Montessori Moods: Sound Cylinders

The sound cylinders are a very fun sensorial activity. The purpose is to refine the sense of hearing and to teach vocabulary such as “loud,” “soft,” “loudest,” “louder,” etc. Traditionally the activity consists of twelve wooden cylinders, six with red tops and six with blue tops. Each set is filled with six different fillings that each makes a different sound, such that there are six matching pairs.

Sound cylinders are very easy to make. You just need twelve opaque containers with lids. Film canisters come to mind, but are harder to come by these days. I used Easter eggs for mine. They are easy to find at the right time of year and pretty cheap. I was a bit desperate to make them when I did and the only eggs I could find that were matching and in sufficient quantity were camo. A little bit distracting, but not too bad. To simplify the activity a bit, I only made four "cylinders" per set instead of six. To distinguish the two sets, I drew purple circles on one end of the egg with a permanent marker. Not my proudest DIY moment, but they work for us. I’m sure you can figure out something more sophisticated! We use egg cartons cut down to size to store them.

I then filled the eggs with four different fillings. My “loudest” filling is dried beans. My softest filling is salt. The two in the middle were some type of grains I had in my pantry. The exact filling doesn’t matter, you just need them to make four different sounds from loud to soft. You could use rocks, dirt, sand, coins, beads—whatever you can find in your house.

I know. They're ugly.

To present the activity, take both groups of cylinders to a table or rug (when doing work on the floor, Montessori uses a rug to define the work space for the child). Place both sets next to each other. Take a cylinder from group one and shake it next to your ear. Do the same thing with the other three in that group. Let your child do the same. Take the loudest cylinder and shake it again. Then grab one of the cylinders from group two with your other hand and shake it. If they don’t match, put the group two cylinder back and try a different one. Go through all of group two until you find the one that matches. Set the pair aside and match the remaining three using the same procedure. Encourage your child to repeat the activity.

Once your child has had some experience doing the first activity, you can do some extensions. You can teach vocabulary using the three period lesson and also grade the cylinders from loudest to softest. You can play different memory games by putting the groups on different rugs/tables with a little distance between them. You can ask the child to find a cylinder that is louder or softer than a specific cylinder. You can also do the activity blindfolded!

This is one of my favorite sensorial activities. I hope you and your child enjoy it, too!

The Journey is actually the Destination

A lot of times, in life and parenting, I feel like I'm on a carnival ride. Sometimes it entertains me and other times it makes me queasy.It seems like I am always looking forward to tomorrow; to the next stage in life, to the next developmental milestone for my kids, to a time where I can slow down and enjoy myself. Well, Self, that time needs to be NOW. How is it that I stop and think and realize my son is almost a year and a half old?! I always think about what I was doing this time last year, or the year before, and wonder how time has moved so fast! I used to scoff when people would tell me, "It[time] goes so fast, especially when you have children". I didn't believe them. Then, I found myself wishing time away because I was so impatient to accomplish something or to witness another big step in my sons life. I couldn't wait until he could crawl, then I couldn't wait for him to walk, now I hardly remember the crawling stage. How did that go by so quickly?

I recently read on a recipe blog that "the journey is the destination" (Source: therebelchick.com). Wow, I had never thought of life like that. I'm always aiming at a goal but I lose sight of how I get there, or what happened along the way. Sure, in the moment, I think that I'm cherishing my kids and my life, but as a whole I'm so not as present as I want to be! I'm always rushing, even when I don't have any kind of time constraints. Once, I made it into Walmart, with a toddler, got the 15+ items on my list, and made it out to my car in ten minutes. Why am I proud of that? Thinking back, I don't even think I had anything pressing. Do I really need to move like a maniac in a store to get the things I need and get home? No. The simple answer is NO. Yes, there are times when rushing is required but on a regular day would it kill me to let my son walk through the store and look at whatever he wants more than once and awhile? When he points at something and says, "Doh" why can't I wheel him over there so he can get a closer look at what has grabbed his attention more often than not? These are small and frivolous things but if I can't do that, how am I to change the big things?

The Journey is the Destination. Where do I want to go as a parent, as a friend, as a daughter or a sister? How can I make my Journey more meaningful and deliberate? Maybe that is the key, being deliberate. I'm challenging myself this month to actively stop, breathe, and savor the everyday moments that I take for granted. Will you take that challenge with me?

