Recipe of the Week - Deliciously Addictive Snack Crackers

I have yet to meet a person--adult or child--who did not like, no, LOVE these snack crackers. You will too. They are the perfect easy snack for holiday parties…and everyday too! There is no way to describe this snack other than it is delicious and addictive.

Oh, and easy too.

Ingredients:

12-14 oz package of oyster crackers (sometimes called "soup crackers"), large or small

1 oz package of dry ranch dressing mix

1 tsp garlic powder (not garlic salt)

1/2 tsp dill weed

1/2 cup veg. oil

Make it!

In a large bowl, whisk together oil, ranch mix, and seasonings. Add crackers and stir well. Stir every 15 minutes for an hour to ensure thorough coating and all the seasoning soaks into the crackers. Store in an air tight container.

ENJOY.

Seriously…Enjoy. I dare you to eat just one.

Recipe of the Week - Cranberry Treasure Cookies

Now, now, I know it's the new year and everyone has started their diet resolutions, but here's a cookie recipe you'll want to try anyway.  It's one that several of my family members have been baking for years, but I only just tried it myself.   It's super easy, very delicious and by golly, it calls for real fruit.  A diet win-win!

 

Cranberry Treasure Cookies 1 2/3 cup flour 1 tsp baking soda 1/2 tsp salt 1/2 c butter, softened (Melted butter works, too.) 3/4 c packed brown sugar 1 egg 1 c fresh cranberries 1 tsp orange rind (My sister suggests using more.  I just used what I grated from one orange.  It was probably closer to a tablespoon.  Very orange-y = very yummy!) 1 1/2 white chocolate chips 1/2 c pecans, coursely chopped (Totally optional - I didn't use these.)

Preheat your oven to 375.  Use a mixer to combine the ingredients well.  Drop spoonfuls of dough on a greased cookie sheet. Bake for 12-14 minutes until lightly brown.

Yields 3-4 dozen if you make small cookies.

How to (Accidentally) Exercise Everyday

I hate to exercise. I know some women love it. It's like an escape to them - from their kids, house, stress, life. I admire these women; they inspire... and baffle me.

Personally if I want to escape, it's in a good book or Netflix series curled under a squishy afghan with a glass of milk and a slice of chocolate cake.

That, my friends, is my definition of "escape."

But, back to my hatred of exercise.

The only thing stronger than my hatred of exercise is my guilt of NOT exercising. Because I know I'm supposed to. I want to be healthy. I want to be a good example for my kids. I want to be a "hot mom". (Wait...did I just say that?)

But I am also a really busy person. I have three kids. I have a house to take care of. I have meals to prepare. I have a mountain range of laundry to cross every week. Oh, and I also work 30+ hours a week from home as an online professor and freelance editor.

I have 6-8 exercise DVDs that I attempt to do every 9.5 months. Usually by the time I get half way through, one of my children is crying or pooping somewhere inappropriate.

So, what's a busy mom to do? I decided that instead of trying to squeeze exercise in, I should take a backwards approach. I decided to look back at my day or week and see where I have accidentally exercised.

The Accidental Exercise Plan is simple. All you need is some creativity and a good memory.  Though once you add more than two children to your life, the later is hard to come by. Hang in there, mama!

The only equipment required for the Accidental Exercise Plan is a house and children.

And the exercises are simple--you are probably doing them all every day! You just need to recognize them so you can give yourself a pat on the back at the end of each day for exercising.

Tell me more, you say? Well, let's begin! I've broken the Accidental Exercise Program down into Legs, Arms, Abs, and Cardio.

Legs:

The Basement Laundry Room

Do you have a basement laundry room? Lucky you! Don't curse the cold concrete floors, the swinging lightbulb, and the spiders that freak the living daylights out of you! Thank your lucky stars that you get to "do stairs" every day!

Yes, every time you run up, run down, lug up, lug down, you are exercising, my dear. So do your laundry with PRIDE! Your thighs are thanking you.

The Two Year Old

Do you have a two year old? Then you also have a personal trainer! The two year old will help you run every day. To take advantage of your two year old's expertise, take him to a grocery store, Target, or any department store. Turn around for 1.2 seconds then turn back around. Your child will be 100 yards away and will be urging you to begin your Accidental Exercising for the day. Run, mama, run!

Arms:

Dinnertime Bicep Burn

It's 6:00 at your house. That means dinner time prep. It also means Accidental Exercising! Don't distract your clinging, crying baby with toys, wooden spoons, pot lids, goldfish, and a kitten! Hold that baby on your hip while you stir that pot!

Do you feel that burn? Ahh…your biceps are thanking you.

BONUS Workout: Have twins. Then you can do this:

Yes, these are my workout clothes.

Abs:

Midnight Maneuver

This Accidental Exercise technique takes some skill but most moms are already completing this move with dexterity.

First, pass out from exhaustion in your bed while your baby is curled up beside you.

Next, wake up. Realize that it is only 8:45pm and you are an adult who promised herself that she would have an grown-up conversation with her husband that night.

Next, hoist your baby over your stomach, cradling her body with your arms. Do not wake your baby!

Carefully sit up without using your arms or elbows to help you. Flail your legs if necessary--no one is watching.

Place your baby carefully in bed.

