic, I should be a catch! One evening, I met a very attractive woman in her late 20s for drinks at a local bar. I pull up nervously to the bar and wait outside. Within minutes, a HUGE diesel pickup truck pulls up and my lovely 'lady' emerges. We exchange awkward hellos and went in to get a drink. After the introductions and first round was purchased, she immediately withdrew her phone and began texting. Minutes drug by and I chugged my beer as fast as possible. After what seemed like an eternity, we finally began the horribly awkward conversation. As she loosened up, she told me the story of her long-time ex boyfriend who now resides in federal prison convicted of embezzlement (and showed me the article online to prove it). She bragged about how awesome that relationship was because he bought her a house 30 minutes away and let her do whatever and whomever she pleased as long as she was ready for him when he needed her. Wow. At this point, I ordered another drink. Not because I had ANY interest in this shallow, monster truck driving 'lady,' but because it was just far too entertaining to leave. Over the course of the next 2 hours, she told stories of a myriad of other awful situations. Finally, the booze began getting the better of her and she really came to life. She began making fun of EVERYONE in the bar, LOUDLY. And I don't mean the light jabs about this fella's mullet or that girl squeezing into yoga pants - I mean rude, cruel, awful things about everyone's appearance, clothing, demeanor, laughs, voices, race, you name it. I was mortified because people were beginning to look at us, and I was even quite sad for this horribly vane, disgusting excuse for a human being. I quickly looked at my phone and excused myself."

Putting yourself out there is an adventure in itself. You definitely have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince or princess the second time around. I'm looking forward to the challenge - I'm definitely a handful, so I'm sure I have been the topic of someone's nightmare dating story at a bar somewhere. If nothing else, these frog tales make for great happy hour conversation, so I always look forward to drinks with friends. I wish you the best on your post-divorce dating adventure!

Do You Have Any More Questions?

Our pediatrician asked us this question 4 times at our 18 month check up. The first time she asked, we brought up potty training right away.  Our son is starting to tell us when he poops (he gets it right about 50% of the time). By the third time she asked us, I looked at my husband and we both had this look that said: "uh oh. is NOT having any questions bad?"

The fourth time, my husband and I had this silent conversation with our eyes:

Do we have any questions?  SHOULD WE? I don't have any questions, do you? What are we forgetting?? Is she expecting us to ask a very important question about our child??? ARE WE FAILING THIS QUIZ???? AHHHHH!!

We both said no, the doctor left, shots were administered and we all headed out to lunch. In talking together later my husband and I both decided that not having questions was OK.  Good, in fact.  It means we finally feel like we've GOT THIS.  This parenting thing - we are, in fact, NAILING it.  How, you ask?

PERSONAL TIME.

I can't stress this encourage this enough.  I'm not just talking date night, or taking "a personal day"/"grandparents visit" to go home and clean something.  I'm not talking about calling a baby sitter so you can go out with friends.  These things are ALL important, don't get me wrong, but nothing compares to that sacred ALONE time.

Let me preface what I'm about to say with this:  We are VERY fortunate to have a very nearby support system in both sets of grandparents.  This affords us the luxury of personal time that single parents, parents of multiples, parents of children with disabilities, and parents who are isolated from support by geography have to fight to sometimes get.

I want just want YOU to know that I know I am speaking from a privileged place.

With that said, if you are in one of the more challenging parenting situations, it's even MORE important for you to carve out this personal time that I'm talking about.

This is YOUR time. Only you. Not as mommy, wife, daughter, friend. Just you. Take yourself out for a cup of coffee.  Leave the husband and child at home for 1 hour and go shopping FOR YOURSELF. Take a quick jog in the park. Do some yoga.

DO ANYTHING. ALONE.  Pick up an old hobby, learn a new language, or try something new.

The point, dear ones -my parents in crime- is that we HAPPILY give SO MUCH of ourselves to the little ones we hold so dear, that at some point, for our mental and emotional heath, we MUST recharge: we MUST decompress.

It feels impossible. Guilt will tell you you're making the wrong choice by choosing yourself over _______.  You may even be MORE stressed out by the suggestion of spending time alone.

I'm here to tell you:

It IS possible.  You can find 15 minutes a week.  It's there. I promise. Maybe step away from the TV/iPad and go for that walk while baby is safe.  15 minutes to start is all you need.

You are NOT making the wrong choice.  On plane safety cards, we are told to put oxygen on ourselves BEFORE the person/child sitting next to you.  Why is that? If you can't breathe, how can you help anyone around you? This is the same with life. If you are maxed-out, over-stressed, at your limit, SPENT, and you don't take a moment, a breath, to recharge, how can you give your best to others?

But MOST IMPORTANTLY: You are SO worth it.

Budgeting Hacks from a Freelancer Mom

So you’ve made a decision to be a stay-at-home mom. Despite all efforts to balance work-life, 24 hours just doesn’t seem enough for both family and career. You know that there are many other jobseekers waiting to take your job, but there is only one person who can best take care of your kids – and that’s you.

The whole idea just sounds liberating, but there are worries that go with the life ahead. You know that giving up your income means cutting down your savings too. Well there are always ways to balance income and spending. Here are 10 budgeting hacks for stay-home moms.

1. Income vs. Spending

Logically, the income you gave up from your career must equal your cuts in spending. Fortunately, not having to go to office has already saved you some money effortlessly – from transportation to designer clothing and commercial food. Now all you need is to find a few more sources of potential savings. Try searching in your credit card bill. You might find some habitual purchases that aren’t necessary after all.

2. Be creative

When cutting down on unnecessary purchases isn’t enough, it’s time to cut down on the basics. This doesn’t mean a complete turnaround in your lifestyle. It may only entail a little creativity, like redesigning your home to conserve energy and water. Consider these simple ways of achieving sustainable home designs:

·         Insulate your home. Insulating acts as a barrier to prevent heat from passing in during summer, and passing out during winter.