Single Mom Survival Guide: Adventures in Dating

I am quickly approaching the two year anniversary of my newly-"re"found singlehood, and feel like I am finally in a place where I can think about dating again. I tackled my relationship fears early on, regrouped on my own, got my life together, and have really embraced being single. There are a lot of aspects of being on my own that I really do enjoy, especially after so many years as a couple. I make my own decisions, I don't rely so much on second opinions, and I can hog the whole bed at night. But at the same time, I am ready for companionship from someone. Someone who makes me laugh. Someone to go to dinner or the movies with. Someone to have grown up conversations with, to travel with, and to let into my life again. I tried my hand at dating early on in the divorce process. It wasn't an effort to find Mr. Right so much as an exercise to see if I still had "it." I was searching for confirmation that, despite my sleepless nights caring for tiny kids and long work days in a poorly lit cubicle hopped up on caffeine and stress, I could still pull myself together, dress myself up, and be capable of attracting the opposite sex. But there is a lot of truth to the idea that you will attract the wrong people when you're not comfortable with being on your own. Most of the people I met were in the same boat as me: recently divorced, bitter, untrusting. Or they were guys just playing the field - something I was never fond of even when I was younger. These dates all went horribly, and I immediately thought it must be me. I was attacting losers, so I must be a loser too. I was embarassed to even talk about these dates, because I thought my friends would think I was nuts. But after a few drinks with friends, these dating horror stories made for good entertainment. And I quickly learned that everyone has been through it, and a bad date (or 10) doesn't make you a bad catch.

So as I embark on this dating adventure again, I reached out to my friends for some funny dating stories from their journeys to find Mr. (and Mrs.!) right. It's always nice to know I'm not alone in this crazy search for love. And as a tribute to those friends that make me laugh every day and remind me that I'm still a hot tamale, I'm sharing some of our most classic dating gems from our archives.

(Disclaimer: Identities have been hidden to protect the innocent, and their stories have been censored to protect the faint of heart. The unrated versions are raunchy and fabulous.)

"I found what I refer to as a solid gold online match: an engineer, who was good looking and seemed nice enough. We met for dinner on a Friday night. He refused to eat, since he made waffle fries at home prior to the date. He also looked nothing like his picture, and in fact resembled the lizard creature from Monsters Inc. He was the most miserable person I've ever met. He told me about his horrible job, which turns out he wasn't in any way an engineer. An hour into the date, he informed me that his mother was there with us at the very same bar. Super! Trying to sneak out wasn't an option, so I spent the next 40 minutes getting acquainted with his mother, who was drunk and high on narcotics, as she recently had back surgery. Between screaming "what's this girl's name again?" and falling off of her bar stool, she did engage me with an unforgettable yet compelling conversation about Chris Daughtry's new album. As my date and I were leaving, he asked to see me again. Umm, were we just in the same air space?!?! No way! Unless of course your mom is coming again."

"I went out on a blind date with a guy right before I was going to be out of town for two weeks on vacation. He made a comment over dinner that it was a shame I was going away, because he had 'needs' that wouldn't be taken care of. At this point in the evening, I was pretty drunk, so I flipped out over chicken fajitas and told him that sleeping with me is a privilege and that he should take care of his own needs."

"I met a guy through a dating website, who seemed like a nice guy trying to make conversation. Like each person on a dating website, I checked out his profile immediately after reading his message. The guy seemed normal, good looking, 5'10" height, great! So we scheduled a date to meet for sushi. Date night arrives and he texts me that he's outside. I jump in his SUV, and we head to my favorite sushi place. As we park and I get out of the car, I look over and couldn't see him after he jumped out. I suddenly see him appear from around the hood of the car and realize that this guy is no where near 5 feet tall, let alone 5'10". Not what I expected, and not a great night to wear platform heels. I looked like a giant!"

"I went on a date with a guy I met through a dating website. He asked me to meet him at a Dunkin Donuts on a Saturday afternoon. He stared at my chest the whole time and proceeded to tell me he was waiting for his new teeth to come in, since his actual teeth were broken in a car accident. He then segued into conversation about his grandmother, who keeps asking him when he is going to get married and settle down. He says, 'I just haven't found the right girl, but maybe I won't have to look any further.' We then head to the movies, and the only movie playing was the kids' Disney movie, 'Up.' We were the first ones in the theater, so he tries to make out with me. I stop him just before the theater starts to fill up with little kids and their parents. After the date, I say thank you for the nice time but that I didn't feel any connection. So he asks if I like German guys because he has a German friend who just recently broke up with his girlfriend that tried to stab him. I wasn't really sure how to nicely respond to that."

