Friday Introductions: Meet our Executive Team

We're joining the Friday Introductions bandwagon, and taking time each week to introduce you to some of our amazing volunteer staff! This week we have the privilege of introducing you to our fearless leader, Lauren! Her passion to educate and equip women has fueled the mission of The Motherhood Collective and is making a lasting impact in the world of maternal health. She gives endlessly, works tirelessly (seriously. she should sleep more.) and we are forever grateful for her!

1) Introduce yourself!
Lauren Elise Barnes, thirty (and loving it), married for almost nine years to Adam and mama to Beatrice, my bringer of joy!

2) How did you come to work with TMC?
HA! That’s a story. For the full rendition, read our Birth Story. A clif notes version would be that having grown up in Lynchburg, VA, I was shocked that there were not more education and support options for women from preconception – postpartum. After meeting an incredible educator, we decided to create that which we were longing for! The Café (our flagship program) was born and the Collective grew from there. I have been working with the organization ever since, and I wouldn’t change a thing!

3) How do you take your coffee?
All the ways! All the time!
First cup = Black with almond milk
Second cup = Black
Midmorning = Skim milk misto
Optional afternoon cup = Black

4) If you could pick any vacation in the world, what would it be and why?
Oh, this is impossibly hard! I love to travel. I love people. I love cultures. I love being out of my comfort zone. I would love to visit Asia and Australia. But right now... my heart is pounding to visit Haiti and work alongside those on the frontlines of improving maternal health... for even just a moment.

5) What has been the hardest part about your motherhood journey?
Oh... just, reality... the coming to grips with the truth that THIS right here is what I have been given. I can enjoy or complain – but at the end of the day, it is up to me to choose. Motherhood has looked and continues to look NOTHING like what I thought it would. The hardest part is accepting what is.

6) What has been the best part?
The unexpected joy I have gotten through humiliation. Coming to grips with the truth that I know NOTHING at all about parenting or motherhood is tremendously freeing.... My daughter’s dry sense of humor and personality that is NOTHING like mine, also brings me to tears in laughter!

7) Leggings as pants: yay or nay?
Goodness, I’m embarrassed to say that I was allll “judgy” about this only a few years back and now, I’m a leggings 4 days a week girl! (Blame it on the yoga!)

8) Favorite TV show?
Call the Midwife... shocker... I know.

9) Favorite junk food?
ICE CREAM – LOCAL ICE CREAM – In the summer on a blazing hot day... where it melts down the cone before you can finish it... in my opinion, the best junk food has memories attached....

10) Best advice you’ve ever been given?
“We deserve nothing – so we are free to enjoy everything.”
– My mama (1958 – 2007)

Next we would love to introduce you to Maria! This wonderful lady serves as Managing Director and takes on many responsibilities that keep the organizations wheels turning. We may tease her about keeping us in line, but she really does. She's as loyal as they come, generous, kind and truly cares about each mother that we serve. We would literally be lost without her (and our meetings would be 5 hours long!)

1) Introduce yourself!
Maria Alicia Hayden, 34, one child (Evie, short for Evangeline) age 4, Managing Director for TMC. Born in California, raised in NJ, school in upstate NY, now making a home in central VA, with the occasional stint in New England as my husband is from Maine. 

2) How did you come to work with TMC?
I was referred to TMC (then Anticipation and Beyond Café) by my wonderful doula when I was pregnant. After I had Evie I started attending more regularly and would start helping with the Café wherever they needed extra hands. Sometimes I would show up just in time to help clean- up as life with an infant is a bit unpredictable! I had known Lauren for years and it was nice to reconnect and see what they were trying to accomplish in the community. She knew I had non-profit experience and I was asked to join the team as a “consultant” at first. As the organization re-branded and began to grow I eventually stepped into a Managing Director role and it’s been wonderful.  

3) How do you take your coffee?
I don’t drink it everyday, but when I do, it’s always decaf and with a little cream. If I am feeling particularly feisty or cause to celebrate, I will get a “fancy” drink in the form of a caramel latte or chai latte. 

4) If you could pick any vacation in the world, what would it be and why?
My family is from Central America and I would love to go and explore Mayan and Aztec history there. Also a tour of Europe because why not! 