·         Use energy-efficient lighting, like LED and CFL bulbs.

·         Choose efficient appliances with positive product reviews.

·         Turning electrical appliances off, instead of leaving them in standby mode also saves on energy.

·         Collect rainwater for your plants.

3. Downsize a bit

You may also consider downsizing your house to a townhouse or condo. Find one that provides the right living space for your family. It can provide you the same comfort while saving on mortgage/rent and maintenance costs.

4. Do it yourself

As you spend more time at home, you may discover that there are services you formerly paid for that you can now do yourself like housekeeping and babysitting. Aside from saving money, you’ll see that sometimes, nobody can do the job better than the big boss.

5. Home cooking

Even a budget meal in a restaurant could not compare with the taste (and cost) of mama’s home cooking. This also allows you to choose the right food that satisfies your family’s nutritional needs.

6. Plan ahead

Of course, you don’t want to miss on birthday celebrations and family vacations. When big expenditures like these come along, it’s best to plan ahead. This keeps you from splurging, while keeping the occasion as special and memorable as you intend it to be.

7. Garage sale

Budgeting is not all about cutting on costs, but finding additional sources of income too. Why not try having a garage sale. As your kids grow, you’ll find lots of stuff that they’ve outgrown that are still worth selling.

8. Create and sell

Your old stuff may not be only thing worth selling. It’s time to look into things you can create that others cannot, or simply don’t have time to do. Beaded jewelry, arts and crafts, cakes and cookies – these may just be some things you can make and sell for extra income.

9. Online selling

Well it doesn’t have to be your own creation. You can source products worth selling to your neighbors and friends. Selling online further expands your market without requiring you to leave your home.

10. Establish a career at home

Being a stay-home mom does not necessarily mean the end of your career. As your kids grow, you’ll also find the need to grow and expand your horizon and establish a career at home. Good thing, there are home-based jobs, such as online careers that allow you to keep your talents useful.

As moms, we are always willing to make the necessary sacrifices for our kids’ physical and emotional wellbeing. But this doesn’t mean we need to sacrifice on our budget items and personal growth. It only takes a few adjustments to shift from career woman to stay-home mom. Once you’ve overcome the adjustments, you’ll be amazed to see that with the same 24 hours a day, attending to your kids, balancing you finances and using to your talents to earn extra income are all possible.

by Jona Jone

Jona Jone is a Washington Times Communities writer and a mother of 2 (going 3) kids.

Green Diets For Mothers-to-be

During my first pregnancy, I read articles for pregnant women about what do and what not to do, what to eat and the food must be avoided. It’s amazing to see how modern discoveries have set a new diet plan for pregnant women, and with these came new terms that were formerly unheard of. One of these is folic acid.

According to one article, taking folic acid before and during pregnancy can help prevent birth defects of your baby's brain and spinal cord. Among the foods rich in folic acid are green leafy vegetables – the darker and leafier, the more concentrated is the foliate. So is green diet good for pregnant women?

The Green Benefits

Surely, green diet has its benefits. They are rich in vitamins and minerals, plus fiber that are essential in prenatal months. Aside from its dietary benefits, these plants are useful for pregnant women in more ways. Try including lettuce, for instance, in your indoor plants. Lettuce likes plenty of sun from south-facing windows. During my pregnancy, these greens helped create a relaxing mood, plus the added oxygen it brings to my home helped relieve the nauseating feeling. Not only that, it is counted as one of the fast growing plants, so it’s sure to grow way ahead before your baby is born. Now that’s proof of plants being one of the health and productivity hacks.

Add More to the Green

Yes, dark green leafy vegetables may give you your needed fiber and 0.4 mg of folic acid, but that’s not all there is in a pregnant woman’s diet. There are other essential nutrients that a green diet cannot offer, so don’t forget to add these in your meal plan:

·         6-11 servings of bread and grains

An expert says you should consume about 300 more calories per day than you did before you became pregnant.

·         2-4 servings of fruit, plus 4 or more servings of vegetables

Citrus fruits like orange, lemon and grapefruits are good sources of vitamin C, while yellow vegetables like carrots and pumpkins are good sources of vitamin A.

·         4 servings of dairy products

This will help ensure that you get your needed 1000-1300 mg of calcium daily

·         3 servings of protein sources (meat, poultry, fish, eggs or nuts)

These foods are rich in iron too.

·         Use fats and sweets sparingly

The Green Drink

For a pregnant woman, especially the picky-eaters like me, this recommended diet sounds too much to take. Plus we do not want to put on the unnecessary weight. The good news is, there are trends in diet that allow us to take all the needed nutrients in a convenient and appetizing way. Try preparing a green drink. This is a mixture of green vegetables, plus every other healthy ingredient that you might find in your fridge, like avocado. Don’t be afraid to experiment with other ingredients like apples too. Put them in a blender to prepare a juice or a smoothie. If it works well for the health buffs and the weight conscious who count their calorie and nutrient intake, it should work well for pregnant mothers too. But don’t forget that this is not meant to replace your meal. It is simply a dietary supplement.

Eating for Two

It’s not just the greens but all the colored fruits and vegetables – red, orange, yellow, purple and white – that ensure a variety of nutrients for you and your baby. Interestingly, expert dietician Karin Hosenfeld adds, “During the later stages of pregnancy, the baby 'tastes' the foods you eat through the amniotic fluid. So if you expose your baby to a variety of healthy fruits and vegetables in the womb, you'll increase the chance that your baby will recognize and accept those flavors later on."

As a pregnant mom, you don’t need to go on a special diet to ensure the nutritional needs for you and your baby. All it takes is a good variety, balance and moderation. Remember that what you eat today defines the well-being of your baby. So go and give him a healthy headstart so he is well-prepared to face the world.

About the author:

EMILY HARPER - I am housewife, a mother, and active member of our neighborhood watch. I empower families on how to ensure safety by investing in home security technology.