"New to world of attempting to date while in my 30s, and after serious pressure from my friends, I thought 'what the hell' and put myself back out there. I was in my early 30s, divorced, good career, attractive, and slightly athletic, I should be a catch! One evening, I met a very attractive woman in her late 20s for drinks at a local bar. I pull up nervously to the bar and wait outside. Within minutes, a HUGE diesel pickup truck pulls up and my lovely 'lady' emerges. We exchange awkward hellos and went in to get a drink. After the introductions and first round was purchased, she immediately withdrew her phone and began texting. Minutes drug by and I chugged my beer as fast as possible. After what seemed like an eternity, we finally began the horribly awkward conversation. As she loosened up, she told me the story of her long-time ex boyfriend who now resides in federal prison convicted of embezzlement (and showed me the article online to prove it). She bragged about how awesome that relationship was because he bought her a house 30 minutes away and let her do whatever and whomever she pleased as long as she was ready for him when he needed her. Wow. At this point, I ordered another drink. Not because I had ANY interest in this shallow, monster truck driving 'lady,' but because it was just far too entertaining to leave. Over the course of the next 2 hours, she told stories of a myriad of other awful situations. Finally, the booze began getting the better of her and she really came to life. She began making fun of EVERYONE in the bar, LOUDLY. And I don't mean the light jabs about this fella's mullet or that girl squeezing into yoga pants - I mean rude, cruel, awful things about everyone's appearance, clothing, demeanor, laughs, voices, race, you name it. I was mortified because people were beginning to look at us, and I was even quite sad for this horribly vane, disgusting excuse for a human being. I quickly looked at my phone and excused myself."

Putting yourself out there is an adventure in itself. You definitely have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince or princess the second time around. I'm looking forward to the challenge - I'm definitely a handful, so I'm sure I have been the topic of someone's nightmare dating story at a bar somewhere. If nothing else, these frog tales make for great happy hour conversation, so I always look forward to drinks with friends. I wish you the best on your post-divorce dating adventure!

Budgeting Hacks from a Freelancer Mom

So you’ve made a decision to be a stay-at-home mom. Despite all efforts to balance work-life, 24 hours just doesn’t seem enough for both family and career. You know that there are many other jobseekers waiting to take your job, but there is only one person who can best take care of your kids – and that’s you.

The whole idea just sounds liberating, but there are worries that go with the life ahead. You know that giving up your income means cutting down your savings too. Well there are always ways to balance income and spending. Here are 10 budgeting hacks for stay-home moms.

1. Income vs. Spending

Logically, the income you gave up from your career must equal your cuts in spending. Fortunately, not having to go to office has already saved you some money effortlessly – from transportation to designer clothing and commercial food. Now all you need is to find a few more sources of potential savings. Try searching in your credit card bill. You might find some habitual purchases that aren’t necessary after all.

2. Be creative

When cutting down on unnecessary purchases isn’t enough, it’s time to cut down on the basics. This doesn’t mean a complete turnaround in your lifestyle. It may only entail a little creativity, like redesigning your home to conserve energy and water. Consider these simple ways of achieving sustainable home designs:

·         Insulate your home. Insulating acts as a barrier to prevent heat from passing in during summer, and passing out during winter.

·         Use energy-efficient lighting, like LED and CFL bulbs.

·         Choose efficient appliances with positive product reviews.

·         Turning electrical appliances off, instead of leaving them in standby mode also saves on energy.

·         Collect rainwater for your plants.

3. Downsize a bit

You may also consider downsizing your house to a townhouse or condo. Find one that provides the right living space for your family. It can provide you the same comfort while saving on mortgage/rent and maintenance costs.

4. Do it yourself

As you spend more time at home, you may discover that there are services you formerly paid for that you can now do yourself like housekeeping and babysitting. Aside from saving money, you’ll see that sometimes, nobody can do the job better than the big boss.