Pat yourself on the back for getting your baby to sleep AND doing a crazy-hard sit-up.

Repeat as necessary throughout the night.

The Squishy Belly Laugh

Did you know that laughing burns 1.3 calories per minute? To take advantage of the Squishy Belly Laugh Accidental Exercise, pull up your shirt so your belly is exposed. Let your baby squish all that postpartum goodness while you blow raspberries. Your baby will laugh. You will too...WHILE YOU BURN CALORIES!! WIN WIN!

Cardio:

They say the point of cardio is to elevate the heart rate to strengthen the heart muscles. Here are a few ways to integrate an elevated heart rate into your Accidental Exercise regimen.

The Crash

Go about your day as normal. Hum. Sing. Be happy and joyful and unassuming. CRASH!!! In the moments after The Crash (usually from your child's bedroom), your heartbeat will elevate. If you hear the "bad cry," RUN (bonus exercise!!!) to your child's room. Your heart rate will continue to elevate until the crash and the "bad cry" are resolved.

"Cardio" accomplished.

The Daredevil

Is your child a daredevil? Lucky you! You get to experience Accidental Exercise cardio more than most!  To take advantage of your daredevil, look for ways to be scared out of our pants: jungle gyms, parking lots, bunk beds, knives in your dishwasher, etc.

Caution: a side effect of The Daredevil is gray hair.

Of course, you could always accidentally exercise by doing this too...

I call it "The Lift and Kiss"

So fellow mamas, if you are like me, let go of your guilt. Let the dust collect on those Jillian Michael's DVDs. Plan some quality "escape" time in your day, because you know what?

You already (accidentally) exercised today.

Do you Accidentally Exercise??? Share your tips below!!!

(All photos taken by Sabrena Carter Deal of scarterstudios).

Be A Blessing This Holiday Season

No matter what you celebrate, the end of the calendar year brings lots of traditions, joy, family and giving. Our family celebrates Christmas and has, in years past, let it completely rule our lives for two solid months. The rush and the fuss and the gifts and the greed. Last year, I had enough. I made it my goal to do some research and find ways to make this time of year more about being a good person and blessing other people. I was so fortunate (and very thankful to Pinterest!) to find a plethora of different, unique and FUN ways to bring meaning to this holiday season. No matter what you celebrate, there are ways that you can bless a neighbor, a friend or a stranger! It's not about making yourself feel good for being charitable, but rather about truly giving without the expectation of receiving. I hope to teach my son kindness and selflessness that drives a person to automatically think of ways to be a blessing. I'm not there completely yet, it's still something I have to consciously choose to do, but I hope to be there one day. I found a few things that I would like to share with the group.

In the month of December we, as a family, plan to do one of these every other day (or so):

Some of these ideas can easily be adapted based on your life and the people you have that you would like to bless. I will make a few modifications, but the idea is still the same. Can you imagine getting a cart at Target and finding a gift card (for any amount!) with a note about the reason for the season? How inspiring! I believe that if we posture this kind of attitude, it is bound to catch on...and who doesn't want more kindness in this world?!?! We already have a grocery clerk in mind and I cannot wait to see her face! She gave a dollar to my son on his first birthday. How sweet is that? It wasn't about the money. It was that she saw me waddling through the store when I was pregnant all the way up to the many outings we had throughout the year. It means something to be a part of another persons life, even if it is just on the fringe.

The other important thing I am doing this year is cutting back on the gift giving. Every year it feels like Toys R Us exploded in our living room. Since my step-daughter has a birthday just weeks after Christmas she STILL has things that she received last year that she hasn't played with. We are so lucky to have generous friends and family members and I am so very grateful, but the excess is killing me. I would rather my kids grow up being appreciative for the things that they receive, rather than have the expectation of a mountain of gifts. Am I alone in this? So, this year we are enacting the following:

Of course they will get other things from relatives and such but these are gifts from us, their parents. It has been actually kind of fun thinking of what to put in each category and it has forced me to really consider that meaningful gift! My 5 year old may need more help understanding because she may have different traditions at her other home, but that's ok! Thankfully, at one year old, my son has no clue.  As long as we keep this up, this can be our new normal!

I'm so thankful that I found ways to help bring out the better meanings of the holiday season. What are some of the things that your family does to help others or to bless someone?

Meet The Motherhood Collective© Staff: Danielle Hunter

Ever wonder who’s behind The Motherhood Collective? Over the next few weeks we’ll be introducing you to our dedicated team of volunteers. These women are all mothers – once, twice or many times over. While they come from different backgrounds and have various approaches to pregnancy, birth and parenting, each one is dedicated to creating a place where ALL mothers can find education and support. Meet  Danielle Hunter. She is quite possibly one of our greatest supporters, sticking with us through thick and thin. She currently serves as our "New Mama" Gift Basket Coordinator, but Danielle has worn many hats with us as we've grown.

Danielle found us the way many did, through our original outreach, The Motherhood Café.  Yet many might not know that she was the founder of our Playgroups. Week after week, she drove 30 minutes into town to "host" our Playgroups.  These gatherings provided an opportunity for our local mothers to connect with each other outside of our Café setting.  Some amazing friendships were formed between these early playgroup participants and has greatly strengthened our organization. We are so thankful for her vision and the hard work she poured in to create this valuable program.