You can read more by Emily on her blog at www.securityocean.com

Boundaries, Possibilities, and the Infamous "No"

No. You cannot have cat litter for breakfast again. No: mommy's nipple (or eyeball, mouth, hair, ear...) is not a toy. No, the popsicle is only for eating. No- the dog cannot have your chocolate. No. No. No! ...We parents say no a lot, and these are all valid reasons to say no. Anyone who has been around a two year old for more than 2 seconds hears this word brazenly retorted in rebut to even the simplest request. As parents, our lips tire of the word. Yet I worry what impact it is having on our impressionable little ones, particularly during infancy. My daughter is 8 months old today, and already I feel like I am dropping no's like they're hot. She is grabbing everything I hold, hitting her friend in the face, and screaming higher than a troupe of preteen girls at a Bieber concert... While I don't want to be a "no" Nazi, she needs to know that some things are dangerous, untimely, rude, or wrong. She cannot become a well adjusted adult human without understanding the boundaries and consequences of the world.

What's a parent to do?

We should start by asking ourselves who we want our child to become. Personally, I want my Bobblehead to be an honest optimist: to see opportunity in the world. I want her to see what she can do, not what she can't... To focus on the solution, not the limitation.

So I have decided to correct in ways that are specific, and ideally that beg the question in the affirmative.

...Say wha'?

Let's go back to the Bieber concert. Instead of a sharp "no" or a long-winded, "Screaming like that is unacceptable in a restaurant", I will choose to say "not here" which begs the question "then where?". Over time, her brain's neural pathways will forge patterns of working past a restriction to find a solution. Consequently, Baby asks herself what is appropriate and how she can better manage her own behaviors, which  ultimately boosts independence and self-esteem! Good examples of positive corrections are:

Not now. (Then when?) Not like that. (Then how?) Not here. (Then where?) Not that loud. (Then how loud?) Not so much. (Then how much?) Not on the floor. (Then where does it go?) And so on...

Of course, answer your sweetie if they ask you the subsequent question. Suggest alternatives if they seem confused with how to proceed. Another example, if my darling screamo daughter decides to entertain everyone at the restaurant with a crescendo of high C#, I might quickly say, "Aria Rose, not so loud... (Then changing to a whisper tone) Whisper." I am correcting her behavior in the direction of an affirmative question, but also providing her the answer and modeling the preferred behavior. In the (distant) future, I expect to only say "not so loud" prompting her to ask herself what volume is appropriate and adjust accordingly.

A final note: correct your beloved little with a tone that appropriately matches the situation. Yes, you may have said "not now" more times today than Barney ever sang 'I Love You', but try not to lose your ever-loving mind and calmly say "not now" once more. Conversely, if your child is about to chase his ball into the street, a sharp firm "no!" is going to be taken far more seriously, and rightly so. Safety before education.

To sum it up, kids need boundaries, but I don't want to produce a child that sees a world full of no. Ask yourself who you want your child to be. Consider correcting in a manner that encourages your child to ask themselves what is appropriate. Finally, use appropriate tone.

(This effort is my way of applying knowledge of developmental neurobiology, basic behavior modification, and filial play therapy to my parenting. Ask me if you care to know more.)

Who do you want your child to become? What techniques do you find helpful and beneficial for achieving that goal? What techniques have you tried that did not seem to take?

Recipe of the Week - Creamy Shrimp Pasta

 

I love to cook and I enjoy improvising from recipes I find online (or watch on Food Network or the Cooking Channel) to make dishes my own.  One of the super-easy recipes I make almost weekly is for Creamy Shrimp Pasta.  Now, I don't have specific measurements - I tend to cook to taste, so all of these directions should be amended to whatever size meal you are making and to your specific preferences.

Start some pasta cooking.  Hubby likes fettuccini, so that I what I use most often, but this dish would be yummy with any kind of pasta.

I use whatever size shrimp I have in the freezer (and that just depends on what I find on sale) and thaw and peel it.  I then sauté some chopped garlic (I like a lot of garlic, but, again, make this to taste!) in olive oil to start cooking.  Before the garlic is fully cooked, I add the thawed & peeled shrimp to cook up until they are just pink (it really only takes 3-4 minutes, depending the size of the shrimp).

Once the shrimp are cooked, I add some white wine and let that cook to burn off a little of the alcohol (this step can absolutely be left out if you prefer!).  To finish the dish, I add some heavy cream, salt, pepper and some cayenne pepper or red pepper flakes for a little heat.

Then toss the sauce with the fettuccini (or your pasta of choice), perhaps grate some parmesan cheese over it (if you are cheese lovers like we are) and serve!

Why I'm Okay with My Little Girl Wanting to be a Princess

I have wanted to write this post for a while now. I just hadn’t found the time, but early this morning I saw a post that irritated me enough to get me to start writing. The post was called 12 Very Important Messages for Princess Loving Girls . What irritated me most about the post, you ask? Basically, everything in the post is telling girls THEIR choice to be a princess is WRONG.

Isn’t that the opposite of what we are trying to teach them by breaking down gender stereotypes? Aren’t we trying to show them that IT’S OKAY for them to be WHO THEY WANT TO BE!

I’ve seen it so many times that we shouldn’t encourage our girls to be princesses because all they do, is wait to be rescued. Instead we are to encourage them to be superheroes. Great! Let’s take a look at the most popular.

Let’s encourage our children to be Ironman, a spoiled rich kid, smart, with a BIG drinking problem. But hey he saves people so its okay!

Okay, no Ironman? How about Batman, look at that, another rich kid. This one never got over the tragedy of his parents death so he turned vigilante, which I’m pretty sure is illegal! On top of it all he lies to those he’s closest too. Yes, it might be to “keep them safe” but aren’t we trying to teach our children, a lie is a lie?