5. Home cooking

Even a budget meal in a restaurant could not compare with the taste (and cost) of mama’s home cooking. This also allows you to choose the right food that satisfies your family’s nutritional needs.

6. Plan ahead

Of course, you don’t want to miss on birthday celebrations and family vacations. When big expenditures like these come along, it’s best to plan ahead. This keeps you from splurging, while keeping the occasion as special and memorable as you intend it to be.

7. Garage sale

Budgeting is not all about cutting on costs, but finding additional sources of income too. Why not try having a garage sale. As your kids grow, you’ll find lots of stuff that they’ve outgrown that are still worth selling.

8. Create and sell

Your old stuff may not be only thing worth selling. It’s time to look into things you can create that others cannot, or simply don’t have time to do. Beaded jewelry, arts and crafts, cakes and cookies – these may just be some things you can make and sell for extra income.

9. Online selling

Well it doesn’t have to be your own creation. You can source products worth selling to your neighbors and friends. Selling online further expands your market without requiring you to leave your home.

10. Establish a career at home

Being a stay-home mom does not necessarily mean the end of your career. As your kids grow, you’ll also find the need to grow and expand your horizon and establish a career at home. Good thing, there are home-based jobs, such as online careers that allow you to keep your talents useful.

As moms, we are always willing to make the necessary sacrifices for our kids’ physical and emotional wellbeing. But this doesn’t mean we need to sacrifice on our budget items and personal growth. It only takes a few adjustments to shift from career woman to stay-home mom. Once you’ve overcome the adjustments, you’ll be amazed to see that with the same 24 hours a day, attending to your kids, balancing you finances and using to your talents to earn extra income are all possible.

by Jona Jone

Jona Jone is a Washington Times Communities writer and a mother of 2 (going 3) kids.

Green Diets For Mothers-to-be

During my first pregnancy, I read articles for pregnant women about what do and what not to do, what to eat and the food must be avoided. It’s amazing to see how modern discoveries have set a new diet plan for pregnant women, and with these came new terms that were formerly unheard of. One of these is folic acid.

According to one article, taking folic acid before and during pregnancy can help prevent birth defects of your baby's brain and spinal cord. Among the foods rich in folic acid are green leafy vegetables – the darker and leafier, the more concentrated is the foliate. So is green diet good for pregnant women?

The Green Benefits

Surely, green diet has its benefits. They are rich in vitamins and minerals, plus fiber that are essential in prenatal months. Aside from its dietary benefits, these plants are useful for pregnant women in more ways. Try including lettuce, for instance, in your indoor plants. Lettuce likes plenty of sun from south-facing windows. During my pregnancy, these greens helped create a relaxing mood, plus the added oxygen it brings to my home helped relieve the nauseating feeling. Not only that, it is counted as one of the fast growing plants, so it’s sure to grow way ahead before your baby is born. Now that’s proof of plants being one of the health and productivity hacks.

Add More to the Green

Yes, dark green leafy vegetables may give you your needed fiber and 0.4 mg of folic acid, but that’s not all there is in a pregnant woman’s diet. There are other essential nutrients that a green diet cannot offer, so don’t forget to add these in your meal plan:

·         6-11 servings of bread and grains

An expert says you should consume about 300 more calories per day than you did before you became pregnant.

·         2-4 servings of fruit, plus 4 or more servings of vegetables

Citrus fruits like orange, lemon and grapefruits are good sources of vitamin C, while yellow vegetables like carrots and pumpkins are good sources of vitamin A.

·         4 servings of dairy products

This will help ensure that you get your needed 1000-1300 mg of calcium daily

·         3 servings of protein sources (meat, poultry, fish, eggs or nuts)

These foods are rich in iron too.

·         Use fats and sweets sparingly

The Green Drink

For a pregnant woman, especially the picky-eaters like me, this recommended diet sounds too much to take. Plus we do not want to put on the unnecessary weight. The good news is, there are trends in diet that allow us to take all the needed nutrients in a convenient and appetizing way. Try preparing a green drink. This is a mixture of green vegetables, plus every other healthy ingredient that you might find in your fridge, like avocado. Don’t be afraid to experiment with other ingredients like apples too. Put them in a blender to prepare a juice or a smoothie. If it works well for the health buffs and the weight conscious who count their calorie and nutrient intake, it should work well for pregnant mothers too. But don’t forget that this is not meant to replace your meal. It is simply a dietary supplement.