One of our favorite aspects about serving on The Motherhood Collective© Staff is that we acknowledge the seasons of motherhood and strongly encourage our mothers to put their families first. We love to use Danielle as an example. Her "roles" with us have changed, but her support has never waned.

Currently serving as our "New Mama" Gift Basket Coordinator, Danielle hand-assembles small congratulatory gifts for our mamas upon the birth of their babies. This volunteer role is one of love and attention to detail, and we are thankful to Danielle for her constant commitment to the care of our mamas.

On Café mornings, Danielle distribute the Gift Baskets and then you will find her leading and facilitating the Pregnancy and Birth Small Groups. She is a wealth of knowledge and is a most gracious listener. We know you will enjoy your mornings with her!

Thank you, Danielle, for serving the women and families of The Motherhood Collective©, and for quietly reminding us of our simple mission to "Nurture the Mother to Grow the Child."

PS – Interested in donating a hand crafted item to Danielle's Gift Baskets? Fill out a volunteer form here and specify your skill in the "special skills and qualifications" portion! We will put Danielle in touch with you!

Recipe of the Week: French Pumpkin Soup

Jamie's Autumn Potage a Variation on a Variation of French Pumpkin Soup I got the recipe for this delicious soup at the farmer's market in Carrboro, North Carolina. The C'est si Bon! cooking school was advertising and had samples of the soup with the recipe to take home. The original recipe had some slightly exotic and/or expensive ingredients like leeks and baby fennel, so I've adapted it to ingredients that are more available and affordable. I absolutely love the flavor of this soup and if you puree it, it makes very nutritious baby food!

3 T of fat, olive oil, butter, duck, chicken or goose fat 2 large onions, chopped 1 celery heart, chopped 2 sprigs of fresh thyme (or a couple pinches of dried) 2 bay leaves 3 pounds of fresh pumpkin or other hard squash (I like butternut better than pumpkin), cut in 1" cubes 1 pound of carrots, chopped 8 cups of chicken stock salt and pepper heavy cream or plain yogurt, optional

Heat the fat in a large soup pot over medium heat. Add the onions and celery, stir well, cover, and cook over LOW for 15 minutes. Do not brown them. (I add a little salt here to help sweat the veg.) Add the carrot and cook, covered, for another 10 minutes. Add the cubed squash to the pot, then the stock. Season with salt and pepper (go easy on the salt if using store-bought stock) and add the bay leaves and thyme. Bring to a boil, lower the heat and simmer, partially covered for 45 minutes or until the squash is very tender. At this point you can either mash the soup with a potato masher or puree it with a stick blender. (I prefer to puree it.) If pureeing it in a blender or food processor, let it cool a bit first. If the soup is too thick for your liking, add more stock. Check seasoning and add more salt if needed. When serving you can drizzle a bit of cream or yogurt on the top.

I can't tell you how delicious and warming this is! Serve with some bread and cheese to fill out the meal.

Enjoy the Season

“You are going to miss this.”

As young moms we hear variations on this phrase. Over and over and over. If you are anything like me, you find yourself thinking, “Yeah, right.” I am sure there are things I will miss about this stage, but there are many things that I won’t. I am pretty sure I won’t miss constant comfort nursing, waking multiple times a night to take care of someone else and cleaning up endless messes that I didn’t make.

But as the Holidays approach, I find myself thinking about those in my life who have lost loved ones this year. For the first time ever, perhaps, I am hearing the heart behind those words.

Some day when my child is hurting either physically or emotionally, and there is NOTHING I can do to take that pain away, I will miss how simple it used to be to comfort my nursing baby.

Some day when I am up all night worrying about a teenager who isn’t home yet, I will miss being woken up by little girls scared of monsters under the bed.

Some day when my kids are gone and the house is just a little too silent, I will miss the chaos that comes from being surrounded by my family.

Nothing lasts forever and, as my father often reminds me, “This is just a season.”

This too will pass, this is just for a time, and it will be followed by another season and another. Neither better nor worse than the before or after. Just simply a season. It’s a balancing act, not wishing our life away looking toward the next season. Not living in the past unable to let go of the season before. Simply enjoying the here and now for what it is and what we will take away from it.

Enjoy this season, there are things, there are people, you will miss.

So here is to embracing this Holiday season. Here is to making memories, telling stories about the seasons before, looking forward to the seasons to come.

Meet The Motherhood Collective© Staff: Kayla Becker

Ever wonder who’s behind The Motherhood Collective? Over the next few weeks we’ll be introducing you to our dedicated team of volunteers. These women are all mothers – once, twice or many times over. While they come from different backgrounds and have various approaches to pregnancy, birth and parenting, each one is dedicated to creating a place where ALL mothers can find education and support. Meet Kayla Becker! Kayla has worn many hats in her years with The Motherhood Collective^©, but currently she serves as the other Managing Director, Workshop Coordinator, Info Booth Administrator and Bump Club Director. (sheesh... )

Kayla was originally brought on as our Treasurer due to her fantastic skills with numbers, but has transitioned into the many roles above as her dreams for our organization have grown.

The mother of two, Kayla visited our Café after the difficult birth of her first son and found much more than she expected. She likes to tell of the healing she found and the relationships she developed with mothers of the Collective© - both of which helped transform her second pregnancy and birth.