Then there is Superman, an alien with super powers. He too, lies to those closest to him.

Spiderman, bitten by a spider and given super powers. Tormented by the guilt he felt over his grandfather’s death, he decides to become a vigilante, and lie to those closest to him.

My personal favorite, Hulk, a scientist, his strength is triggered by his anger. His IQ drops the bigger his muscles get.

And let’s not forget Wolverine. What can I say about him? He is pretty much a sociopath.

Don’t get me wrong, I love superheroes. My point is, I’m not sure those are the individuals I want my daughter emulating.

SO now I ask, what is so wrong with girls wanting to be princesses?

Ariel, a mermaid who wished to see more than the ocean she lived in. She rescued a prince, it was the prod she “needed” to take the dangerous plunge into the human world. She didn’t lose who she was even after she lost her voice. She got to experience that world she longed to be a part of. In the end, with the help of her prince, they defeated the evil witch.

Rapunzel, trapped in a tower, she did not let her circumstances keep her from wanting to see more! When the opportunity came she “convinced” a thief to show her the outside world. She took her future into her own hands. In the end she was willing to give up her freedom to save the thief that had given her so much.

Jasmine, at an age where she had to choose a husband, she held out looking for her right fit. She stood up to her dad, helped Aladdin defeat Jafar (by distracting Jafar), and with her perseverance her dad changed the law so she could marry who SHE deemed appropriate.

Mulan, she saved China. Nuff’ said!

Belle, she gave up her freedom to save her father. She showed tremendous courage not backing down to the Beast. She also saw the good in him and helped him find it in himself. When he gave her her freedom back, Belle put herself in harms way to save him.

In the interest of time I won’t do all the princesses. I will point out that while Cinderella and Snow White were more passive, they did show some very important traits. Both princesses never lost their optimism or sense of hope! How many people would be able to live through what they did and still have a kind word and smiling face? Not many.

While I know everyone interprets things differently, these are the traits I’d like my daughter to see. Really, optimism and hope is something most of the Disney Princesses have in common. In this world, if I have to choose what I want my daughter to imitate it would be those traits. So I’ll let her be a princess.

Car Seat Safety: It's a Passion of Mine

Greetings from your Resident Safety Advisor!  I'm here to discuss all things related to child safety, but first I wanted to give you a little background about my journey into safety and a passion of mine - car seats.  If you have any topics you particularly would like to see covered (car seat related or not), please send us an email and let us know.

When I was pregnant with my first child, I spent a little time researching options for car seats.  And then went out and registered for one that came with a jogging stroller I liked (we live on a farm, those large tires are very helpful on uneven ground) and called it done.  After all, an infant seat is designed for infants, right?  What could be wrong with it?  Then my daughter was born.  Her head drooped in the seat in an unsightly and seemingly uncomfortable way.  She would scream for entire trips and upon arrival, would be drenched in sweat.  I dreaded car rides.  After one of (many) visits to our lactation consultant she followed us out to the car and noticed how my daughter slept in her infant seat once connected to the base.  She made a few suggestions and advised getting our seat checked for proper installation.

I silently rolled my eyes and dutifully went home and tried to make the suggested changes, without much effect.  A few weeks later I found myself enrolled in a car seat workshop that was followed by a member of the Lynchburg Fire Department inspecting our seats and installations.  I learned a lot from the course the instructor made some changes to my daughter's seat.  Then I started reading.  Come to find out, the very seat I had selected (remember, I liked the jogging stroller that came with it), which was rated for use in babies as little as 5 pounds, is known to be a horrible fit for newborns.  Infuriated by this knowledge, and tired of a fussy baby in the back seat, I moved my daughter into her convertible seat (and a much better fit) and had many happier travels.

My personal experience started me on a journey I never expected.  Car seats became a hobby, a passion.  I have a tendency to get stuck on a topic and read a lot (too much?) on it.  I've been reading about car seats and their use for nearly three years now.  Friends began coming to me for advice on car seats.  I relished each question because it gave me something else to research (just last night one of these inquiries had me researching the differences between Swedish and Australian rear facing tether systems; sounds fascinating, right?).  Earlier this year, I was told, partially in a joking manner, that I should consider becoming a certified car seat technician.  Three weeks later I was enrolled in a course and received the official title of “Child Safety Passenger Technician,” or CPST for short.  Car seats can be frustrating, their manuals can be confusing, and some are simply not easy to install or adjust, and the recommendations on which seat to use when never seem to stop changing.  I'm here to help.

A few facts about car seats and their use in the United States:

• Motor vehicle injuries are the number one cause of death among children in the United States.
  • The use of properly installed and properly fitted car seats can decrease the risk of death to infants (age less than 1 year) by 71% and to toddlers (age 1-4 years) by 54%.
  • When compared to the use of seat belts alone, the use of booster seats reduces the risk of serious injury by 45% for children aged 4-8 years.
  • It’s estimated that over 90% of car seats are used improperly, either due to improper installation techniques or improper fit.
• All car seats on the market are subject to the same standards established by National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA), and must pass the same test in order to be sold in the US.  However, there is no governing body that oversees the tests themselves; it is left up to the individual manufacturers to perform the tests and report the results.
• There is no one "safest" car seat.  The safest car seat (no matter the brand or model) is the one that:
  • Fits your child
  • Fits your car
  • Fits your family’s needs in terms of comfort and convenience, so that you’ll use it every time

So, now that The Motherhood Collective offers our mamas a "Resident Safety Advisor," what does this mean?  I'm here to help you understand safety concerns that relate to our children and advise you on how to handle them.  As a CPST, I'm able to help educate and train parents on proper car seat use.  In the broad goals of The Motherhood Collective, we hope to eventually be able to offer car seat inspections to local mothers to ensure their proper use.  In the meantime, I'm here to serve as a safety educator and offer advice and education.  My goals are to start offering posts on car seat tips and installations, and then branch out into other safety education topics.