5) What has been the hardest part about your motherhood journey?
Realizing that just because I may have grown up a certain way doesn’t mean that it has to be the same for her. Learning to let go and come to the realization that we hold ourselves (and sometimes others if everyone is being honest) to ridiculous standards. We are on this road together via individual avenues, and that is ok!! Balance is key and when Evie was an infant I didn’t have this, I was working way to much, dragging her around with me everywhere and not looking out for her best interest, it has take a while to figure out what balance looks like and I am still working on it most days, but trying to give myself more grace about it.     

6) What has been the best part?
That despite all the crazy, frustrating moments, watching this tiny human flourish and grow has been pretty incredible. Each stage of her life has been fascinating and it just keeps getting better! My absolute favorite is watching her make simple discoveries and take the greatest pleasure in the little things. For example when she realizes a new food that she likes it’s as if the world has stood still for a moment!   

7) Leggings as pants: yay or nay?
I was a strong nay for years, but actually think it’s totally acceptable when one wears a long enough tunic or dress and leggings are completely opaque.

8) Favorite TV show?
This changes all the time depending on the season of life I am in. Currently we are into the Hulu show 11.22.63 staring James Franco based on a novel about a English teacher who happens to travel back in time to try and stop the JFK assassination. It's pretty compelling and we are enjoying it so far. (Franco is kind of easy on the eyes, so that’s nice too, ha!)

9) Favorite junk food?
This is so embarrassing but if I am being completely honest, it is Utz’s sour cream and onion chips (with ridges). So bad but so good!!

10) Best advice you’ve ever been given?
When I was pregnant someone told me that when I am in a difficult stage of parenthood feeling like it is going to last forever, that all of sudden it will be done and on the other side. Everything has another side and nothing is forever, both good and bad. It has been helpful to keep in mind in all seasons of life.               

Friday Introductions: Meet our Cafe' Volunteers

We're continuing on the Friday Introductions bandwagon, and taking time each week to introduce you to some of our amazing volunteer staff! Because our wonderful staff has grown so much, (amazing, truly.) we are doubling up each week on the introductions. This week we are highlighting more of our amazing Cafe' leaders! First, we introduce you to Erica, our Cafe' Moderator. She has served in a variety of roles over the years and continues to pour into the lives of the women who come through the doors of our Cafe'. TMC would have a giant hole without Erica...I'm not sure we could ever say enough about how wonderful she is - or how valuable to us!

1) Introduce yourself!
Erica Wolfe, 34 (Quick! Publish this now; I'm 35 in a few weeks.) 
3 kiddos – 4.5, almost 3 and 5 months.

In a former life, I was an organist, accompanist and piano teacher. I was briefly the co-owner of a cloth diaper business. These days I'm at home kid-wrangling full time. I also do housework very infrequently and with little enthusiasm.

2) How did you come to work with TMC?
I found TMC (then known as Anticipation and Beyond Cafe') when I was pregnant in 2011 with my first child. Laurie Flower, one of the founders, taught my childbirth classes and told me about the group when it began. Once my daughter arrived, I attended Cafes regularly and pretty early on started informally helping with setup and clean up. When my daughter was 6 months old, I was asked to start taking candid pictures at Cafes, playgroups, and other events. In the summer of 2012, we rebranded as The Motherhood Collective and started our website. I officially joined the leadership team as the Blog Editor and worked with Liz Cook to create a lot of the early online information about our programs and local resources. In January of 2014, I turned over the blog to other capable hands and took on a new role as the Small Group Manager for our Cafe' Monday peer support groups. I also started splitting Cafe' Moderator duties with Lauren Barnes. In 2016, I took over the Cafe' Moderator role completely and continue managing small groups. Cafe' Mondays are my favorite!

3) How do you take your coffee?
Early, often and strong – with a little cream. Sugar and "flavoring" have no place in my mug. I firmly believe that coffee should taste like coffee.

4) If you could pick any vacation in the world, what would it be and why?
Someplace warm, sandy, without children and in the USA. Why? I like to read on the beach without interruption and my passport has expired.