Eating for Two

It’s not just the greens but all the colored fruits and vegetables – red, orange, yellow, purple and white – that ensure a variety of nutrients for you and your baby. Interestingly, expert dietician Karin Hosenfeld adds, “During the later stages of pregnancy, the baby 'tastes' the foods you eat through the amniotic fluid. So if you expose your baby to a variety of healthy fruits and vegetables in the womb, you'll increase the chance that your baby will recognize and accept those flavors later on."

As a pregnant mom, you don’t need to go on a special diet to ensure the nutritional needs for you and your baby. All it takes is a good variety, balance and moderation. Remember that what you eat today defines the well-being of your baby. So go and give him a healthy headstart so he is well-prepared to face the world.

About the author:

EMILY HARPER - I am housewife, a mother, and active member of our neighborhood watch. I empower families on how to ensure safety by investing in home security technology.

You can read more by Emily on her blog at www.securityocean.com

Recipe of the Week - Creamy Shrimp Pasta

 

I love to cook and I enjoy improvising from recipes I find online (or watch on Food Network or the Cooking Channel) to make dishes my own.  One of the super-easy recipes I make almost weekly is for Creamy Shrimp Pasta.  Now, I don't have specific measurements - I tend to cook to taste, so all of these directions should be amended to whatever size meal you are making and to your specific preferences.

Start some pasta cooking.  Hubby likes fettuccini, so that I what I use most often, but this dish would be yummy with any kind of pasta.

I use whatever size shrimp I have in the freezer (and that just depends on what I find on sale) and thaw and peel it.  I then sauté some chopped garlic (I like a lot of garlic, but, again, make this to taste!) in olive oil to start cooking.  Before the garlic is fully cooked, I add the thawed & peeled shrimp to cook up until they are just pink (it really only takes 3-4 minutes, depending the size of the shrimp).

Once the shrimp are cooked, I add some white wine and let that cook to burn off a little of the alcohol (this step can absolutely be left out if you prefer!).  To finish the dish, I add some heavy cream, salt, pepper and some cayenne pepper or red pepper flakes for a little heat.

Then toss the sauce with the fettuccini (or your pasta of choice), perhaps grate some parmesan cheese over it (if you are cheese lovers like we are) and serve!

Car Seat Safety: It's a Passion of Mine

Greetings from your Resident Safety Advisor!  I'm here to discuss all things related to child safety, but first I wanted to give you a little background about my journey into safety and a passion of mine - car seats.  If you have any topics you particularly would like to see covered (car seat related or not), please send us an email and let us know.

When I was pregnant with my first child, I spent a little time researching options for car seats.  And then went out and registered for one that came with a jogging stroller I liked (we live on a farm, those large tires are very helpful on uneven ground) and called it done.  After all, an infant seat is designed for infants, right?  What could be wrong with it?  Then my daughter was born.  Her head drooped in the seat in an unsightly and seemingly uncomfortable way.  She would scream for entire trips and upon arrival, would be drenched in sweat.  I dreaded car rides.  After one of (many) visits to our lactation consultant she followed us out to the car and noticed how my daughter slept in her infant seat once connected to the base.  She made a few suggestions and advised getting our seat checked for proper installation.

I silently rolled my eyes and dutifully went home and tried to make the suggested changes, without much effect.  A few weeks later I found myself enrolled in a car seat workshop that was followed by a member of the Lynchburg Fire Department inspecting our seats and installations.  I learned a lot from the course the instructor made some changes to my daughter's seat.  Then I started reading.  Come to find out, the very seat I had selected (remember, I liked the jogging stroller that came with it), which was rated for use in babies as little as 5 pounds, is known to be a horrible fit for newborns.  Infuriated by this knowledge, and tired of a fussy baby in the back seat, I moved my daughter into her convertible seat (and a much better fit) and had many happier travels.

My personal experience started me on a journey I never expected.  Car seats became a hobby, a passion.  I have a tendency to get stuck on a topic and read a lot (too much?) on it.  I've been reading about car seats and their use for nearly three years now.  Friends began coming to me for advice on car seats.  I relished each question because it gave me something else to research (just last night one of these inquiries had me researching the differences between Swedish and Australian rear facing tether systems; sounds fascinating, right?).  Earlier this year, I was told, partially in a joking manner, that I should consider becoming a certified car seat technician.  Three weeks later I was enrolled in a course and received the official title of “Child Safety Passenger Technician,” or CPST for short.  Car seats can be frustrating, their manuals can be confusing, and some are simply not easy to install or adjust, and the recommendations on which seat to use when never seem to stop changing.  I'm here to help.