Print the Pictures

Last night I had a rare opportunity. I was home for the most part by myself. Girls were with Grandparents, Josh was out with some guys for work, so it was just me and Tacy. I had grand plans on what I was going to do with my night and I ended up spending it working on photos.Every year I say I want to get better at documenting our lives. It is an easy thing to SAY it’s much harder to do. Last year I was actually pretty good at getting photos. But in this digital day and age it’s way too easy for those photos to stay on my computer or phone. So last night I bit the bullet. I created and ordered a photo book with my favorite 200 photos of 2013. I also ordered all the photos I have taken in the month of January so I can try my hand a new scrapbook system. Lastly I sorted through all the printed photos I have and organized them chronologically. All in all it was a good night, though not at all easy. It wasn’t the time or money, though both of those were a bit frustrating. More than anything it was spending hours and hours looking at photos of myself. While it has been a wonderful year it has been a hard year and giving birth to a baby rarely does kind things to our bodies. So here I sit a month into the new year staring at pages and pages of photos of myself I would rather bury. It would be very easy to hit delete but I didn’t I hit print. In 12 years when my now six month old is struggling with her body image I want her to look back and see pictures of me… a little stocky, exhausted, wearing a bright pink shirt standing on Aztec ruins in Cozumel my belly growing with her in it. I want all my daughters to see that I lived a full life. I want them to see that I didn’t let my insecurities hold me back. And so I hit print. And I will continue to take silly faced selfies with my girls, and let my husband snap photos even when I am covered in baby spit up, and I will continue to hit print. And I encourage you to do the same. Take photos, hit print, put them in a book, stash them in a drawer, just do something with them. Your children think you are absolutely beautiful, leave being proof for them that they are right.

Montessori Moods: Your House is a Classroom

I have been dreading this post, because there are times in my life when doing formal Montessori just doesn’t fit. Either I’m tired, we’re busy, or my kids just aren’t into it (and I don’t have the patience to work with them). The thing that encourages me during these times is that my entire house is a Montessori classroom. And yours is, too. My kids put their own clothes on. They did Montessori.

They helped me mix up pancakes for breakfast. They did Montessori.

We read a whole bunch of books together and the older one sounded out some words and was reminded of some puzzle words. We did Montessori.

The older one demanded a chore to do and mopped the floor. He did Montessori!

If you are letting your children live life with you and allowing them to do things on their own as much as you can (and your patience allows), you are doing Montessori. Give them space to do things themselves and let them mess up and get things wrong. And then let them try to figure out how to get it right. This is one of the most difficult things for Mamas to do. I want to rush in and tell them what to do and fix their backwards clothes, but what they really need is for me to leave them alone and let them try to figure it out on their own.

So don’t be hard on yourself when you’re not doing anything formal! Every day has opportunities for your child to learn without you preparing for it.

Car(t) Seats & Safety

Perhaps you’ve read the safety concerns of resting your infant's car seat atop the shopping cart. (If you have not heard, consider looking into it from these reputable sources here and here). But this is not a rant about that, not at all! It is actually a solution!

Maybe I just never noticed it before, but the WalMart (on Wards Road) has car seat docking stations. These nifty contraptions essentially allow you to safely buckle your child into a universal dock atop the shopping cart. It is safer than resting the seat on the top bars and saves you room in the cart area so you can actually, ya know, buy stuff! See this brief cheesy video showing the device.

Check out my seven month old in her Graco car seat. See how the black and red lap belt securely fastens over the car seat? It is a lot like being in a car when you do not have the base. >smile<

Also notice the blue docking piece it rests in. That thing is bolted and welded to the buggy, so it’s not going anywhere either.

Maybe these have been out for ages and I never noticed them. Is my #newmomstatus showing? Anyway, you can safely shop with baby while fitting more than 3 items in your cart! Woohoo!

ONE IMPORTANT CAVEAT: the configuration sits the car seat very high, so for shorties like me, it becomes difficult to see the 'road'. I may or may not have bumped into someone driving a motorized buggy... Ummm, oops! So be cautious.

These are probably available more places than I realized… where else have you seen them?

5 Ways to Balance Motherhood and Your Career

Being a mother and a career woman at the same time is one of the most difficult roles you will ever encounter as a woman. In this day and age, having a role like this is very much challenging. When you become a mother and a career woman too, there are a lot of things that you need to deal with. And both roles are very stressful, but you have to keep up with them. All you have to do is to be organized, so that you will be able to fulfill your roles as a mother and a career woman.

Here are the 5 ways on how you can balance motherhood and your career:

 

1. Lose the guilt

 

There is nothing to be guilty of whenever you have to work full time. If you feel guilty because you have to leave your kids while you are at work, then you must have other way on how to provide for your family. Being a provider in the family is not an easy responsibility. You've got to think of your family's sake and future, that is why you need a job to provide your needs. So, you better not feel guilty about it, since this is one of the key roles in motherhood. You just have to cherish the quality time you have with your kids whatever career path you take.

 

2. Be flexible

 

It is really hard to be flexible nowadays, especially when things go wrong or unexpectedly. But as a mother and a career woman, you have to know how to be one. You will be required to be flexible at all times, at all cost. All you have to do is to have a back-up plan when plan A didn't work. Also, you need to be open for other options when the situation calls for it.

 

3. Consider priorities

There will always be a time when you need to choose only one thing: motherhood or your career. When you're at this point, you have to make sure that you will have the best decision for your family. If you decide to work full time, then it's fine. And if you decide to stay at home and be with your kids, then it's also fine. It's just that you have to consider your priorities all the time. Not at all time you will work or just stay at home, so you better be open for a change.

 

4. Know your limits

 

Always keep in mind that you cannot do all things at the same time. You will definitely have a limit for yourself. You just have to take things at a time and know how to manage your time efficiently. It is best if you can do things as a mother and a career woman. What is important is that you both do your responsibilities well.