5) What has been the hardest part about your motherhood journey?
Nursing my first child was very challenging. We dealt with a number of issues, including tongue tie, a painful latch and multiple bouts of mastitis. We were able to push through and it taught me a lot about breastfeeding. And while I am a huge breastfeeding advocate, my experience left me very empathetic to those women who struggle with nursing and choose to not continue.
These days, my hardest job is juggling the constantly changing needs of all the members of my family – often on very little sleep and with limited patience.

6) What has been the best part?
I love being there for all the little moments – milk drunk newborns, baby coos, first words and steps, all the pretend play, budding friendships and big kid triumphs. Also, my children are still at the age where I can fix most of their problems. I know those days are numbered and I'm trying to savor my time as "Mama, Righter of All Wrongs." 

Also, since becoming a mother, I have met an amazing number of smart, strong and passionate women. It's been my absolute privilege to share these early parenting years with them. I know many of them will be lifelong friends. It's such a gift.

7) Leggings as pants: yay or nay?
I will happily give my opinion on many topics. Fashion is nowhere on the list.

8) Favorite TV show?
Oh, so many. I'm currently binge-watching NYPD Blue. I really like Homeland, The Good Wife, Outlander and Call the Midwife. I'm bummed that Downton Abbey is over. My husband and I are currently watching Better Call Saul as a desperate attempt to relive the magic of Breaking Bad. I loved Mad Men. And I'm a total sucker for Little House on the Prairie (I have every season on DVD).

9) Favorite junk food?
I would never say no to homemade tapioca pudding. Serve it with coffee and I'll be your best friend.

10) Best advice you’ve ever been given?
Well, it's a little complicated, but this is something I think about a lot. I love the phrase, "comparison is the thief of joy."  Remember, no one has it all figured out, no matter how it looks. Everyone's life has its share of struggles, sadness and problems. We all go through difficult seasons. I try very hard to celebrate the accomplishments of my friends, delight in their children's successes and nurture relationships. Building someone up is always worth it and it really isn't difficult to be kind. Jealousy is not productive. Sometimes it is really hard not to compare, but as a friend recently said, "do the work or be content." It's important to be at peace with where you are or recognize that you have the power to make new choices and change your life.

Next up, we have another one of our lovely Cafe' volunteers! Liz has been with TMC since its beginning and continues to serve faithfully today as a Cafe' Express team member. As an entrepreneur, birth advocate, mama of 2 and all-around 'women rock!' kind of girl, we admire and absolutely adore Liz and can not imagine this organization without her.

1) Introduce yourself!
My name is Liz and I am in my early thirties. :) (At what point are we supposed to stop sharing our exact age??) I have two awesome girls, ages 4 and 14 months. They are super in love with each other and they warm my heart (almost) daily with their interactions. I am also married to a hard-working man who is away for long hours during the day. I also run my own photography business here in Lynchburg, VA, and it's one of the things that keeps me sane by giving me lots of excuses to avoid doing the laundry, dishes, and other household chores. :) 

2) How did you come to work with TMC? 
I discovered The Motherhood Collective when it was in it's early beginnings and under a different name. After only attending a few Cafe' events, I knew I wanted to be involved. My heart for motherhood and supporting moms grew as my first year of motherhood unfolded before me. I recognized the support necessary to not feel completely alone and lost, and I wanted to give that support to other women as often as I could. 

3) How do you take your coffee? 
Coffee? I take cream and sugar with a splash of coffee, if we're being honest. ;) 

4) If you could pick any vacation in the world, what would it be and why?
I would retreat to a cottage in the woods with windows wide open, soft, flowy curtains and not a care in the world. (That includes no bug spray required!) I'd probably spend my vacation flirting with my husband and brainstorming business ideas. Both are truly my favorite things to do. :) Oh... but a vacation isn't a vacation without a long massage, amiright?!

5) What has been the hardest part about your motherhood journey?
Learning a new practice all over again. Becoming a mother is like being the new kid in school – you've entered a new world of which you know nothing about, and the best gift in this new world is having someone to take your hand and show you the way around. I had a hard time recognizing that a new baby really did mean less time for myself, and it took me a long time to fully surrender to motherhood. Once I did, though, things became a lot more enjoyable for my whole family. :)  

6) What has been the best part?
The deep friendships I have been able to make with other mothers. While they would never replace lifelong friendships I had before motherhood, the women I have been able to connect with add a whole new layer of enjoyment to my life. And hopefully this goes without saying, but experiencing the heartfelt joy of watching your baby grow into themselves, seeing bits of personality develop and listening to each and every baby giggle... those are, by far, the best moments of motherhood. 