Passionate about our mission and focused on serving women through education and support, Kayla works daily to sharpen our focus, develop new programs and increase awareness in the community as a Managing Director.

Kayla has two exciting projects debuting in the New Year; the Info Booth and Bump Clubs. The Info Booth will serve to further connect women attending our outreach programs to the greater efforts of The Motherhood Collective^©. The Bump Clubs (official name TBA) are still in development, but are the solution to the pleas we have heard from you, our mamas, to deepen relationships with mothers walking through the same milestones of motherhood.

We are so excited for our upcoming 2014 Workshops and Kayla is, yet again, the force behind these wonderful evening events!

Come January, on Café mornings you will find Kayla behind the Info Booth in the first hour, then actively participating in the Pregnancy Small Group during the second hour. She looks forward to connecting you to this collective group of mothers!

Thank you, Kayla, for serving the women and families of The Motherhood Collective©.

PS – Interested in helping serve as a volunteer on one of Kayla’s projects? Fill out a volunteer form here and tell us so!

Recipe of the Week - Mulligatawny Soup

I originally had this soup on a special lunch date with a friend. It has become a family staple, and my go-to meal for new mamas.
Original recipe from Joy of Cooking

Sauté lightly, but do not brown:
	1 cup diced onion
	6 diced carrots
	3 diced ribs celery
in:
	¼ cup butter

Stir in:
	3 Tablespoons flour
	3 Tablespoons curry powder
Stir and cook them about 3 minutes.

Pour in and simmer 15 minutes:
	6 cups chicken or lamb broth
	2 bay leafs

Add and simmer 15 minutes longer:
	1 cup boiled rice
	2 cups diced cooked lamb
	1 teaspoon salt
	1 teaspoon pepper
	1/2 teaspoon thyme
	1 teaspoon grated lemon rind

Immediately before serving, stir in:
	½ cup hot cream or coconut milk
            1 cup diced tart apples

Serve & enjoy! Even better when prepared the day before and reheated. 

Montessori Moods: The Color Tablets

Up to this point I have only discussed Montessori practical life activities. This is because they are some of the easiest to do at home and also because they are among the first activities introduced. The next category of activities is called sensorial. The sensorial activities are designed to allow the child to become familiar with the different aspects of the world—shape, size, color, texture. Some of the manipulatives in this category are very difficult to make yourself and are expensive to buy. Despite this, there are many interesting sensorial activities that you can make yourself and that your child will enjoy. I will mention that compared to modern toys, some of these Montessori activities will seem “boring” and you will wonder whether your child will enjoy them. Trust me, if the activity is suited for your child’s age and ability, they will! Montessori activities are designed to isolate the difficulty. That means if you want them to learn shapes, all the shapes will be of the same color and will look rather boring. This is so that they child is not distracted by different colors or patterns, and can focus on just the shape. In the activity I’m going to describe today, colors are learned using “tablets.” They are just colored rectangles. You don’t use a red ball and a yellow banana and a blue pencil to teach colors, because the object is a distraction and a complication to the color. Not that you can’t incorporate this kind of color sorting activity later, just that when you are first teaching colors, the colors need to be the main event.

I have used large paint swatches cut in two for my first two color tablet activities. They work well. If you wanted something sturdier, you could use small pieces of wood painted.

The first color tablet activity uses just red, yellow, and blue and employs the three period lesson. The three period lesson is used throughout the Montessori method to teach nomenclature (the names of things). It takes a good bit of patience on my part, because my son doesn’t always “get it” as quickly as I think he should. Be prepared for this possibility.

1. Tell your child the name of the object. In the case of the color tablets, you would point to a card and say the color: “This is red. Red.” Say the word slowly and carefully.

2. Ask your child to show you the object. “Can you point to red?” You will want to mix this up a little bit to make it more fun and keep your child involved: “Put red on your head.” “Point to red with your toe.” “Can Lightening McQueen drive to red?”

3. During the third lesson, your child identifies the object independently. You point to red and ask “What is this?” You will spend the most time on steps one and two. Don’t rush these steps. Only move on to step 3 when you know your child can do it successfully. (At least that’s what you’re supposed to do! I have rushed in the past. If you start step 3 and realize that your child’s not ready, don’t make a big deal about it and move back to step 2.)

To present the first color tablets, make a vertical column of the red, blue and yellow tablets. Do a three period lesson with your child. Then show her a second set of red, blue and yellow and how to match the tablets. Let her begin matching whenever she seems ready.

The second set of color tablets includes the secondary colors (orange, green, purple), as well as grey, black and brown.

There is a third color tablet activity that includes gradations of color and is introduced at a later age.

By the time the first color tablet activity is presented (traditionally at age 3), your child probably already knows the names of the colors. The matching part is still fun for them and it’s a good activity to practice the three period lesson.

Single Mom Survival Guide: My Letter to Santa

Dear Santa, I am writing to request that you send some holiday cheer (i.e., kindness and pity) to a tired, overworked single mom this year. I have been very good all year long! (Ok, ok...I really haven't been that great, but based on the behavior of my children and co-workers alone, I think I'm still in the running.)