 

5. Set your schedule

 

It is very frustrating to have a broken schedule all the time. So, to avoid this one, you need to set your schedule beforehand. Since you have two roles to consider, scheduling is really an important thing for you. It is great if you know how to set aside this one and that for you to be able to function your role as a mother or as a career woman. The key here is to use your time wisely.

About the Author:

Ysabelle Fort is a Communication Arts student from Chicago. She writes for uk best essays. And she is on her way to becoming a writer someday.

 

Pinterest Envy

Sometimes I feel like I’m clawing my way back to some semblance of what and who I was before having a child. There have been quite a few moments in my life lately where I stop and ask myself, “Did I JUST say that?”. Usually it’s either my mother coming out of my mouth or some meaner version of myself because I’m exhausted, irritated, frustrated, or some combination of all. There are days when I want to bury my head under my pillow and just be silent. There are days when I want to open the door, step outside, close the door, and breathe for 5 minutes. And you know what? That is ok. That is the biggest lesson I’ve learned this month. It’s ok to be sad. It’s ok to get frustrated. I am NOWHERE NEAR a perfect person let alone a perfect mother. Pinterest has ruined the measure I hold myself to. I got found that I am so caught up in making things “perfect” or “picture worthy” that I miss the moment entirely. I miss the silly fun because I’m trying to get a perfect angle for the photo or I miss actually sitting down and enjoying the Tea Party that I’ve thrown for my step-daughters 6th birthday. Why? Because I am more concerned about documenting all of my hard work that I don’t get to experience the whole reason behind all of that effort. I’ll say it again, Pinterest has ruined me.

So often I am looking for fun ideas to do with the kids or different ideas for holidays (we’ve had at least one big one a month for the past 6 months). I get overwhelmed with what other people have thought of and done for their children. I think to myself, well, I can do that! So I set out and end up letting the process of making whatever it is so consuming that it actually puts me in a bad mood. I get stressed trying to be like those magical mothers on Pinterest and I turn into nothing like what they say they are. I get short, angry, sad, upset, all of the above. When did I decide that I have to work outside the home, make educational crafts for my 15 month old from scratch, make fantastic and complex meals every night, plan elaborate parties for a one year old and a six year old who would have been happy with a cake from a bakery with their name in rainbow colors? I do it to myself. I go WAY overboard. Why am I measuring myself against what I see on Pinterest? Does it make me less of a mother that I don’t have homemade pillow cases or recycle my old candle wax and turn it into a fantastic art project? No. If anyone is able to do all of that I sincerely applaud you. I do not have the stamina, patience, or energy. I’m exhausted. The tea party birthday has been over for three weeks and I’m still tired. Granted, it was fabulous and my teapot cake is something that I’m still very proud of but truly, I did too much. I stayed up late all week before the party to get things ready. As I’m typing this I’m shaking my head at myself. It’s not about the things that I did, it’s about the way I let it change my attitude because I was overextending myself. I am glad she had an awesome party, but I was miserable. I’m still a good mother. I will continue to make their birthday cakes but I need to calm down on my Pinterest envy and focus on the things that matter; like having tea with my kiddo while she eats star shaped sandwiches in her Aurora Princess dress and crown.

Am I alone in feeling this way? Do all mothers feel like they should be doing more? Do all mothers stop and feel so inadequate some days that it’s defeating? Yes, I believe they do. The positive to this is that there are sooo many wonderful things about motherhood that can drown some of this negativity out. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It doesn’t even have to be picture worthy. What I need to learn to focus on is the experience, not the “stuff”.

This was a really hard lesson for me to swallow this month. If you are anything like me, feel encouraged that you are not alone. We don’t have to be “the best mom in the world”, we just have to be the best mom to OUR children. That seems like a lot less pressure!

Ritual

The holidays have come and gone. If you are well organized the decorations are down and you MIGHT **MIGHT** even have Valentine’s Day decorations up. (If you are like me you will MEAN to make/hang these for the next few weeks and then wake up on Valentine’s day and realize you never did get around to it). I think that often times it is easy to pack the traditions up with the tinkle lights and sparkle. We act as those traditions are for big occasions and special events. And yet, I think so many of us crave for more. Perhaps “tradition” is too strong of a word for the day to day life. Maybe “ritual” is better. I didn’t make any big resolutions this year, but one thing I am trying to create more of for my girls is routine, ritual, rhythm. I life that ebbs and flows with the days and the seasons. It doesn’t have to be anything big, and it definitely will get thrown out the window if it induces stress or guilt. But, I think, when done right, having those things that we can count on, that we anticipate give us the frame work that allows us to grow and bloom.

Our first ritual has started out small, without meaning to we have incorporated after school hot chocolate into our daily rhythm. It gives both my girls something to look forward to when the older one gets off from school. It gives me time to listen to their day and look through their folders. It gives everyone a few moments to transition from “day” to “evening”.

I encourage you this month, the month of “love” to find a ritual that speaks to your heart. Maybe you light a candle each morning, maybe you speak a prayer over your child while they sleep, maybe you commit to finding ten minutes each day to make a cup of tea, of coffee, or hot chocolate and drink it’s while it’s still hot.

Survival Lessons from a Working Mom

First of all, I am learning. I’m 6 months new to this parenting thing, and I am quickly learning that no prior level of experience with kids fully prepares you for the actual parenting role. Sure, you might have practice holding a newborn, or magical teething remedies in your back pocket (please tell me if you do!). But it’s not the same as being wholly responsible for growing this baby into a healthy, adjusted adult human. So I have a few “new mom” lessons that have made the difference for me. Hopefully one of these helps equip you, inform you, or set you a little more free. 1. “Some babies are natural sleepers, others… just aren’t.” My pediatrician told me this, and boy is it true! My friend’s baby was on a consistent, through the night, no waking sleep schedule by 2.5 weeks. Another friend of mine fought wakeful nights for a year. Both homes were filled with love and consistency and routine. Me? I breastfeed a 6-month old who is teeny for her age, so I figure nighttime feedings are just par for the course. So I figured out various ways to get as much rest as possible while safely providing her what she needs. I give you permission to do the same (yes, even if it means tossing that book that supposedly works magic).