A few facts about car seats and their use in the United States:

• Motor vehicle injuries are the number one cause of death among children in the United States.
  • The use of properly installed and properly fitted car seats can decrease the risk of death to infants (age less than 1 year) by 71% and to toddlers (age 1-4 years) by 54%.
  • When compared to the use of seat belts alone, the use of booster seats reduces the risk of serious injury by 45% for children aged 4-8 years.
  • It’s estimated that over 90% of car seats are used improperly, either due to improper installation techniques or improper fit.
• All car seats on the market are subject to the same standards established by National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA), and must pass the same test in order to be sold in the US.  However, there is no governing body that oversees the tests themselves; it is left up to the individual manufacturers to perform the tests and report the results.
• There is no one "safest" car seat.  The safest car seat (no matter the brand or model) is the one that:
  • Fits your child
  • Fits your car
  • Fits your family’s needs in terms of comfort and convenience, so that you’ll use it every time

So, now that The Motherhood Collective offers our mamas a "Resident Safety Advisor," what does this mean?  I'm here to help you understand safety concerns that relate to our children and advise you on how to handle them.  As a CPST, I'm able to help educate and train parents on proper car seat use.  In the broad goals of The Motherhood Collective, we hope to eventually be able to offer car seat inspections to local mothers to ensure their proper use.  In the meantime, I'm here to serve as a safety educator and offer advice and education.  My goals are to start offering posts on car seat tips and installations, and then branch out into other safety education topics.

Print the Pictures

Last night I had a rare opportunity. I was home for the most part by myself. Girls were with Grandparents, Josh was out with some guys for work, so it was just me and Tacy. I had grand plans on what I was going to do with my night and I ended up spending it working on photos.Every year I say I want to get better at documenting our lives. It is an easy thing to SAY it’s much harder to do. Last year I was actually pretty good at getting photos. But in this digital day and age it’s way too easy for those photos to stay on my computer or phone. So last night I bit the bullet. I created and ordered a photo book with my favorite 200 photos of 2013. I also ordered all the photos I have taken in the month of January so I can try my hand a new scrapbook system. Lastly I sorted through all the printed photos I have and organized them chronologically. All in all it was a good night, though not at all easy. It wasn’t the time or money, though both of those were a bit frustrating. More than anything it was spending hours and hours looking at photos of myself. While it has been a wonderful year it has been a hard year and giving birth to a baby rarely does kind things to our bodies. So here I sit a month into the new year staring at pages and pages of photos of myself I would rather bury. It would be very easy to hit delete but I didn’t I hit print. In 12 years when my now six month old is struggling with her body image I want her to look back and see pictures of me… a little stocky, exhausted, wearing a bright pink shirt standing on Aztec ruins in Cozumel my belly growing with her in it. I want all my daughters to see that I lived a full life. I want them to see that I didn’t let my insecurities hold me back. And so I hit print. And I will continue to take silly faced selfies with my girls, and let my husband snap photos even when I am covered in baby spit up, and I will continue to hit print. And I encourage you to do the same. Take photos, hit print, put them in a book, stash them in a drawer, just do something with them. Your children think you are absolutely beautiful, leave being proof for them that they are right.

Montessori Moods: Your House is a Classroom

I have been dreading this post, because there are times in my life when doing formal Montessori just doesn’t fit. Either I’m tired, we’re busy, or my kids just aren’t into it (and I don’t have the patience to work with them). The thing that encourages me during these times is that my entire house is a Montessori classroom. And yours is, too. My kids put their own clothes on. They did Montessori.

They helped me mix up pancakes for breakfast. They did Montessori.

We read a whole bunch of books together and the older one sounded out some words and was reminded of some puzzle words. We did Montessori.

The older one demanded a chore to do and mopped the floor. He did Montessori!