If you would be so kind, please bring me the following (wrapped and topped with a big red bow is optional, but would be a nice touch):

A big delicious bottle of Bailey's (i.e., Mommy's "chocolate milk"). You know, the one with a handle that requires a shopping cart at the liquor store. I promise to only use it medicinally.

72 hours of uninterrupted sleep. The only physical and mental recuperation appropriate for me at this time needs to mimic hibernation. During this time, I plan to wear my most hideous sweatsuit with legs unshaven and face void of makeup, curled in the fetal position on my sofa under a heavy blanket spooning my TV remote. I know babysitting my children for the weekend is a lot to ask, but I am not opposed to you assigning them to hard, manual "elf" labor. Trust me, they deserve it.

A man. A handsome, single, attractive man who loves me, my children and my creepy collection of Christmas nutcrackers. A man who finds my small, filthy, toy-ridden home "charming." A man who's sensitive but strong, and enjoys me bossing him around from time to time. A man whose hobbies include vacuuming, small home improvement projects, cleaning toilets and car-pooling. A man with the libido of a twenty year old, despite roaming the hallways all night tending to crying babies, requests for water, and middle of the night bathroom runs. (Please note: I will gladly substitute a maid and a one-night stand for the gentleman referenced above. Come to think of it, I think I would prefer the maid and the one-night stand. I don't have the strength to be witty and full of enthralling conversation most days.)

Thanks so much for your abundance of goodwill and joy. You're the man. Seriously, I mean it.

Sincerely, Missy xoxo

How are YOU, Mom?

Moms, ever notice that after you have kids, no one asks how you are anymore? Oh, people will do it in an around about way. They'll ask "How is the baby sleeping?" in an effort to discover if you, poor soul, are getting sleep at night. I have even done this from time to time. But why don't most people come out and really ask, "so, how are YOU doing, Mom?"

Some people do, bless their hearts, and if the mom is having a really horrible day and has had no adult conversation for a very. long. time, she will most likely word vomit all over the person who asked this unassuming question (usually the little old lady at church). And no one likes vomit very much.

Maybe that's why people are afraid to ask mothers how they are--because motherhood can be such a hard, demanding, isolating, thankless job. At times, of course. And we mothers DO try and focus on the other side of the coin.

I think that's why people ask: "How are your kids?" or in my case "How are the boys/twins?"

They don't want to hear about the ugly side of motherhood--the side where mommy confesses that she is tired, stressed out, surviving-on-coffee, irritated, and feeling invisible. So it is better, safer, much more pleasant to ask about the kids. After all, kids are cute, sweet, and wonderful all the time...right?

No one answers the "how are the kids" question with: "Well, today they were really whinny, snotty, and clingy. My son peed on the couch and my daughter dumped her oatmeal on the dog's head. By the way, thanks for asking how I'm doing."

No, being the socially aware people that we are, we answer, "The kids are great/adorable/learning so much these days. Growing up too fast."

And we smile. We mean our "safe" answer, of course. But often it isn't really how the kids (or we!) are at that moment. And the well meaning person usually never follows up the question with how you, as the mother, are doing.

The thing is, I DO want to talk about the boys--I love talking about my kids. But the gracious hand of "how are you?" is rarely extended to me. Why is this?  Though "Mommy" is a role I treasure and proudly display, is not the only hat I wear.

So, what is the point in all this? I suppose it is a this gentle reminder: Don't assume that because the kids are well that the mom is too. Being a mother is complicated and it comes with daily challenges and a plethora of feelings.

What if we challenged ourselves to do this: Next time we greet a fellow mom, ask how she is--really ask. She may lie (we all do) because it is hard to be honest about the maternal struggles we all go through. But you will know that you did your part to make that mother feel less invisible, or as "only" the mommy to the adorable children that you admire so much. A mother is first a woman--a beautiful, complicated, intelligent, emotional, sensitive human being who wants to be noticed and known.

But of course, after you've asked about her, don't forget to ask about her kids.

She might get mad if you don't. ;)

Recipe of the Week - Cranberry Ginger Smoothie

I am not even a "smoothie person".

I am a "I want to try my hardest to stay healthy this winter" person.