2. “Definitely before 1, and probably before 2, you aren’t creating a ‘habit’ out of anything”. I heard this from a Motherhood mom. I believe strongly in consistency (still do), but so much so I believed if I made one wrong move, my kid would surely be addicted to a pacifier until college or worse. But let’s face it: the way of the world is learning to cope with change. So I stopped fighting it, stopped guilting myself for it, and started loving my daughter through it (insert your “it”). Added bonus: you’re not furious when teething, sickness, or vacation throws off your perfectly cultivated sleep schedule.

--By now you can probably see that I am the perfectionistic, high-performance, A-type personality. Not convinced? Allow me: I am in two graduate courses, working full time, married, raising a 6 month old, serving at church, and asking myself why I didn’t get to the dishes. Sound familiar?—

3. STOP MULTITASKING 24/7.

(photo credit: Sulekha.com)

This is a tough one! Even now, you’re probably skimming this post while nursing or making a bottle or cleaning. And hey, I get it. We moms take on so much that if we do not multitask, we drown. My job centers on it, my brain thrives on it, and not ¼ of my stuff would be done if I didn’t. Sure, cook dinner with your baby on your hip if you need to. But when that chicken has to simmer, stop. Look at your child. Tune in to her. Talk to him. Make faces. Sound ridiculous. Other moments, turn down the radio and listen to your baby find her voice. Put away Facebook (gasp!) and help him learn his colors. You’ll give yourself a much deserved brain break and gain precious minutes back that our social rat race and personal pressure try to steal. Be an example of connectedness. My experience is that you will never regret those mommy moments you stole back.

In addition to mothering, are you a Student? Employee? Volunteer? I would love to hear what parenting lessons have set you free!

Step-Parenting Win: Reward System

As I've said in previous posts, being a step-parent is hard work; incredibly rewarding, yes. But hard work. Now, before I get started, this is not a rule bashing or rule encouraging post. It is just my experiences. The type of personality that I have dictates that I have to have a fairly set schedule. I like to know what is coming, what my options are and make a distinct plan. Some of you may call that being a "control freak" and yes, that is partly true (HA!); however, this is what works best for me to keep my arms around the many things that I am responsible for (uh, just being a mom!).

Structure and schedule work best for my son as well. He thrives in an environment where he knows what to expect. When it comes to step-parenting, those things can be a big challenge. I don't get to make the decisions. I get to handle what happens at our house and our house alone. That's ok! It just makes it a challenge to be consistent when it comes to creating structure and rules in a child's life. I struggled for years trying to come up with a way to balance the time we had with my step-daughter between fun times and times of structure. Having her so little time meant that we did not want to always be jumping on her case for behavior issues, and at 2-4 she had quite a few, like any normal child that age!

How did we make sure she understood boundaries without making her feel like our house "had too many rules"? It's a constant struggle with blended families. I racked my brain trying to come up with different ways to help her be responsible for her behavior and to really take control of what happens at our house. She is school-aged now and the independence is just bursting out of her in so many ways! She should be able to have some say in her time with us!

So, I came up with a reward system that has proven to be extremely effective in both letting her visualize her progress and having an obtainable goal.

We created a chart with ten large squares across the width. Each square has three smaller squares in front of it. The idea is that each day she starts off with three check marks in those small boxes. The key is that she started her day positively! If she is a normal, polite kid all day, she keeps those checks and gains a sticker to place in the large square. After she has earned her ten stickers, she completes her goal and gets to do the activity she set to accomplish (ie - Bowling, trip to Amazement Square, fun at Chuck E. Cheese, etc).

The BEST part about this system is the opportunity for her to gain additional checks or to lose checks. Negative behaviour (i.e. back talking, not listening after repeated reminders, being rude, etc.) results in a lost check. Positive behavior (being helpful without being asked, being kind, thinking of ways to consider others, etc.) allows her to gain additional checks and put her ahead!

She LOVES this system! There have only been a handful of times that I have had to take a check away and the devastation on her face made me want to give it right back to her. But after a few minutes of thinking about why she lost a check, she is up and asking about ways she can earn it back. She now asks for chores. She is now incredibly thoughtful when she has other children over to play and is so considerate in making sure they have an equal share in everything they do. I got to overhear her making sure her cousin had the same amount of candy and she intentionally stopped playing with the toy he wanted a turn at to share. I was elated! Isn't that all we can ask of our children? To consider others? Wouldn't that make our world such a better place?

Recently she completed her goal of a bowling trip and she is over the moon proud that SHE accomplished that activity. SHE reminds ME that manners need to be used. SHE thinks of ways to be helpful around the house by clearing dishes without being asked. SHE is in constant control of her outcomes in terms of behavior. I believe she has finally grasped the concept that no one else dictates how her behavior can be, it is all up to her. I am so thankful I found a constructive way to teach her this lesson without harping on her constantly! She's still a kid and she has some growing and learning to do, but she is on the right track with understanding the responsibility of her actions. Just the other night she said to me out of the blue, "Bre, thank you for teaching me how to act and use my manners." WOW! I guess parents need some positive reinforcement sometimes too!! I'm so proud of my big girl!!

Do you struggle with manners, chores and discipline in your house? Have you found any successful ways to encourage good behavior? share with us in the comments.

Recipe of the Week - Chicken Parmesan

When asked to contribute a Recipe of the Week blog, I was thrilled! But while I have a ton of recipes (ask me about my homemade deodorant), I'm not the best writer. So let's see how this goes! I've been thinking about what kind of meals most moms I know really cook and I think it comes down to a couple of things.