If you are letting your children live life with you and allowing them to do things on their own as much as you can (and your patience allows), you are doing Montessori. Give them space to do things themselves and let them mess up and get things wrong. And then let them try to figure out how to get it right. This is one of the most difficult things for Mamas to do. I want to rush in and tell them what to do and fix their backwards clothes, but what they really need is for me to leave them alone and let them try to figure it out on their own.

So don’t be hard on yourself when you’re not doing anything formal! Every day has opportunities for your child to learn without you preparing for it.

Car(t) Seats & Safety

Perhaps you’ve read the safety concerns of resting your infant's car seat atop the shopping cart. (If you have not heard, consider looking into it from these reputable sources here and here). But this is not a rant about that, not at all! It is actually a solution!

Maybe I just never noticed it before, but the WalMart (on Wards Road) has car seat docking stations. These nifty contraptions essentially allow you to safely buckle your child into a universal dock atop the shopping cart. It is safer than resting the seat on the top bars and saves you room in the cart area so you can actually, ya know, buy stuff! See this brief cheesy video showing the device.

Check out my seven month old in her Graco car seat. See how the black and red lap belt securely fastens over the car seat? It is a lot like being in a car when you do not have the base. >smile<

Also notice the blue docking piece it rests in. That thing is bolted and welded to the buggy, so it’s not going anywhere either.

Maybe these have been out for ages and I never noticed them. Is my #newmomstatus showing? Anyway, you can safely shop with baby while fitting more than 3 items in your cart! Woohoo!

ONE IMPORTANT CAVEAT: the configuration sits the car seat very high, so for shorties like me, it becomes difficult to see the 'road'. I may or may not have bumped into someone driving a motorized buggy... Ummm, oops! So be cautious.

These are probably available more places than I realized… where else have you seen them?

Pinterest Envy

Sometimes I feel like I’m clawing my way back to some semblance of what and who I was before having a child. There have been quite a few moments in my life lately where I stop and ask myself, “Did I JUST say that?”. Usually it’s either my mother coming out of my mouth or some meaner version of myself because I’m exhausted, irritated, frustrated, or some combination of all. There are days when I want to bury my head under my pillow and just be silent. There are days when I want to open the door, step outside, close the door, and breathe for 5 minutes. And you know what? That is ok. That is the biggest lesson I’ve learned this month. It’s ok to be sad. It’s ok to get frustrated. I am NOWHERE NEAR a perfect person let alone a perfect mother. Pinterest has ruined the measure I hold myself to. I got found that I am so caught up in making things “perfect” or “picture worthy” that I miss the moment entirely. I miss the silly fun because I’m trying to get a perfect angle for the photo or I miss actually sitting down and enjoying the Tea Party that I’ve thrown for my step-daughters 6th birthday. Why? Because I am more concerned about documenting all of my hard work that I don’t get to experience the whole reason behind all of that effort. I’ll say it again, Pinterest has ruined me.

So often I am looking for fun ideas to do with the kids or different ideas for holidays (we’ve had at least one big one a month for the past 6 months). I get overwhelmed with what other people have thought of and done for their children. I think to myself, well, I can do that! So I set out and end up letting the process of making whatever it is so consuming that it actually puts me in a bad mood. I get stressed trying to be like those magical mothers on Pinterest and I turn into nothing like what they say they are. I get short, angry, sad, upset, all of the above. When did I decide that I have to work outside the home, make educational crafts for my 15 month old from scratch, make fantastic and complex meals every night, plan elaborate parties for a one year old and a six year old who would have been happy with a cake from a bakery with their name in rainbow colors? I do it to myself. I go WAY overboard. Why am I measuring myself against what I see on Pinterest? Does it make me less of a mother that I don’t have homemade pillow cases or recycle my old candle wax and turn it into a fantastic art project? No. If anyone is able to do all of that I sincerely applaud you. I do not have the stamina, patience, or energy. I’m exhausted. The tea party birthday has been over for three weeks and I’m still tired. Granted, it was fabulous and my teapot cake is something that I’m still very proud of but truly, I did too much. I stayed up late all week before the party to get things ready. As I’m typing this I’m shaking my head at myself. It’s not about the things that I did, it’s about the way I let it change my attitude because I was overextending myself. I am glad she had an awesome party, but I was miserable. I’m still a good mother. I will continue to make their birthday cakes but I need to calm down on my Pinterest envy and focus on the things that matter; like having tea with my kiddo while she eats star shaped sandwiches in her Aurora Princess dress and crown.