This is incredible.  Absolutely incredible.

~~~

Cranberry Ginger Smoothie 

Ingredients

• 8 oz fresh cranberries
• 1/2 of an orange
• 1/2 inch knob of fresh ginger- grated
• 1 frozen banana- if your banana isn't frozen, just add 1 cup of ice
• 3 tbsp raw honey
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• 1/2 tsp cinnamon
• 1/2 cup kefir. If you don't have kefir, you can use coconut milk or yogurt.

Instructions

• Chuck everything in your high speed blender and blend until smooth and creamy.
• If the pulp from the orange bothers you go ahead and run the smoothie through a strainer. I leave it in.
• Enjoy!

If you want to find out why this smoothie is so good for you, visit: http://ahappyhealthnut.com/2013/11/08/cranberry-ginger-smoothie/

A (Real) Season of Thanks

November. It's that time of year where there's a lot of warmth and coziness and good cheer and smiling faces. I truly, truly, love this season.  Anything that gets people to be kinder to one another, to think beyond themselves, to reach out, is a good thing, in my book.  And the holiday season does that.

However.

There's also the crazed reality of this time of year.  Shopping lists, budget stretches, overtired children, burned side dishes.  I always feel like there are moments where your choice is to either laugh, or cry.

I try really hard to choose laughter.

So in the spirit of the season, I thought I'd share with you my list of things I'm most grateful for. With a little dose of reality.

1. My husband.  A man with many, many talents, not the least of which is his ability to sleep through crying children between the hours of 10pm and 6am.  But!  I'm thankful that this full night's sleep means that he'll get up with them on the weekends.  So he's forgiven (during the daytime hours).

2. My daughter (4.5 years) . She is such an amazing little person.  Inquisitive and social and kind.  I'm thankful that she is also a master humbler: "Mommy, you should take a nap, you look tired.  And why are you wearing that shirt again today?"  She keeps me real.

3. My son (2 years).  A toddler who is ready to take on the world.  So much so that he doesn't want to ever sleep for fear of missing something. I'm grateful that he has healthy lungs that allow him to let me know that he doesn't want to sleep, and that this requires me to spend so much time sitting on the floor next to his crib.  I'm getting a lot of reading done on my Kindle.

4. My power.  I have many superpowers, but in this case, I don't mean my personal powers, but the convenience of electric power.  Yes, for lights and heat and computers and television,but especially for the coffeepot.  I know, I know.  You can make coffee without electricity.  I'm sure Laura Ingalls Wilder did it brilliantly But I need my push a button, ready in 3 minutes coffee.  Sometimes several times a day.

5. My home.  The place that's warm and safe and dry.  But I'm also thankful for the place to hide on the days when I don't get out of my pajamas till 4pm, haven't had a shower in 2 days, and am babbling from sleep deprivation.

6. My girlfriends.  As a wife and mom, these women are my lifeline.  And thanks to modern technology, they are all only a text or FB message (who has time to talk on the phone??) away.  I'm thankful that we can all be instantly connected and supported on the days when we don't get out our pajamas till 4pm, haven't showered in 2 days, and are babbling from sleep exhaustion.

7.  My writing.   Something that is for me, separate from my role as mom and wife.  I'm thankful I have this outlet to pour my energy into.  You know, at 8pm.  When my beautiful children are not climbing my legs or demanding another snack.  So after 8pm.  Did I mention I'm grateful for the ability to make quick coffee?

8. My health.  Three cheers for hearty, German stock!  I'm thankful that I'm blessed with good health.  Because nowhere in my "Mommy Benefits Package" is there mention of sick days.  I guess moms don't get those?

9. My optimism.  This parenting gig is tough.  It's easy to get bogged down in self-doubt, worries, or fears.  I'm thankful that my outlook is generally optimistic.  Well, optimism with a side of sarcasm.  It works for me.

10.  My humor.  Not just mine, but that of those I surround myself with.  I'm thankful that there are people who are willing to laugh with me, at me (only when they have my permission, of course) and for me.  During those times we're exhausted, hungry, and frustrated because our child is exhausted, hungry and frustrated, we need those moments of laughter to keep going.

Happy season of thanks, ladies. My wish for you is that you  find moments of laughter and thankfulness amidst the everyday chaos.

Single Mom Survival Guide: Surviving the Holidays

This time last year, I was a newly single parent. Every day felt like a mechanical struggle to get from beginning to end. My primary concern was waking up on time after being up all night with an infant in order to get bookbags packed, my oldest son on the bus, and getting to my new job on time so that my boss wouldn't perceive me to be the exhausted, scattered mess I was. The majority of my quiet time to myself was spent on the hour commute to work, listening to depressing songs about love and heartbreak and wondering where the hell I went wrong. As the holidays approached, I certainly wasn't feeling the holiday spirit. My mind was flooded with memories of Christmases past -- our first Christmas after getting married, cutting down Christmas trees as a family, staying up late on Christmas Eve night to put toys together. I love Christmas, but Christmas felt so bleak and alone. Knowing my kids wouldn't be with me at the Thanksgiving table killed me. Not spending Christmas Eve with my kids devastated me.

I should have known these feelings were coming. I had several divorced friends give me the "holidays are going to be a little rough this year" speech, while crushing up tranquilizers in my coffee.  Ok, well maybe not that extreme, but you know where I'm going with this. In my stubborn head, I thought I would be the exception to the rule. I went overboard buying gifts for the kids to attempt to fill the void in their hearts with crap they didn't need. If I could have crammed a Christmas tree the size of the one the Obamas had in the White House to make our lives more festive, I would have blown out one of the walls in our tiny house to do it. I played holiday music on constant repeat. I ate my weight in Christmas cookies. And none of it brought me the yuletide cheer I so desperately wanted.

I managed to survive a full 12 months of holidays on a shared custody schedule, and for me it has been an enormous test of futility. I've learned that dwelling on my time apart from my kids only fueled my own sadness. And I've learned the most important things to focus on is creating my own new traditions with my kids and to take advantage of our time apart.