7) Leggings as pants: yay or nay?
Um. Yah.

8) Favorite TV show?
I really miss my Parenthood friends... it's like they just abandoned me for better lives or something. Good thing I have a new season of Big Brother drama to distract me every summer. ;)

9) Favorite junk food?
Arby's Jamocha + curly fries binge. Oh man... SUCH guilt!

10) Best advice you’ve ever been given?
Why be afraid of the truth? It is what gives you an opportunity to be a better person. So many people are afraid to be honest, but honesty shared with love is what makes this world a better place.

For more info on our Monday cafes, click here.

For info on our Cafe' Express, click here.

Friday Introductions: Meet our Playgroup Leaders!

We're continuing on the Friday Introductions bandwagon, and taking time each week to introduce you to some of our amazing volunteer staff! Because our wonderful staff has grown so much, (amazing, truly.) We are doubling up each week on the introductions. This week we are going to introduce you to our amazing Playgroup Leaders! First up, meet Gina. Incredibly genuine, so welcoming and kind, and a fabulous baker to boot...she may or may not sometimes make yummy treats and bring them to playgroup. Just saying.

1) Introduce yourself!
Gina Hamilton, 31  
Elise 2 years old
Expecting baby #2 this summer! 

I’m a registered nurse, but have been taking a break from nursing this year to focus on my growing family!  

I volunteer as Playgroup Co­-Leader with The Motherhood Collective. 

2) How did you come to work with TMC?
I attended my very first Cafe' when I was 12 weeks pregnant with my first. After attending just one cafe I felt so empowered and encouraged after hearing the other mama’s birth stories! Just that one encounter changed the way I viewed birth and made me realize that I had options (that I didn’t even know existed in this area) and led me on an amazing journey (I’d love to tell you all about it if you’re interested). Ever since then and since the birth of my daughter I’ve been so passionate about this organization and their mission! I attended every Cafe' that I could after Elise’s birth and was looking and hoping for a way to give back to this organization that has given me so much! Lauren approached me about co-­leading playgroup when my daughter was about 6 months old and I was eager to jump on board! 

3) How do you take your coffee?
Hazelnut or vanilla flavored with a generous splash of cream and a little sugar. 

4) If you could pick any vacation in the world, what would it be and why?
Any tropical island with crystal blue, green and turquoise water, white sand and palm trees. I’d actually love to go back to the Virgin Islands one day! If this is a dream vacation a nanny would also be a requirement since it brings me such joy to watch my daughter explore and play in the sand and water at the beach but feeding, clothing, potty training and parenting a two year old is hard work and leaves no time for rest or relaxation or uninterrupted time with one’s husband… 

Why… I love the ocean, for me, there’s no place that’s more relaxing… the breeze, the feeling of the sand on my bare feet, walking on the shore, swimming in the ocean... Snorkeling in Trunk Bay is one of the most amazing things I’ve ever done… seeing colorful fish, coral and swimming alongside a sea turtle are all things I’d love to do again one day with my family. 

5) What has been the hardest part about your motherhood journey?
Postpartum: the extreme lack of sleep, lack of support, trying to breastfeed my baby (that couldn’t tolerate formula) with tongue tie and an aversion to the breast that would scream and cry when even brought near my bare chest, pumping constantly, the anxiety that consumed me until she finally latched on at 10 weeks old. 

6) What has been the best part?
Needless to say, the newborn phase is not my favorite part (see #5)! Honestly, once we got over that big hurdle I felt like I/we could accomplish anything. Once feeding my baby wasn’t a struggle I was able to enjoy being a mother and have enjoyed motherhood ever since. Even though things were harder than I imagined they would be in the beginning, motherhood has also been so much more amazing and fulfilling than I ever could have imagined it would be. I’ve loved getting to know my daughter, seeing her personality blossom, watching her grow, learn and explore. She amazes me every day, she has changed me for the better, and causes me to reevaluate myself often and strive to be the best version of myself so that I may set a good example for her to follow.  