Am I alone in feeling this way? Do all mothers feel like they should be doing more? Do all mothers stop and feel so inadequate some days that it’s defeating? Yes, I believe they do. The positive to this is that there are sooo many wonderful things about motherhood that can drown some of this negativity out. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It doesn’t even have to be picture worthy. What I need to learn to focus on is the experience, not the “stuff”.

This was a really hard lesson for me to swallow this month. If you are anything like me, feel encouraged that you are not alone. We don’t have to be “the best mom in the world”, we just have to be the best mom to OUR children. That seems like a lot less pressure!

Ritual

The holidays have come and gone. If you are well organized the decorations are down and you MIGHT **MIGHT** even have Valentine’s Day decorations up. (If you are like me you will MEAN to make/hang these for the next few weeks and then wake up on Valentine’s day and realize you never did get around to it). I think that often times it is easy to pack the traditions up with the tinkle lights and sparkle. We act as those traditions are for big occasions and special events. And yet, I think so many of us crave for more. Perhaps “tradition” is too strong of a word for the day to day life. Maybe “ritual” is better. I didn’t make any big resolutions this year, but one thing I am trying to create more of for my girls is routine, ritual, rhythm. I life that ebbs and flows with the days and the seasons. It doesn’t have to be anything big, and it definitely will get thrown out the window if it induces stress or guilt. But, I think, when done right, having those things that we can count on, that we anticipate give us the frame work that allows us to grow and bloom.

Our first ritual has started out small, without meaning to we have incorporated after school hot chocolate into our daily rhythm. It gives both my girls something to look forward to when the older one gets off from school. It gives me time to listen to their day and look through their folders. It gives everyone a few moments to transition from “day” to “evening”.

I encourage you this month, the month of “love” to find a ritual that speaks to your heart. Maybe you light a candle each morning, maybe you speak a prayer over your child while they sleep, maybe you commit to finding ten minutes each day to make a cup of tea, of coffee, or hot chocolate and drink it’s while it’s still hot.

2013 Year in Review

Hello mamas! Can you believe 2014 is right around the corner?? I feel like I'm always saying that this time every year! Our leadership team is deep into planning for 2014 and we would value your opinion about your experiences with The Motherhood Collective this year. Would you be willing to fill out the following form for us? It is truly our passion to continue to improve the way we serve our mamas both near and far. Your opinion would help us tremendously!

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Montessori Moods: Transferring Part II, Pouring

Pouring is another fun transferring activity that provides life skills and prepares the muscles of the hand and wrist for writing. Start with two similarly sized pitchers small enough for your child to handle. Creamers are good, as are small liquid measuring cups. Keep your eyes open at thrifts stores, dollar stores and places like TJ Maxx for attractive creamers and such. Nice looking objects will make the activity more enticing! However, you will notice the ugly plastic measuring cup in the pictures below. Sometimes you just need to use what you have. Fill one of the pitchers with beans. I used somewhat large beans here (my youngest is just two), but you could also try smaller ones like lentils and see how your child does. Demonstrate slowly placing your fingers around the handle, moving the pitcher over the center of the other one, and slowly pouring the beans. If you spill any onto the tray, pick them up with thumb and forefinger and drop them into the filled pitcher. Now pour the other pitcher using the opposite hand. Then let your child try! There may be some spillage, but no worries. The whole point is to help them learn to do it. Once they’ve mastered beans, you can move on to pouring rice. After rice they can try water. Whenever you let them use water, provide a rag or small sponge so that they can clean up any spills themselves.

Here my son is pouring water from a small pitcher into juice glasses. You can use a small pitcher like this and keep it in the refrigerator filled with water or milk for your child to pour his own drink. My older son (almost four) can actually pour milk from a gallon jug now if it’s half or less full. He needs to steady it with his left hand, and you can show your child how to do this, too. It’s all about progression to more challenging movements. Give them enough practice with the easier activities before they move onto more difficult ones. There are lots of fun variations like pouring with a funnel or pouring from a tea pot into tea cups. You can use colored water (if you dare!). Children can also get less formal pouring practice with a tub of rice or a basin of water outside.

They really love this kind of real-life activity, so set something up and give it a try! Soon you’ll have a little helper for meal and snack times!