I've been reflecting a lot on how I feel going into the holidays this year. I feel like much of my joy and excitement is returning. I'm eager to enjoy Thanksgiving with my extended family. I'm looking forward to cutting down a Christmas tree with my kids (although I can only ever decorate the top 1/3 of it to deter curious toddlers). And my greatest joy comes with watching my children open their gifts from Santa.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't sad about going into another holiday season alone, but I am looking forward to making the best of it. I must admit it's nice having every other weekend to myself to shop for and wrap gifts, a luxury I never had before. I don't miss wrapping gifts at 2am to avoid roaming children. And I'm looking forward to baking on my own. I hope to include my kids someday because I love it so much, but they are too young to enjoy it now. So in the meantime, I will enjoy blaring corny Christmas music and baking cookies with a glass of wine in hand. And I will make sure to keep my social calendar booked beyond that to avoid feeling lonely - spending time with my friends and family is my constant reminder that I have a great life, even when my kids aren't with me.

2013 Year in Review

Hello mamas! Can you believe 2014 is right around the corner?? I feel like I'm always saying that this time every year! Our leadership team is deep into planning for 2014 and we would value your opinion about your experiences with The Motherhood Collective this year. Would you be willing to fill out the following form for us? It is truly our passion to continue to improve the way we serve our mamas both near and far. Your opinion would help us tremendously!

[gravityform id="24" name="2013 In Review - Survey for Mamas" description="false"]

Grief: A Sneaky Little Bugger

Before I begin, let me take a moment to note that I have experienced loss in many ways - as a daughter, granddaughter, niece and friend, etc, but I have NEVER experienced loss as a mother and I can't speak to how these types of loss compare to that of a mother losing her child. Now I can continue with my story. Shortly after my daughter, Miss E's, first birthday, I was enjoying a child-free shower. My husband, J-man, was home which meant I could really relax and enjoy my shower time. Translation: I could think. That was probably my mistake. I was trying to put together something in my head I could use to post about Miss E’s first year. As I was thinking, I remembered that at this time last year while we were excited to celebrate Miss E’s first month in this world, friends of mine found out they weren’t going to be so lucky. And that is when it happened; I started crying, and then sobbing. I shed tears for that sweet angel baby who never opened her eyes. I sobbed for that mother who didn’t get to experience all those firsts. I cried for that father who would not get to revisit the toddler years.

I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to pull myself together when J-man and Miss E walked into our room. Luckily, I was able to stop. I wasn’t sure how I would explain that I was grieving over someone else’s child. It wouldn’t come as a surprise to him though. Last year, as this friend shared her story via a blog, I would read it and my husband would always know by the tears rolling down my cheeks. He once asked why I read if it upset me so much. I explained to him that this poor friend was living my greatest pregnancy nightmare. In my own way I felt that by reading her posts, I was supporting her across so many miles. Even now as I think about it my eyes fill with tears for their loss. I can’t begin to imagine what that must be like.

About 22 years, ago my mother had a miscarriage. I’ll admit I don’t always think about it. I was about 10 maybe 11 when it happened. We didn’t know what she was having, but I always say it was a little girl. You see, when my mother was pregnant, so was Elly Patterson, the mom from Lynn Johnston’s comic For Better Or For Worse. (Read on, this thought isn’t as random as it sounds.) I had always liked that comic strip. I liked the artwork.  And the children, Michael and Elizabeth, were about my older sister’s age and mine. After our loss, April was born to the Pattersons. As weird as it sounds, after that I think I was more invested in the comic strip. Sometimes I would read April’s exploits and think that my "sister" would have been about the same age, doing similar things. I guess it was part of my healing process. To this day, whenever I read For Better Or For Worse, especially if April is “starring” in it, I think of her, my baby sister who wasn’t.

Why the story about April Patterson, my mother and her miscarriage?

I was trying to figure out why I feel like I am grieving my friend's loss so strongly. Then it hit me; I feel like my daughter is my friend's "April".  Seeing Miss E grow, change and experience the things kids do, it reminds me of how I've always felt that connection to the fictional child the same age as my sister.  Grief is a tricky thing and understanding the connection makes me feel less silly about mourning so personally for my friend.

Idle Hands

Mama said, "Idle hands are Devil's handy work." -- Leanne Rhymes I have found that when I have a free moment, I cannot just sit and relax without picking up my cell phone or turning on the TV to stare at some mind-numbing show.

Why?

I was in the elevator at work and didn't have my cell phone. It was the longest 45 seconds ever! I didn't have anything to look at. I didn't have anything to distract me. It made me think, how did I get to the point in my life that I am so used to being ridiculously busy that I can't just be?

I see zombies everywhere. They walk along with their faces in their phones or iPods and they don't recognize what is going on around them. When I first saw the movie Wall-e, I thought to myself, "Geez, those people don't have to interact with each other at all...how horrible!" In a less extreme version I am starting to believe that we are on that path. Moms take their kids to the park and spend most of the time Facebook-ing or texting. An occasional glance up or a "Yea, good job" is called out without even looking to see what their child is exclaiming about. I am not above reproach here. My son is only 11 months and if we are on the floor playing and I pull out my phone he is completely zoned into what I'm doing. It makes me wonder what kind of technology will be available to him. He is already fascinated by the lights on the phones and iPad.

Have we become a society that is unable to be idle? I find that I need to be "doing something" all the time. Riding an elevator, sitting at a stop light (BAD!), listening to a boring coworker - all these trigger my compulsion to pull out my cell phone and "check it".