7) Leggings as pants: yay or nay?
Depends on the leggings, but usually as long as shirt or sweater is long enough to cover everything then yes. 

8) Favorite TV show?
Grey’s Anatomy, even though it used to really annoy me that the doctors do a lot of things that nurses usually do in the hospital (besides operate of course). 

9) Favorite junk food?
At this point in my pregnancy, ice cream. 

10) Best advice you’ve ever been given?
Recently I read a parenting article that really struck a chord, the gist: “Just do you.” The article wasn’t profound nor was this a new concept to me (one of the reasons I love TMC is because of their “salad bar approach”). The article really spoke to me because it compared opposing parenting views with ‘assumed’ consequences of doing the opposite using sarcasm of course. By the time you get to the end of the article you realize just how absurd all this is and how truly different every single person's opinion is so why worry about what someone else thinks is best, when you are the one that knows your child better than anyone else. You are the best mother for them, you are the expert. Don’t second guess what works best for you and your family, whatever that may be.  

Next, we would love to introduce you to our other Playgroup Leader, Jenna! With a surprising (yet awesome) sense of sarcastic humor, a heart that is passionate about helping young mothers, and a willingness to give her all to everything she does, we kind of like Jenna a lot. 

1) Introduce yourself!
My name is Jenna Tomlin, I will be 28 in June (the reality of turning 30 soon is sending me for a loop), one precious baby boy that turned 1 in January and have been married to my best friend for 5 ½ years. This will be my first year co-leading the playgroup which will be perfect for my super active little man. 

2) How did you come to work with TMC?
I knew Lauren through church and had been following her work with The Motherhood Collective since its inception because I’ve always loved all things surrounding motherhood. After finishing college and before I had a full-time job, I had the opportunity to work as the childcare coordinator and served in that capacity until a full-time job caused me to not be able to volunteer. I now serve as the co-leader of the Playgroup.

3) How do you take your coffee?
From Starbucks: Nonfat Mocha
From Dunkin Donuts: Largest size of Iced Coffee with Cream Only
At Home: Dark Roast Coffee with half-and-half

4) If you could pick any vacation in the world, what would it be and why?
It would be a tie between a tour of England, Scotland and Ireland, I love all things British, the tea, the Royal Family, the accents (who doesn’t), the TV (BBC Sherlock is one of the greatest shows ever created), the culture and the countryside.

The other tie would be an African Safari, I always thought that would be an awesome vacation to see something so different than what we encounter day to day and I’m slightly obsessed with zoos and aquariums so why not see some of the most magnificent animals in their natural habitat.
 
5) What has been the hardest part about your motherhood journey?
Our time in the mother-baby unit. After truly an idyllic labor and delivery that was everything I hoped it would be, we had a horrible stay in mother-baby that took several weeks to get over. Also, the just constant hum in my brain of thinking about and sometimes worrying about caring for another little human being.

6) What has been the best part?
Every new stage. Seeing my little snuggly, sleepy newborn blossom into a little guy that is extremely effective at communicating, loves to use sign language, makes me laugh every day and has just recently learned how to tickle us which causes us all to laugh hysterically. 

7) Leggings as pants: yay or nay?
Yay as long as you have something like a tunic or dress on top, like most other people have answered, cover the tush and you’re good!

8) Favorite TV show?
Right now it is Parks and Recreation, I have watched through the whole series at least 3 times now. I have also watched all of The Office, Friends, and Sherlock (like mentioned previously, one of the greatest TV shows ever created). I also love watching cooking shows with Good Eats being my longest standing favorite and The Pioneer Woman being my current favorite, can I just have her house, her dogs, her horses, and land but also only live 30 minutes from a big city, reasonable request right? And the Great British Bake Off. I also enjoy Master Chef Junior and it is the only show that I watch with regularity on real TV; Netflix is where I live most of the time.

9) Favorite junk food?
Brownies for days!! And a brownie sundae with coffee ice cream would be alright too.

10) Best advice you’ve ever been given?
From my mom growing up: You can do anything you set your mind to. 