• Quick - there's a kid screaming somewhere.
• Not a ton of ingredients.  It takes too long to get them together!
• Nothing that requires unusual items.  After all, you don't want to buy something you're only going to use once.

I know we want to be super mom and do everything...AND do it perfectly!  But I think sometimes super mom is the mom who says, "Dinner is a ham sandwich and I have a child that needs me more."

I've got a few recipes to share that shouldn't take too long, but look and taste awesome.  And they are mostly healthy. What can I say, I'm Southern and I like butter! So here's my first contribution:

I'm not a huge Italian food fan, but this was really good! I made a few tweaks because I believe recipes are better when tailored to your family. In this case, I used Italian bread crumbs (no, I didn't make my own.  That seemed way too time consuming with that screaming child.), basil and oregano diced tomatoes.  Also, I skipped the fresh herbs because I didn't have them on hand.

Even with the changes, it was awesome!

Quick Chicken Parmesan

INGREDIENTS

• 2, 8-ounce boneless, skinless chicken breasts, trimmed
• 3/4 teaspoon salt, divided
• 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground pepper, divided
• 1/2 cup coarse dry breadcrumbs, preferably whole-wheat
• 3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, divided
• 1 medium onion, chopped
• 3 cloves garlic, minced
• 1, 28-ounce can no-salt-added crushed tomatoes
• 1 teaspoon Italian seasoning
• 1 cup shredded part-skim mozzarella cheese
• 1/4 cup chopped fresh basil or parsley

PREPARATION

1. Cut each chicken breast in half on the diagonal to make 4 roughly equal portions. Place between pieces of plastic wrap and pound with the smooth side of a meat mallet or a heavy saucepan to an even 1/4-inch thickness. Sprinkle the chicken with 1/4 teaspoon each salt and pepper. Combine breadcrumbs and 1 tablespoon oil in a small bowl; set aside.
2. Position rack in upper third of oven; preheat broiler to high.
3. Heat 1 tablespoon oil in a large, ovenproof skillet over medium-high heat. Add half the chicken and cook until golden, 2 to 3 minutes per side. Transfer to a plate. Reduce the heat to medium and repeat with the remaining 1 tablespoon oil and chicken. Transfer the chicken to the plate.
4. Add onion and garlic to the pan and cook, stirring, until beginning to soften, 2 to 3 minutes. Remove the pan from the heat. Pour in crushed tomatoes; add Italian seasoning and the remaining 1/2 teaspoon salt and 1/4 teaspoon pepper. Return the pan to medium heat and cook, stirring, until the onions are tender, 2 to 3 minutes. Return the chicken and any accumulated juices to the pan. Turn to coat with the sauce.
5. Sprinkle about 1/4 cup of cheese over each piece of chicken, then top with the reserved breadcrumb mixture. Broil until the cheese is melted, about 1 minute. (Watch carefully to prevent burning.) Serve the chicken with the sauce, sprinkled with basil (or parsley).

Original recipe found here.

Single Mom Survival Guide: Embracing Your Do Over

When it comes to New Year's Resolutions, I am the prime example of high hopes paired with next to no follow through. Every New Year, I come up with an asinine mental list of things to live by for the next 12 months, which are typically fraught with disappointment long before I even get started. Here are a few of my classic dead-end resolutions from years past: - Exercise every morning. This was doomed from the start. A) I hate exercise, and B) I hate getting up any earlier than I already have to.

- Read two novels each month. I'm not even sure where this brain child came from. It probably stemmed from guilt - everyone else had already read the "50 Shades of Gray" trilogy, and I couldn't even name the author. That year, I instead reread the first 2 chapters of the same novel a couple of times each month, which in my mind was practically the same thing as achieving my reading goal.

- And my favorite: switch to an entirely organic, green, clean diet. I bought this book about how skinny girls stay skinny and how I, the stereotypical chubby girl, could benefit from this ridiculous diet. No processed foods, no red meats, no artificial sweeteners, no (GASP!) caffeine, and once every few months you fast and drink only water for a few days until you near complete fatigue. I failed at this diet by breakfast on January 2nd.

Following my divorce, I started seeing a therapist, who I still see regularly more than a year later. Never having seen a therapist before, I am now the biggest advocate of therapy out there - there is nothing more liberating than freeing your thoughts, fears and ambitions in a judgement-free zone. My therapist recommended in light of my new start-on-life following my divorce, that I make a list of goals I wanted to accomplish. They didn't need to be accomplished today or next month or next year - just goals to work toward and hopefully achieve down the road and (more importantly) on my own.

So, following her advice, I made my list. Some of my goals were lofty, some just for fun, and some requiring years of effort. In a way, it was a list of things I doubted I could accomplish on my own. With my list, I was hoping to reinvent my purpose in life, both for my own self-growth and as an inspiration for my children. Upon review of my final draft, I realized that although completing the list would be tough, it was far from impossible. And having recently survived one of the toughest experiences of my life, I felt like anything could be accomplished with the right level of persistence. I reread the list once every few weeks, to give myself some perspective on where I've been and where I'm headed.

In 2013, I only completed one of my goals: going on a crazy girls weekend to Las Vegas. It was the greatest weekend of my life, and everything we did there was straight off of a list of things that my uptight, married self thought she would never enjoy. It wasn't finding a cure for cancer or achieving world peace, but in my world, it was huge. It was an opportunity for me to realize that life is worth living and I that I could find joy again.

My personal goal for 2014 is embracing my independence...shaking off what's left of my old co-dependent self and not being afraid to explore the world on my own. First on my list is planning a vacation for myself. I'm not sure where I will go, or for how long, but I'm looking forward to an opportunity to be a little brave, explore a new place, and mentally recharge.

I wish you health and happiness in the new year and the best of luck with achieving your goals.

What are you hoping to achieve in 2014?