I feel like I am doing a huge disservice to my children! Isn't it true that children learn best by example? What am I teaching them when I cannot sit still myself? Am I teaching my son that being constantly busy is the norm? Am I telling him that he needs to learn to be patient without showing him what it means to be patient?

My challenge to myself, in his second year of life, is to be more available to him. Sure, I'm sitting on the floor "playing", but checking my phone constantly isn't being truly present. As a "working mom", I already feel guilty that I do not get enough time with him, so why do I constantly find myself squandering those precious hours I get to actually attend his play? No longer. I've recognized the problem, will try to stop it and will hopefully avoid instilling this terrible habit in my children!

Combating Morning Sickness

As I’m sitting here in my office this morning, I can't help but think about all of the phone calls I have gotten over the past couple of days concerning morning sickness. It seems like quite a common topic with my pregnant clients and friends. Even as I was driving to work this morning, my daughter called facing the same dilemma in her pregnancy. With that being my fourth call this week, I thought that it would be a common enough topic to interest you. Homeopathic & Herbal Remedies for morning sickness:

There’s a strong connection between nausea in the beginning of pregnancy and low blood sugar. Probably one of the best things you can do before adding any type of remedy is to make sure you eat a small meal and/or snacks quite frequently throughout the day. I would also advise not to go more than 90 minutes between snacks.

A couple of things to keep in mind when you’re snacking is to eat protein-rich snacks, such as nuts, hummus & crackers, bananas, guacamole, etc.

Increase your Iron and Vitamin B supplements, especially Vitamin B1 and B6. Vitamin B deficiency can also cause morning sickness.

Avoid spicy and greasy foods when possible.

Try to eat crackers or something similar before getting out of bed in the morning.

Drink a teaspoon of Apple Cider Vinegar in 8 oz. of warm water first thing in the morning.

Drink 1 or 2 cups of raspberry leave tea or infusion each day

Other teas or infusions to calm nausea in pregnancy:

• Make tea from dried peach leaves
• Drink peppermint tea or infusion
• Ginger root – tea or infusion

You can go to any health food store and buy Peppermint and/or Spearmint Oil (not extract) – put a couple of drops on a wet washcloth and lay beside you. You can also do this with lavender as well.

Something that women don’t think about that can help tremendously – go outside and walk a mile or so a day, if approved by health care provider. Chemical byproducts can increase hormonal activity and cause a buildup in the body, which can stimulate and contribute to morning sickness. Walking can help to get out these toxins and reduce the chance of buildup.

Morning sickness is a very common side effect of pregnancy, but with these few tricks of the trade, I hope that it can be something you can quickly overcome so that you can enjoy your pregnancy feeling wonderful and full of energy.

*All information was gathered from Susan Weed’s Wise Women Herbal for the Childbearing Year. This is a wonderful book that I would recommend to any woman who is pregnant or interested in pregnancy/childbirth.

Disclaimer:

Anticipation and Beyond uses all reasonable effort to provide accurate, up-to-date and evidence-based information for teaching and counseling purposes. All information that is written for blogs, social media posts, and websites is to be used for education and informational purposes only. All data and instruction from Anticipation and Beyond should not be intended to replace or substitute professional or medical advice from your health care provider. Direct all of your family’s concerns, questions, and health issues to your health care provider.   The information provided is not and may not be applicable to every situation. The purpose of Anticipation and Beyond providing guidance and education to new families is two-fold. The first purpose is for the intention of teaching parents about the many choices and alternatives that are available to them. The second motivation is to encourage families to dig down deep and research themselves from reliable resources that will help to enlighten their new journey.

Meet The Motherhood Collective© Staff: Debbie Perdew

Ever wonder who’s behind The Motherhood Collective? Over the next few weeks we’ll be introducing you to our dedicated team of volunteers. These women are all mothers – once, twice or many times over. While they come from different backgrounds and have various approaches to pregnancy, birth and parenting, each one is dedicated to creating a place where ALL mothers can find education and support. We’re so excited to introduce you to Miss Debbie! She is our Lead Childcare Worker and spends her Café Monday mornings lovingly caring for the children of our local mamas.

Miss Debbie has transformed the Childcare we offer on Monday mornings at the Café. As a mother to many, her years of experience as a mama and grandma probably have something to do with this.

Greeting the little ones, ages 1 – 4, with a warm smile and big hugs she works with her two assistants (Miss Amanda and Miss Abby) to bring fun and order to the two hours she spends with the children.

By limiting the childcare number to 15, Miss Debbie and her assistants are able to provide careful attention to allergies, special needs and requests. In addition, Miss Debbie creates an environment that is warm and welcoming for many of our little ones who are experiencing their first childcare situation.

Children spend the morning in a room directly adjacent to our Café meeting space. During check-in, mamas fill in detailed name tags, complete with allergy information, age and nickname. The children are then welcomed into a room with a soaring ceiling and lots of light, and filled with age appropriate toys, books and activities.

Our Cafés meet the second and fourth Mondays of each month. Registration for our Café Childcare opens at noon on the Monday before a scheduled Café. Registration is available on a "first-come, first-served" basis and closes after reaching 15 spots or at 7pm the Sunday before the Café (whichever comes first).

If you are local and have utilized our childcare, we hope you will take the time to thank Miss Debbie for her excellent care of your children. She has filled a very specific need most beautifully.

Thank you, Miss Debbie, for serving the women and families of The Motherhood Collective©.

Click here for additional details regarding our Café Childcare can be found here.