Friday Introductions: Meet our Café’ Express Team

We're joining the Friday Introductions bandwagon, and taking time each week to introduce you to some of our amazing volunteer staff! Because our wonderful staff has grown so much, (amazing, truly.) we are doubling up each week on the introductions. First, we introduce you to Kerri, one of our Cafe' Express leaders! With a passion for women and a drive to support mothers in all of their choices, and a refreshing sense of humor, we are thrilled to have her on our team!

1) Introduce yourself!
Hi! I’m Kerri! I’m 31 with a 14-month-old toddler (Adeline), and I’m expecting twins this summer. I work at Sweet Briar College as Director of Residence Life.

2) How did you come to work with TMC?
I sat on a panel back in the summer of 2015 and fell in love with the mission of the organization and the energy of the people running it. There was a while when I thought I was moving to Texas and I was bummed that I finally found “my people,” only to have to move away. Thankfully, that didn’t happen, so I jumped at the chance to get involved.

3) How do you take your coffee?
Light and sweet – just a smidge over what a normal person would consider an appropriate amount of creamer.

4) If you could pick any vacation in the world, what would it be and why?
I’d love to go anywhere in Europe – mostly Italy, France, Spain, or England. My mom and I did a driving tour of bed and breakfasts in Ireland a few years ago and I’d do it again in a heartbeat, but only if I didn’t have to drive again!

5) What has been the hardest part about your motherhood journey?
The exhaustion. I don’t think I have slept through the night in about two years.

6) What has been the best part?
Everything else (besides the exhaustion). I love watching her learn, realizing she knows more today than she did yesterday, and trying to keep up with this ball of every.

7) Leggings as pants: yay or nay?
You do you, boo.

8) Favorite TV show?
I’m really enjoying Life in Pieces right now. I also binge watch The West Wing like it’s going out of style.

9) Favorite junk food?
I think I’d have to go with ice cream.

10) Best advice you’ve ever been given?
Give yourself grace – you are doing the best you can and that is enough.

Megan Davies is another one of our lovely Cafe' Express leaders! Smart, artistic and a working mama who can relate to that ever-constant balancing act, she is a breath of fresh air to the Express team!

1) Introduce yourself!
Megan Davies, 30; one son, James, 1. Exhibit coordinator & artist at Amazement Square.

2) How did you come to work with TMC?
From Facebook and a friend (Jen Douglas).

3) How do you take your coffee?
Either black or with a bit of cream.

4) If you could pick any vacation in the world, what would it be and why?
Uganda, because it’s a second home to me.

5) What has been the hardest part about your motherhood journey?
Adjusting to mom-life, and trying to keep everything balanced: time with James, work, family and friends.

6) What has been the best part?
Everything! His flirty smile, his hugs, when he holds my hand.

7) Leggings as pants: yay or nay?
Nay… yoga pants or skinny jeans.

8) Favorite TV show?
Big Bang Theory

9) Favorite junk food?
Ice Cream

10) Best advice you’ve ever been given?
Love life.

Meghann Cope is another amazing leader who serves as part of the Cafe' Express team! A teacher, mom of two and always welcoming with her bubbly personality, we love having Meghann on staff!

1) Introduce yourself! 
Meghann Cope, 31.
2 kids – Eleanor (4), Amelia (2) and 1 husband (Curt).
Teacher by day.

2) How did you come to work with TMC?
I had attended as many Monday cafes as I could while on maternity leave/summer, and then when the working mom’s meet-up was formed, I attended those too. I wanted to be part of this organization because of the amazing things that were happening. So, when they needed someone to come on and be part of the team for the rebranded, Café Express, I was very excited to join!

3) How do you take your coffee?
With lots of cream & sugar, or replace coffee with say, sugar-free Cinnamon Dulce Latte.

4) If you could pick any vacation in the world, what would it be and why?
Scotland, again, because I love the raw beauty of the highlands, or New Zealand for the first time for the same reasons.

5) What has been the hardest part about your motherhood journey?
The hardest part of my motherhood journey is the mommy guilt that accompanies being a working mom.

6) What has been the best part?
Watching my girls learn new things, and every time they look at me and say, “I love you, mommy.”

7) Leggings as pants: yay or nay?
NAY! Your shirt must qualify as a mini-dress to cover you ass-ets!

8) Favorite TV show?
Outlander!

9) Favorite junk food?
Candy! Nerds!